Brown eyes on brunette
by SocietyKilledMe-WickedDaphne
Summary: She loved his brother while he was her bully.She loved his cousin while cousin was killer. She had a friend, friend betrayed her.She had family,now dead.She is alone,inteligent,revengy,broken and lost.She is beautiful and rich.She is Bella and she killed someone. What happens when Isabella Swan becomes object of obssession,again?What happens when she is betrayed,again? ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter one: What we see in mirrors**

**BPOV**

"Isabella! Come here... I have something for you." Paul called for me from living room. He was always here and I am thanking God on that. If he is not I would be alone and I can't be alone. Ever . I was still in bed when he arrived even with fact that I was awake since Rose left. I was in my pajama as I call it. It wasn't real pajama, it was some random shirt and shorts. Things I wouldn't possibly wear even if it was hot. I don't go for much skin showing. I am always all covered so no one see my scars or burns. Not even me. Thing is that, I would freak out every time someone saw them. When I saw them I would zone out and thought about how I get them and what I have done. It is hard for me so my head always start ache. Ache soon cause me running to get some pills that I'm sure will kick me down. Paul knew that I'm awake, he knows that I can't sleep without any one by my side. Now I know that he is waiting for me to get ready, he knows that there is no chance that I will walk in living room totally exposed. By that I mean he knew that I will not come to him in my pajama showing all scars and burns I have. Thinking about Paul I realize he knows a lot. I wiggle out of bed so I can dress up. Before I was usually thinking more about what I'll wear for a day, but that was before... I dress some random shirt, long sleeved for sure and black skinny ripped jeans. Jeans are showing my skin, but that skin isn't damaged so I'll be fine. I put black pumps as well and I'm ready to go.

"You look nice Bells." He said.

"Wouldn't know Paul." I said back. How could I know how I look, I didn't check myself out in mirror for a long time. "So Paul what do you have for me?" I asked. Paul gave me a small box. I thanked him and opened it. I gasped. "Paul what does this mean?" I stare in that box with shock.

"You know you will have to look yourself in mirror one time, right?" He didn't answer, he gave me a task.

I was in shock. Paul gave me mirror, small one, but it was still mirror. What should I do? Should I just give in and check myself out? No, that is not going to happen. Mirrors. They are always showing all we got. The show us how we look, they show us everything. Even things we don't want to see. To me mirrors are reminders of what I was gonetrough. Pain, I was gone trough. Mirror show me my appearance, my scars and my burns. Maybe that is why I can't look myself in mirror. It sure is. Not knowing how you look, since last time you checked yourself out in mirror is a lot easier then being reminded of pain and face of person who caused your pain.

"Not really. Why should I? Should I go around and check if I still fit in brunette profile?" I asked completely lost in my own thoughts and fears.

"Bells, that is the way of letting things go and you need to let things go. I'm completely sure that you were thinking about him today..."

"And why is that Paul?" I cut him of. I can't just go around being normal like before. I am not crazy, I am just completely mess right now.

"Bells... Your shirt is blue." Is all he said. He didn't say anything strange, he just reminded me on things I wanted to forget. He opened my eyes and now is time for me to see. See me. I took mirror from box. I approached it closer to my face, I didn't look yet. My eyes were closed tightly they didn't want to open. But they needed to. And, they did. I gasped, I didn't know what to do, I just stared in brown-eyed brunette. Paul noticed my reaction and he asked me if I am okay. I wasn't. I found gaze of brunette in mirror and held on in tightly.

"I still look like her." Words came from nowhere.

"No, you don't look like her Bells. You are her."After his words my whole world crashed. I wasn't afraid of mirror, I was afraid of reflection in it. No matter how long you don't look yourself in mirror, it doesn't mean that reflection changes. It doesn't.

Before I passed out on floor "I still fit the borwneyed brunette profile." Echoed trough room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two **

**Sister**

**BPOV**

_Red not blue._

Scream. My scream. Scream echoed. Where am I? I couldn't open my eyes and I couldn't move my arms. It was like they were glued together. Scream by scream, one more to count, one more to hear. My eyes flash open, but I don't see. I try again and again, nothing. I scream for some more. Is there anyone to hear me?

"She is awake." Unfamiliar voice said.

"Go and tell him." Another unfamiliar voice said.

My eyes... I can finally see, except there is nothing to be seen. White room with one window and bed I am on. Where am I? I look at myself, my arms. They aren't glued as I thought before. I ... I'm wearing straitjacket. Straitjacket**? **Then it hits me. I'm in madhouse. Why am I here? I am not crazy... or am I? Before I can panic, someone opens a door.

"Bells you okay?" Echoed through room. Paul is here. But why is he here? Or why am I here?

"Paul." I said like I'm asking. He nods. "Why am I here?" Words came out of nowhere. I didn't know I could say them. I was too lost to think before. Paul isn't giving me an answer.

"Why am I here?" I ask again. No answer. "Why am I in madhouse?" Still no answer. "Paul?" I beg.

"Bells, please try to stay calm and I will explain everything. Okay"? He waited for my nod. I gladly gave him one.

"Okay, so Bells I would first want to say I'm deeply sorry..." He stared. Why is he sorry? I don't understand. What happened? My eyes open wider than they were before and I gaze so deeply in Paul's eyes. He understood that I don't understand so he simply moves on.

"I'm sorry because... I pressure you up about mirror thing and that caused you to have..." I cut him of. What happened?

"Cut story straight." He nods.

_You had panic attack._

_Big one._

Paul explained to that I had panic attack and I knocked myself down unconscious. He called ambulance after I didn't react, after my body didn't react. In hospital... he explained they gave me some medication, but still nothing. They gave something more that cause me to open eyes as he say. I didn't know I opened my eyes before. I didn't remember. When I finally awoke, he told me that at first I was still and calm. Well calm until I saw needles, then I started screaming hell out of me. I freaked and doctors tried to knock me down with no harm done, but they couldn't. Paul said that they gave me something that knocked me down for three days. He told me that I harmed myself so that is reason for being stuck in madhouse with straitjacket. So I can't harm myself anymore. I didn't remember any of it. After all of it I just simply nod.

"Paul, how is that, I mean why medication didn't work and why they caused me to freak afterwards?"

"There was chemical reaction in your body caused by all they gave you, pills you took and well some other things in your body..."

"Okay... So it still hits me? Things that..They are still in me. Things I was given by..." I couldn't finish my sentence because of realization that is knocking me down. He... he**.** Paul seemed to realized it too, but he didn't say it aloud. He was afraid of my reaction and honestly I was too.

"Paul how did you get me in here? I mean I don't have parents to sign papers and I'm not eighteen..."

"Bells, don't freak out, please. I called Caralise and he took care of it." Paul told me and I didn't frankly know what does that mean. So I asked.

Paul told me that he called Caralise because he didn't know who else he could call. He is doctor after all. So by all means that could mean what just happened, Caralise really did take care of situation. He called in hospital and checked on me, hospital papers and lot more.

"He what?" I snapped. How does he dare? My father didn't even shrug in his grave and now I am being called his daughter.

"Bells, you need to understand that if he didn't do that you would stuck in system until you are eighteen."

And that was how it was. I was no longer my father's daughter I was now daughter of other man. I am daughter of Caralise Cullen.

"He adopted me."

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_'You will never good enough. So don't flatter yourself. Uh, huh, you are feisty one aren't you? You will have to pay for it'_

Scream, loud and shrill woke me up that morning. My scream ofcourse. Another nightmare. After my madhouse experience, I had to add Cullen behind Isabella Swan, so I was now Isabella Swan Cullen. Caralisle came to me in New York and we have dealt with everything. Caralilse Cullen aka my father's best friend is living in Forks. Small town in Washington, town where everyone knows everyone and town in which rain is like trademark.

Caralisle is doctor, best one if you ask his patients. He has wife Esme and two sons, Edward and Emmet. Yeah and fun starts here. No matter how long Caralisle and Charlie know each other and no matter how good I was with his sons.. well son, I would rather be under custody of Billy Black.

Billy Black was Charlie's business partner and good friend. Paul was his son and Jacob was too. Jacob and Paul were two most kindest males on planet. They took care of me when I lost everything. Well by everything I didn't mean that I was poor and lost. Jacob, Paul and I became friends when I arrived in NY. We were the same. Rich kids whose dads are businessmen who's wives died. That was cold-blooded of me, but I didn't care. It was truth. My mother Renee died of cancer when I was kid, their mom died in same time as mine, well sort of. We didn't speak about it, it was our law. Since our dads were always somewhere we decided we will meet in NY and that was the best and the worst decision ever due the events that followed.

I left Forks because I didn't see why should I tolerate the Cullen's crap. Emmet and Edward were so different and I don't mean by appearance. Sure they were both buffs, but Emmet was real buff-buff. Well that is the way I remember them, I didn't see them for a while. Thing about Cullens was that, Edward hated me to the core and Emmet loved me to the core. Two brothers, two puzzles. Before I left, I dated Emmet and Edward didn't approve me. He hated me so much that he **c**ouldn't left Emmet be happy. Edward said some craps about me to Emmet. Emmet didn't belive him but I did. He had declared that I will never be good enough for Cullen boys and that I should let go of Emmet. I did**. **And here we are now, I just became their sister.

**So you like it? Review and sorry for mistakes, I need beta.**

**XOXOXO**

**Wicked Daphne**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Goodbye and wellcome

BPOV

"Bells, I'm going to miss you, badly." Jacob said.

"Same here." Paul said.

"Oh my God, you boys are such cry-babies."Rose said. "But of course I'm going to miss my Bells."

Rose is my best friend, along with Jacob and Paul. I don't know what would I do without them. I met Rosaile in school and soon enough we became inseparable. When she moves, I move too and reverse. Rose is absolutely beautiful. She is tall, taller than me with long and straight blond hair. She is great friend, but she can be great bitch too. She is one of these people with which you just click and you can never send them away. It is the same way with Jacob and Paul, we just clicked and became besties. Jacob and Paul, Black brothers as some people call them. They are so similar, they are both tanned and muscled. They are 'handsome boys' as Rose call them. Paul is tall and Jacob is even taller. Paul is 6'1'' and Jake is 6'2''. Rose, Jacob, Paul and me were populars in NY'S High on Manhattan.

There were few people with who we were hanging, but we were each other's the best. People often called us HSB. We did remain on top even after bad things that happened because we hid them good. No one knew what is really happening when I was in hospital or more recently in madhouse, we hid things so good. People don't even know I was in madhouse. No one dared to ask us questions because we were on top of rang list and everyone cared about what we were thinking about people who were under us. We actually weren't so bad, but we didn't trust a lot of people. Why should we? We were good and enough for ourselves and we did get a burn before. And, that is the way of how we 'ruled'. After 'incident' that happened, I was stuck in hospital for some time. For a long time if you ask me. After 'incident' my almost whole left side was crushed and my right side wasn't any better. We didn't tell what actually happened, we lied that I was hit by car. Being hit by car was million miles or even more away from truth. Truth was much worse and painfull. We hid truth from others, but we couldn't hid it from ourselves. We could just pretend we won't drown in lies and pain. Well Jake, Rose and Paul could, I couldn't. My head was already under surface.

Jacob, Paul and Rose were saying their goodbye to at airport. I was leaving New York. Caralisle want to take full care of me until I'm eighteen, so I needed to pack all my belongings to Forks. I will finish High school there and that sucks, a lot. When I had first spoke to Caralisle, he said that it would be better for me to near 'family' and that I will come to Forks with first plane. That was first thing we discussed and first thing on what we disagree. I wanted to stay in New York and he wanted me in Forks. I didn't see point of it so I just rejected it. Of course things weren't so simple, Caralisle Cullen under whose custody I'm now said that I can't just say no because I'm not eighteen. So now I will need to suck it up. Well I didn't completely lose my battle, I managed to stay in New York for some more time. Enough time to pack my things and finish what was unfinished. My father's will and his company. My father was one of the most powerful men in state, he has company which employs lots of people working in every sector and have its branches everywhere. Well, he had. After his death, his company became mine as it says in his will. So technically I,his underage daughter became leader of it. So it is mine 'job' to put some people in charge before I can step in and took what belongs to me. And, once I did it, I mean once I found a man worth of mine thrust I was ready to go to Forks, on my sorrow. So here I am saying goodbye to people without whom I will be lost.

"Seriously guys, stop crying. Jake, your face looks like you borrowed it from lost puppy and Paul, yours looks like puppy had brother." I said. Seriously guys did cry as I pulled them in hug. Rose didn't cry, she knows how to control her emotions and she found my statement about puppy funny so she was smiling. I didn't cry either, I'm not capable of crying. With some time on my hands I realized I'm not capable of many things. Feeling was one of them. And, things I was capable of were remembering and choosing. By choosing I mean choosing clothing and making bad decisions. So today I am wearing black socks which went above the knees, black shorts, white shirt with large black cross and big oversized black vest. After all I am going to Forks and there is no way that I will show people my arms. Vest was actually Jacob's. He gave me his vest so I don't forget him. I paired that with shoes with a full heel stilettos. They had spikes on. Shoes were gift by Rose. Paul gave me something too. He gave me charm bracelet. Beautiful one. It was silver with charms. Every charm represented one of us. B was for Bells, R for Rose, J for Jacob and P for Paul. It was just beautiful.

"Come on, its not end of world. I'm just moving far-far away." I sang a little. They loved my singing and my smile. Things that weren't common after 'incident', these things didn't exist. I remember that before we couldn't stop smiling to each other, laughing about most random things and singing songs that we made up. That were good times. Good times that seem to be far-far away, almost forgotten.

"Bells, just don't forget us." Rosalie begged. I pulled out of hug I was sharing with Jake and Paul and hugged Rose tightly.

"Never." I whispered in her ear. She pulled out of hug and looked in my eyes, she just knew it. She knew that I'm telling the truth. I turned to Jake and Paul and said my final goodbye.

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"So Bells..." Caralisle said. "How was your flight?" He asked.

"It was okay I guess, first class and all of that. No one bothered me so it was just fine." Caralisle didn't know what he could say to me and I didn't bother much when he did. He tried to chat, but soon enough he gave up. What could he possibly say to teenage girl who he placed in nuthouse and then adopted her?

"So can I ask you few questions?" Caralisle asked as he placed my luggage in trunk. Ah, here we go. We will play twenty questions I guess.

"Ofcourse you can." I said with such effort to be polite. I didn't like being asked stupid questions and that was just first of it.

"How that you didn't fall in system when you were first hospitalized? I mean. You were living without parental protection for some time." Here we go. I will die answering his questions.

"I believe it is because... when doctors put me in a coma, person who was on my call list was already in hospital. So they didn't call my father. They called him when I woke, I mean when doctors woke me and rest you know." I didn't even look at Caralisle. My eyes were focused on road when he asked again.

"And how do you know I know?" He obviously wanted to chat on our way to Forks so he asked.

"Paul."I said. "You talk with Paul and Paul talk to me." Caralisle simply nodded and asked multiple questions about how am I feeling, how are my friends and how I caused all trouble I was in. He was noisy actually and I can't say I like it. He told me he is sorry that he put me in madhouse and that he thought that that way I will have time to relax. Yeah right. He asked about my father's company and will, but there was nothing much to tell. All he had belonged to me. Caralisle also said that if I need any help about school I can ask Emmet or Edward. Jeez. Is he crazy? He is afraid that I will not pass school year.

"Caralisle are you saying that I'm stupid or something?" I asked him after I couldn't listen him anymore. He was babbling about how 'good' his boys are.

"Um.. no? I had just assumed that you didn't have time for school with everything going on.." Ha. He really did think I'm stupid.

"So You assumed that I can't handle myself up and that I will probably forget about schoolwork and studying? Well that was very low, but so do you know I'm not offended, I don't care enough to be offended." After that our chat ended. Died. End. Well almost, I asked question after that.

"So what did your boys tell when you told them that I will live with you and after you told them what I did?"

"They don't know, only Esme knows and I didn't tell them anything. I mean I did tell Esme, but not to the boys. I don't know a lot about what happened and actually I heard what happened when Charlie... Charlie told me... After all it is not my story to share." The way his words were chosen, I knew that our conversation had officially ended. Died.

We reached Forks in fifteen minutes. We didn't speak another word to each other. I was glad Caralisle didn't tell them what I have done, but that didn't stop me from thinking how Emmet and Edward will react when they find out I will live with them as their sister. **Review.**

**Sorry for mistakes, stil need beta, so…**

**Tell my what you think.**

**Wicked Daphne **

**xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Family

BPOV

"So Technically you are bringing me as a surprise?" I asked Caralisle when he pulled in driveway.

"Bells, you were friends with Emmet and Edward I think that your comeback will be 'all dreams come true' to them." Caralisle said with smile.

"Yeah, or 'monster from my nightmare is alive'." I pointed out. Words stuck in Caralisle's throat same time as doors swung open. Woman, beautiful one came out. She had caramel hair and brown eyes. Lucky her. If she had brown hair she would fit Brunette profile too. Well this woman must be Esme. She didn't change at all. I turn to her and she gasps. She came closer and welcomed us. She tried to hug me, but I stepped away. She just nodded and invited us in.

House was just as beautiful as I remember, there were few changes, but not big. Only things that were changed were pictures on wall and bigger shoes of boys. Walls are white and furniture is grey.

"Isabella, you are so beautiful. I'm sure Emmet and Edward will like you with all that long brow hair and chocolate eyes." Esme said and my eyes grown in disbelief. Didn't Caralisle explain some things to Esme, I wondered. I didn't know what to say, there is no way that I will say 'thank you' for that comment. I just nodded to Esme and asked the most random question.

"Where are Emmet and Edward?"

"Oh, dear. I almost forgot. Sorry I just can't stop looking at you. I can't believe how much you had grown and how beautiful you are. I will go call them immediately." She said and walked upstairs. Well awkward isn't it? She has just pointed out the most obvious things about me and my looks. There is nothing bad in obvious, but it is just stupid thing to do. I mean push people to remember that they were almost destroyed by the way they look. The way I look.

"You didn't tell her, did you? I smirked at Caralisle, but without true emotion.

"Well, I must agree that was little bit awkward and, so do you know I did tell her ... things, but I skipped one part." Caralisle told me honestly. "What will you tell boys about..?"

"I'll tell them that I was hit by car or in car crash. I don't want to freak them out immediately. They'll freak out progressively, but if you feel like you need to tell Esme, just tell her." I said and once again killed conversation. Esme came down by stairs with big smile on her face. Well something is wrong I could tell. She extended her way to dining room, so I followed with Carlise behind me. It is time for 'family' diner as she just sang. Esme removed cover on her big mahogany table and Caralisle tried to find plates in kitchen.

" Big cabinet on your left." I said to Caralisle.

"Oh, dear, you have amazing memory." Esme said with smile that was even bigger than before.

"Wouldn't know about that. I just remember how You and Renee were always cocking and I would usually set table." Caralise and Esme looked on me like I went crazy. They didn't know how good my memory is and I don't like to brag. To escape awkward silence "I'll do that now." Slipped my mouth. They both smiled and thanked. That is nice, considering that Caralise's face was whole covered with grimace before. He couldn't find knives.

I took knives and forks from cabinet and started setting table. Plates were on counter where Caralisle placed them on. I walked to grab them, but I was distracted by someone's steps so I rushed in foot of the table. In addition to pain that it caused, one knife fell on floor, so I bend to pick it. I didn't see it at first and when I did, I couldn't reach it.

"So dad, Mom told us if we came down and see hot chick, we 'll wash dishes one week and if not you will." Someone said and I believe it was Edward. I could hear Caralise chuckle. Ah, ha-ca. Here is my knife. I picked it and stood up. "Esme, I dropped knife..." I started .

"Holy shit!" Emmet yells as he sees me. I know it was Emmet because I can see both boys and I assume, Emmet is bigger one.

"What?" Edward asked and then looked at me. "Holy shit, there is hot chick here!" He yelled .

"Boys language." Esme said and started laughing. "Well, I guess you boys know where sponge is then." Holy shit, Esme thought on me when she said hot chick. Well, just give your prettiest flowers to my grave, I will die soon. All this is making me uncomfortable, even more than before.

"Who is that?" Edward asks Caralise instead of asking me.

"How is it possible that you don't know Edward?" Caralisle asked back. Edward has continued staring at me with such a confusion. I walked to Esme and handed her dirty knife.

"Bella?" Emmet asked and waited for my reaction. I yanked at 'Bella', but I did nod. I wasn't able to say anything so I just nod. Emmet rushed to hug me, but Caralisle stopped him he obviously saw my reaction.

"What?"Emmet asked

"Emmet, I'm stopping you before you crush her, so just don't."Caralisle lied. Emmet nodded and walked to Esme. Now Edward, what will he do? Edward walked to me and actually did try to hug me, but I pulled away.

"I don't like you enough to let you hug me." I said to him with no emotion in my words. It was a long time ago when I actually did show any emotion. I don't smile and care.

"Fair enough, welcome back bitch." He smirks at me.

Caralisle told him to watch language and I said that it is okay and that I heard worse. I did. I could completely see how strange Edward and Emmet look at me. Of course they did because before I was a girl who enjoyed life and now I am person who have zero interest in what is going around. I just do what I have to do without looking back. Esme said that diner was ready and that we can go and eat. I wasn't hungry, but I thought I should be polite. When nobody was watching Caralisle and I have exchanged nods. My nod was 'thank you' and his was 'it is okay'. You see, after 'incident' I yank away when someone calls me Bella and when someone touchs me. In school, Paul, Jacob and Rose would create cage around me and we would walk near the walls, that way we could control unnecessary touching. At first I avoided everything, every touch was unnecessary, but that didn't live for long. Considering in what condition I was, my body was, there was always someone who needed to take care about me. Like help me to get shower and help me to get dressed. Rose helped a lot, but she couldn't do all alone, so Jacob and Paul helped too. It was hard, I yanked away every time they touched me and I would yank away even now, after so much time that passed. Calling me 'Bella' is even worse. When I hear 'Bella' I feel like there is something or someone who will push me on edge of tallest building and then tell me to jump. And, I think I would jump. I would jump so I can disappear in darkness of my grave.

So diner and we eat. We eat food that has no taste to me and we drink juicy that can't stop thirst. I lie, I lie to Esme that everything taste like heaven. I can't eat much, I'm not hungry and she even brings a cake. They ask me random questions, stupid ones, I give them answers, short ones and we circle again. Diner ended, lucky me, soon enough I will throw up everything I just ate. Just like always, in two. Review.

**Please, tell me what you are thinking. It means a lot.**

**Sorry for mistakes.**

**Wicked Daphne**

**xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five**

**What is kingdom whitout king?**

**BPOV**

**(I was wondering, do you guys want Edward's pov?)**

Walls have no ears, mirrors have no eyes and air will not suffocate you.

"Isabella dear, would you like to play chess with me?"Caralisle asks. He is trying to make me feel all 'homey'.

"It depends Caralisle,it depends." I say. My words are clear, but my voice is dull.

"On what my dear?" He tries again.

"It depends on how good you are at losing Caralise." I smirk at him.

He put set on table and we are playing along. Honor to start first is all mine as he claims. Black figures, made of glass I pick and my knight is here. Pawns are ready to despair. Game is on and he is doing well. I move, so he moves as well. Someone stares at me, but I don't pick to lose , I even kick his pawn. Caralisle's eyes grow wider. He never lose any. Game goes on and bet is on too. Emmet and Edward of course. Emmet bets on me.' It will all be repaid to you my dear', I thought. Caralisle will lose soon. Pawns are eaten at his side, I took Queen and king as well.

Edward groans and game is done. My victory was played well. I stare at board unable to move. I raise my chin and Caralisle nods. In his eyes I stare, he treated me with smile. I blink, his eyes had glown. I blink again, his eyes are blue. Again. Eyes are green. Again. Brown, eyes are brown as mine. Again, eyes are black, black as night that is pulling me in despair. Black as his.

"Isabella." Someone calls, they shake me out, nothing is black and its not as I see again. I look at Caralisle he stops worrying right away. I look Esme she is all the same. I look boys, freaked as hell.

"What? No one ever won over when playing with Caralisle?" I ask, trying to put myself together. I try as hell with no emotion as they choke in silence that is deadly.

Confusion over took them as I spoke. They shake their heads in 'yes' and 'no', but they don't speak. They just stand and stare, stare in me.

"Awkward." I mumble, but they aren't able to hear. "Esme can you tell me in which room I'll stay?"

"In one in middle."She speaks."Middle of Edward's and Emmet's."

Lucky me and even luckier them. They'll hear screams I scream. They'll hear words I beg, they'll hear words spoken in my nightmare. They will hear it all. I go in hall, I pick my bags. I head upstairs and when I reach first step Caralisle calls for me.

"Bells, wait..." But Emmet cut him in middle.

"Yeah Bells wait, we didn't speak for much..."Emmet speaks and now I cut him off.

"There is nothing much to tell Emmet."I turn on my heel."What is it Caralisle?"

"You will need to wait, there is the mirror in your room. Esme will go to remove it immediately."

I shock my head in disbelief. I was fighting every muscle in my body, forcing myself not to snap. I should thought of it before. The same way there is no kingdom without king, there is no Esme without things that can point out your beauty, mirrors. Or death traps.

"No need Caralisle. I'll cover it up with something." I said thing I was willing to do.

"What is the wrong with mirror dad? Are you afraid she'll break it and cut her veins?" Edward asks. They all choke as Edward smirks at me.

"Edward..." Esme raise her voice.

"No need Esme." My voice is calm, hate has it own benefits in time I speak. I look at Edward with expression dull. "I wouldn't pick to bleed to death." I had bled too much before. "I would take pills. Death is easy the way I would chose." He looked at me and swallowed hard. I don't even need to look at him, he means nothing. In the meantime, Esme went upstairs. To cover mirror I could guess.

"Caralisle, when will my car arrive? I would like to go shopping tomorrow." I talk to Caralisle.

"Tomorrow at eight, but won't you clothes be sent here by Paul?" He remembered I said something about that. But no.

"No, I asked Rose to burn them down." Or give to charity, but I skipped that part. I can sens confusion in them growing. Awkward.

"That was expensive clothes you had, why did you burn it?"

"Money means nothing and you already know answer." Were my last words. Esme was going down as I cross her on last step.

Upstairs, down the hall in the middle of two other rooms there is room I'll be staying in. I walk in hall and I freeze. Someone is behind me, I hear steps, but I don't turn around to see. It must be someone of Cullens. I walk to 'my door' and open them wide. I was about to step in when that someone grabbed my arm. I knock him down. Thud. He? Yes, him. You see, I suspected that this'someone' was one of boys and I don't like to be touched. Esme was to petite for that someone, Caralisle knows that no one can touch me and Edward, he wouldn't follow me. Emmet, it was Emmet. Just his fall could cause thud like that.

"What the hell Bella? You knocked me down!" He growls. I don't even offer him my hand, he stood up and gazed in my eyes. Brown ones, eyes without emotion or joy. Joy? Who knows what that is, raise your hand please.

"I'm not Bella, Emmet and if you ever touch me again you will wish you were never born. That is the way how hard I will beat you up."I said or threated. I'm not so sure.

"You will always be my Bella, girl who captured me with her chocolate eyes, eyes that invite you in and that girl to whom I gave my heart to break, my Bella." He leaned down, only inches away from my face, my lips. He gaze in my eyes so deep that I can feel his shiver. Or was it mine? I step back, hard I swallow.

"Caralisle." I shouted. With echo going through walls, steps I hear. Room I enter, darkness is on. Light I turn, door I close. In the room that's mine, walls are red and bed is blue. Steps are closer and the door swung open. Caralisle I see. He steps in and close the door.

"What is this Caralsle? Death traps?" For his settling I don't wait. Words came out my mouth almost painfully. I look around, pictures I see. Pictures of my parents, Edward, Emmet and me.

"Bells, I think you and boys need some time to adjust on each other again..."I cut him off.

"No Caralisle, I will not take time to adjust. I'm done with being pushed around." My decision is set. I'm done. I'm making another decision, hoping it will be better than last one.

"What does that mean, Isabella dear?" He asks with voice filled with confusion.

"It means that I will move out of here, try to put myself together by being alone." I said with voice which didn't belong to me. It was voice of girl trapped inside.

"You can't do that, you are under my custody now. You have agreed that you will come here, be with family..."

"No Caralisle, I didn't. I had only agreed on moving in Forks, not on living with you and your family" Girl trapped inside me yelled.

"So that is the game you play? Be, but not to be. Go, but not to stay? What are you? Paul told me that you were two-faced because of facade that is on, but this... What are you Bella?!" On 'Bella' I tremble. Did he yell or ask? Just wondering...

"Paul knows nothing, Same as You. You both know nothing and this is enough. Rules are broken. I'll be leaving in morning."

"No, you are not leaving, you are under my custody now. It is not on you to decide."We shout, we scream. Caralise, little lady in me and me. I can sens eavesdroppers in the hall, but that don't bothers me at all. My rules are broken and I'm not pleased. Little lady in me is not pleased too. My little lady is one of remains I have of old an old me. She curses and shakes with desire to stay in. Desire to stay remembered by me. Caralisle screams, telling me that I'm not capable of taking care of plant and not to mention, me.

"Caralisle, I'm still daughter of my father so I am capable of many things." I calm myself down.

"Sure you are. You are capable of screams, burns and cuts along with freaking out." He brings my anger back again.

"I am Isabella Marie Swan, descendant of Charles Swan. I have power people are jealous at. I have lawyers who can contest custody with a blink. So are you sure about that plant?"

"You are Cullen now."He claims. I don't speak, I'm waiting for him.

"So we have fallen that low?" After minute he asks.

"Yes, we did."

Review.

So this chapter have a lots of chit-chat, but I will pay you back for it.

So Edward's pov or not? I take votes for that.

Who want to know what happened to Bella or Charlie? Review, No reviews, no story.

Paul seriously knows nothing, Bella is hiding more secrets than just one and if Paul don't know, Caralisle don't too.

**Let me know what you are thinking.**

**Sorry for mistakes.**

**Wicked Daphne**

**xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter six**

**IT WAS WRONG OF ME**

**EPOV**

_Leave me out with the waste_

_This is not what I do_

_It's the wrong kind of place_

_To be thinking of you_

_…_

I looked at her, at girl whose life I practically destroyed. Bella, Emmet's Bella. I looked at her and she seems to be more broken than she was before, before she was around us. She dated Emmet and I driven them apart. Every look they shared was full of pure love, of something I couldn't understand. I broke her and she had broken Emmet. He was devastated when she left, when she left I lost my brother. It took him to long just to feel alright and now she is back. Back to break him again or ... I hated her before, but now I can't. I can't hate someone who seems so broken. She looks like she will break down every moment. She was girl who enjoyed life, she seems so lifeless now. She is pale as something dead, skinny like she didn't eat in years. Yeah she is beautiful and all that, but she seems unhealthy. She has long brown hair, longer then she had then, she is tall, but she is still tiny towards me or Emmet. Her eyes are brown as chocolate, sweetest one, but they seem so distant. I can't help but stare at her, stare to figure her out, to realize what she is, who she is.

Dad lost in chess and I lost in bet. Dad never lost a game, so now I owe 20 dollars to Emmet. I mean how did she do it? With her, I thought that Dad's moves are predictable. On every move he has done, she responded with eating pawn or queen or king. She herself didn't lose anything, not a single pawn, so she must be really smart. Even Charlie couldn't do that. I mean sure Charlie and dad would play, they would eat each other few pawns and then they couldn't win one against other. Charlie, when he was alive, would always say that Bella is smarter the him. Back then I didn't believe, I always thought that Charlie and Dad are the smartest men on earth, well it looks she overpowered them both and I finally believe. Dad once said that true brain in Swan company is Swan's daughter not Swan. Apparently every business plan was her idea, every cent company earns, every investment company has done, everything succeeded because of her and hers brains. I'm impressed by her, maybe that is why Emmet loved her so much. Jeez, he still loves her.

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That night, night of her return I didn't sleep well. Guilt of what I've done was eating me alive. Dad and Bella had fought about some 'broken' rules. Esme, Emmett and I heard every word and lets just say we were shocked. She actually threaten him, he called her incapable of taking care of herself. He said that she can't take care of plant and well she called herself on Swan name. They yelled each on other and then I heard Cullen name. Bella is Cullen now. Dad adopted her, she is my sister now... When Dad returned downstairs in living room where we were, he said that she has grown out to the Swan's name and that she'll be just as cruel as her father if she is not jet. For the first time in many years I didn't understand my father. What should that mean? I didn't know,but apparently Emmet did. After that Dad even said that in the morning, when Bella's car arrive, we need to sabotage it. Mom didn't agree with dad although she did hear that Bella will go away in morning. Emmet and I have left to Emmet's room few minutes after, so mom and dad could discuss things out. I didn't stay in his room for long. He was to annoying, he seemed to be more broken now, when she didn't hug him than when she left. He was acting like sad puppy. I asked him what did dad mean when he said that Bella grown out to Swan's name and Charlie's cruelty.

"Edward, Charlie may seemed like amazing man and he was before Renee died, but after her death he started living just for his daughter. Dad explained that to me years ago. After her death, he changed, drastically. He lost all trust he had in people, he felt betrayed. When Bella's mom was alive, once she told Charlie that she will make out and she didn't. The way we remember Charlie we just see that amazing man he was to us." Emmet explained to me.

Cruel Charlie Swan? I just can't picture it. Renee died when we were kids, so I don't remember. But the way Emmet explained, it looks like Bella was his everything. He explained that he didn't give second chances to people, he wanted the best, so he became cruel to have it. Emmet also said that after he moved on of Renee's death he became man we remember. Happy, loving and smart Charlie.

When I went to my room, I needed to pass Bella's room. I had urge to stop by and talk to her, but I didn't. I went to bed instead. I couldn't fall asleep right away so I had done some thinking. Mostly about Bella. I mean it must be hard losing Charlie and all that, but... Why did she flinched when Emmet went to hug her? Why did she flinched when he called her Bella? Sure, I understand why she didn't hug me,but him, that was just something different. Actually even weird. I mean come on, they couldn't move hands off each other when they were together. So what changed so much? I don't know and I actually feel guilt. Maybe it is because of me because of things I told her and things I have done to her. I remember I would always find a way to sabotage her. I would tell Jessica to spill some soda on her head or I would trip her and she would embarrass herself. I never understood why she didn't tell any of it to Emmet, but when she broke my arm I did. Girl knew how to be independent, she didn't need a 'big bear' to protect her. Now, I am actually surprised that she didn't kill me in my sleep how bad I behaved. I practically bullied her. I feel embarrassed with myself. Once I saw Bella being beaten by Lauren and Jessica, but I didn't do stop them, well I did, but just when Bella passed out. Sure it was bad, but first there was just Jessica who tried to beat Bella and when Bella managed to fight back, Lauren stepped in. Bella was fighter so she actually broke Lauren's nose and tripped Jessica. I think that Bella would actually fight them off, but when Lauren started bleeding, she couldn't. Bella can't stand blood and that is why she passed out.

Thinking about that I realized that, that was actually like a week before she left. Did I take things too far? I think I did, but Lauren and Jessica were worse. I always knew that Jessica hate Bella because of me and that Lauren hated her because of Emmet. Lauren had a thing for Emmet. Jeez, she still does and that is practically sad. Emmet will never look at her, no matter how much cleavage she'll show or how short her skirt will be, he will always be in 'Bella bubble'.

When I finally fell asleep, my dreams weren't pleasant. I dreamed of Bella and I wish I didn't. My dreams were like history repeating. I dreamed of every bad thing I have done to her and it was bad. I believe I was speaking in sleep because before I woke up I heard myself mumbling 'You are not good enough for Cullen boys' and lets just say I freaked out. Am I really that bad person? Review.

So yeah, I done EPOV... Hope you like it...

**Who want to know why is Bella acting that way and how Charlie died? Anyone?**

**Review**

Sorry for mistakes...

**Wicked Daphne**

**xoxoxo**

**Review and you get chapter seven right away...**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter seven**

**YOU'RE GUILTY IF PEOPLE YOU LOVE DIE BECAUSE OF SHOCK**

**EPOV **

**(Big thank you to all people who are reading this, review, please)**

I was woke up by scream. Bella's scream. She yelled just one word and I knew why. Carlisle, she yelled Carlisle. I assume he was messing with her car. I looked at clock on my wall. Clock said it is half past eight. Yeah now I'm sure he did. I went downstairs in kitchen and found Emmet on window and Mom preparing breakfast. Dad was nowhere to be seen.

"Good morning." I greeted. I gave mom kiss on check and she smiled and pointed to me to sit down.

"So what is happening with Bella?" I asked no one particular.

"Well dad happened, he punctured a tire on Bella's car and he messed with cables." Emmet responded.

"Ugh... So what now?"I asked Emmet who didn't move from window.

"Well that now... She is coming in. Dad!" Emmet actually seemed panicked. Dad came downstairs same time Bella entered house. Bella looks like she didn't sleep whole night. There are black circles visible under her eyes. She isn't wearing make up and I don't see why she should. Her face is beautiful, if she slept she would look better, but she is beautiful. Her hair is tied up in ponytail, she is wearing some ridiculously high black heels with neon pink skirt and button up black long-sleeved shirt. I saw this look at many girls, but Bella... It looked so much better on her than on Tanya or Jessica. I realized that I was staring on Bella with opened mouth, it is surprise that I didn't droll.

"Carlisle, what have you done? Do you think I'm stupid?" Bella said. Bella's face was released any emotion, her eyes and look in her eyes were empty.

"I don't have any idea about what you are talking my dear." Dad tried to convince her, but I think she didn't believe.

She went up stairs and her heels echoed trough our house. We heard doors flung open, few steps forward, few steps backwards and closing doors. We heard steps in hall and steps going downstairs before she appeared. She carried her bags with her. There were just two bags, one big and one she carried. She really needed shopping if she has just that with her. Shit, that means that she actually did tell Rose to burn clothes down. Seriously I don't know who this Bella is. Bella I knew cared about things she owns, she wouldn't burn them, she wouldn't even throw them away. Bella walked to my dad and waited for something with palm stretched out. She probably waited for keys. Yeah, she did. Reluctantly Dad gave her keys. She didn't look back when she got them, she went outside. I looked at Emmet he is confused just as much as I am. I looked at mom, she is pretending nothing is happening, she just all bacon, eggs and ju-hu breakfast. Dad in other hand looked like he is doing lots of thinking.

"She'll come inside when she realizes her car is going nowhere." Dad said after few moments of his thinking.

"Nah, she won't. She has just open hood of her car." That came from Emmet who returned to window. Heck, I didn't even see when he moved away from it.

Dad looked like angry, but not with her. He looked angry with himself. It was just like realization has hit him. He underestimated her and she is just proving him how wrong he is. I was curious about Bella and what she is doing so I walked to stand next to Emmet by window. Outside I saw Bella messing with amazing car. Car is a Ferrari F430 (**AU: Bella's after car in BD**) to be specific. It was strange, her car totally outshined mine silver Volvo. I love my car to death, but that beauty... Sorry Volvo. Me being me, I totally didn't expect Bella to drive that beast and of course I didn't know she is all that in cars. I expected her to drive something less expensive. Yeah I know that she is rich and all that, but she never tried to pin someone on nose that. I watched her fixing car in disbelief. Who is this girl? She has done few things and closed hood of engine. She entered car and tried to start it. She did, kill me she did. She fixed the damn car. Engine, the beast growled and for the first time since she returned I saw her showing emotion. She smiled, she actually smiled. Sure she smiled barely, but damn me she smiled. She turned of engine of beast and walked to flat tire. Emmet and I watched her with our jaws on floor. She replaced tire in record time. Bella placed her bigger bag in trunk and searched for something in smaller bag. She took her mobile out and called someone. My jaw was still on floor when Emmet slammed me in ribs lightly,

"What?" I asked with annoyed voice.

"Read from her lips Eddy." Emmet said.

"Don't call me Eddy." I hissed. I felt Mom's glare on our backs, but I didn't say anything. I concentrated on Bella. She stared talking, it looks like person she called finally answered the call. I watched her lips moving. She didn't say much. Bella's lips were moving perfectly so I could catch with every word. Emmet annoyingly waited for me. Bella hung up and placed mobile in her bag that was when I turned to Emmet.

"Rose, send the Guardian." I repeated her words and lets just say I am totally lost. What the hell is that? **(AU: Do you realize?)**

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After Bella was gone, we sat down and ate breakfast. It was Saturday so we didn't have school and Spring Break officially began yesterday. After breakfast, Dad announced that we will have family meeting in living room. I placed myself in big comfy couch and Emmet for some reason sat down on floor next to me. Mom and dad took sofa for themselves. When we were all placed in living room dad finally started.

"So, I know that you all have questions and that they are mostly about Bella, so start asking..." He said and we started with questions.

"So she is practically sister to me now?" Emmet asked. Of course he did. He wanted Bella to be his girl not sister.

"Well kinda yes and no. Only bound she has with us is our last name nothing more and you heard her yesterday, she is Swan and she can break that bound before you can blink."At this words we kinda flinched, but we did know they are true. I started wondering if Bella is cruel as Charlie was or not.

"Dad, what happened to her? I mean she looks unhealthy, sad and ... lost?" I asked. I knew this will be hard question to answer, but I needed to find out.

"Edward..." He said with pause. "You know that Charlie died and all that and you need to understand that her father is not the only thing she lost..." I sensed that dad don't want to tell us, but I asked for more answers.

"What should that mean?" I asked.

"I um...". Dad didn't want to give me an answer."It is not my story to tell..."

"Dad, just tell us. I mean we two have known her since ever and I even dated her. So, dad please tell us. "Emmet begged.

"Okay ." Dad said and I followed his look at mom who just nodded. "When Bella left, Charlie said that she changed drastically. She started caring about company more than ever before. She made plans and investments that caused Swan's company to jump higher and it all lead Charlie to become one of the most powerful men in country. It is all because of her brains. I didn't believe him, but now when I tested her in chess I see that she is pure genius Charlie claimed she is. She moved to New York and lived with Rosalie Hale, daughter of Charlie's business partners, but she didn't move for her. She moved because of sons of Billy Black, another business partner.." Emmet cut him here.

"What is the point of all of it?" Emmet asked, but dad just returned to story.

"They all met in New York, they are all the same. Rich kids whose parents work together. In New York's High on Manhattan they were what you call poplars, but I won't brag about that. Bella had everything there, more than she needed. She was straight A student in advanced program, she was popular with world by her feet... So I don't understand how and when, but I'm informed that after some time Bella started doing drugs." He took pause to breathe. We all gasped that wasn't expected of her.

"Her friends didn't know, but her boyfriend did." After that sentence I just waited for Emmet.

"She... She replaced me?" He asked with overwhelming sadness.

"Emmet she broke up with you, didn't she?" Dad asked, but he didn't wait for Emmet's answer. " I managed to find out that she dated two boys, but I don't know which knew about drugs, even her friends don't know.. And now I'm asking you to understand that drug was problem, but she had even bigger one. Her boyfriend at that time died." If we were gasping before, we certainly were now. This is bad, I mean really bad.

"How?" Mom asked with tears in her eyes.

"Esme, they would both die. Paul told me, ugh ... Paul is one of Bella's friends." Dad explained fast."So Paul told me that he, her boyfriend cheated on her and she wanted to break up with him. She is real Swan and the Swans don't give the second chances." Cruelty of Charlie passed on his daughter. Well she is cruel, she broke my arm, but that was just me, she hated me.

" So they would both die as I said, but Bella was lucky if you dare to call her lucky. He was driving her home when she told him that she knows she cheated on her. She broke up with him and they had car crash because he has gone mad." "I don't know how he died, instantly or not, but I know that she was in bad condition after car crash. She was in a coma, left side of her body was almost completely crushed. ..The worst part is that she loved him and he almost killed them both. " He stopped there to give us few moments to catch up. I needed to catch up. I could never think of Bella as girlfriend of someone who is not Emmet and if things stayed as they should nothing of this would happen. I mean who knew that she will move away and tumble into someone who could kill her.

"So as father and husband I'm begging you to understand. Edward I saw that you saw how she yanked away when Emmet tried to hug her or when he called her Bella." I nodded. " I'm asking you all to help her adjust. She hates when someone calls her Bella because he called her, she hates red color because it was his favourite, she can't stand when someone touches her even accidentally and more of all that she irrevocably hates herself..."

"Why?" This time word was pushed out of my throat.

"When he died, she started believing that she will never be good enough for anybody." _'You are not good enough for Cullen boys_.' "and her accident was in same as Charlie died."

"Oh my good." Mom gasped."Was it because of?" My mom realized, I realized and Emmet did too, we were just waiting for someone to say it out loud.

**"Bella's father, Charlie Swan died from shock." **Review.

So here it is, Charlie died from shock, but Bella's ex and all that..

**Review**, there is so much things to tell. Let me know what you think.

**Wicked Daphne**

**xoxoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight

Cars and craziness

BPOV

Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle... My mind was repeating constantly. I drove away from their house fast, I mean really fast. I crossed speed limit after two seconds. I'm in Forks less than day and I already hate it. It isn't raining, yet, but rain isn't my problem. Carlisle is. He is underestimating me a lot. What does he think he is? No one can underestimate me. No one because no one dare. There are few people who did, but lets just say they ended badly. Edward for example, he underestimated me and I broke his arm. It was something more than painfully, look at his face was priceless. And if he does that ever again I will gladly break his other arm.

First I was driving without a goal, but then I found purpose in it. I drove to my father's house. My house according to will. When I reached driveway my breath stuck in my throat. Charlie's house, my house looked exactly how I remember it. House of my childhood. Charlie's house was extra big, to big to be alone in it. Yeah, it sucks when you are alone, you want to be curled up in corner and cry, but I can't. I can't leave life to pass without me living it. I know that for some time I'm in zombie state, but that is just how I feel. And feelings aren't important now, I have school to finish, college to apply next year and my father's company to lead. I don't have time to get over stuffs slowly. I need to get over them fast or live with them and wait untill I forget. I can't go fast so I'm waiting now. I'm doing lots of things and usually people think that with this pace you don't have time to think, but they didn't meet me. More things I put on myself to do, faster I'm done with it, so usually I have time to spare. That time is filled with pain, I want to forget, I want to cry, I want to feel something else then pain, I want to love and I want to be free. Free, time will pass and still I will be trapped in past. My utterly painful past. My deadly past.

My family they are all dead. I was only child of Renee and Charlie, I had no cousins no relatives. My grandparents were dead even before I was born. My mom died of stupid cancer that is hereditary. My grandma had it and died from it, my mom had it and she died too. My father in other hand, he is healthy as horse, well was. He would survive anything except me. My beloved father died because of me. I was his everything and he even said that if anything happen to me he would die. Well it was true, he did. My father died from shock. He crashed in tree with full sped in car. It looks like car crash runs in family. What shocked him that much? Drugs, my ex or me being in a coma? Maybe all that above. My father didn't even know of accident before I woke from coma. I mean before the doctors woke me from coma. I woke, they called him when I asked where he is, they put me back to sleep and when I woke he was dead. Nice way to wish your patient good morning.

After I lost everything, after my ex was dead, I became heartless. So now, I... there is no possibility that I'll care for something other than me. Like I have someone. It is the way it supposed to be. My being in zombie state, flinching at every touch, swallowing pills, knocking myself down and all that again. Living life without happily ever after. I'm not always that bad, well most of the time I am, but I'm not showing my weakness to people to whom I don't trust. Like in school, Rose, Jake and Paul would create cage around me and I would put my brave face on. I would spend my time pretending to be something I'm not, pretending to be okay or even happy. Happy? I don't even know what that means. In New York people in school envied on me, like there is something to be jealous at. Money? Or my looks? Oh, no, no and no. They were all jealous at me for being me. Who can understand that kind of people? They were jealous at someone who can't put life together, at fake smile and fake moral. And here I am now, sitting in front of house that I own. Trying to catch breath and step out of car. Would they be at jealous that? At girl who is afraid of her past or would they focus their jealousy at house I own.

I opened the gate with electronic key and garage as well. I took one more breath before I drove in property of Swans. House, my house looks good. Amazing gate, beautiful facade on house, flower beds and pool. I drove in garage and placed my car next other vehicles. Ferrari, Lamborghini, Porsche, Alfa Romeo and lot more of cars and Ducato, Harley Davidson and Honda of motorbikes. Garage was filled with that kinda a stuffs. Fast and expensive cars. My family was obsessed with good cars. Now I am.

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After I made myself step out of car, I finally entered house. Pictures of my family were everywhere. Pictures of dead. I placed my bags in guest room, I will not go in my old room yet. Guest room is just as spectacular as every other room in the house. Queen size beds, walk in closet, big screen TVs, overpraised rugs and silk covers on bed were usual in my house. My bag doesn't contain many clothes, but certainly it contains much more than people think it contains. I do need to do some shopping, but when I picture myself going in changing room which has mirrors, I back away. Yeah, I'm coward, but I don't actually care what I am.

I'll take tour in my house and when I will be doing that I will remove all pictures. First I actually did look who is who on pictures, but when I appeared I have just placed pictures in big box without looking back. When walls were bare, I kinda felt that some kind of weight was removed from my shoulders. That felt good, but not for long, soon enough dear miss headache paid a visit. When she comes I usually just run for pills, but today it was different, it was easier. Easier for the first time in months. I do need a pill, but not so badly as I needed it before. I kinda feel happy, barely, but I do. I'm so glad for that, maybe I will finally start feeling something. Ugh, Isabella Swan you are stupid. I am now mentally laughing at myself. I'm not zombie. Hahaha. I can't be zombie if I feel and I do. I feel hate towards Edward, anger towards Carlisle and trust towards my friends. Now my mental laughing is replaced with smile on my face. I'm smiling and I'm entirely sure that I will make Edward pay for his crimes. Little girl in me is pleased.

I'm walking in garage for my pills. Strange place to hide pills, but in other hand not so. I couldn't take my pills with me in airplane so I hide them. In garage surrounded with all cars and motorbikes, I walk to one car specific. Bugatti Veyron Super Sports is one of the most expensive cars in world and I own it. So if I drive that people can only guess how rich I am. Car was dad's gift for my 17th birthday. This car is my baby and it draws attention everywhere I go. Sometimes it is annoying, but other times attention can be good. Like now for example, I have hidden pills in car and no one cared to look for anything suspicious. They were dazzled by car. Paul drove it in Forks for me, he said it was his pleasure, of course it was. Pills I have aren't prescribed by doctor so I had to sneak them in Forks. No one except me know for them. I didn't even hide them really well, I just glued them under driver seat. How stupid people can be if they didn't check anything about car. Maybe they did, of course they did. They checked if seats are covered with real leather.

I bend down, took pills and here we go. I locked car and garage and walked in the kitchen. I need water to swallow pills, no today is a good day I need just one. I swallowed it easy just as always. In a few minutes I will be relaxed, totally calm. I don't think I hate Forks, since everything went according to my plan I actually love it. Ah, maybe I don't really, when pills starts working you think you are one cloud, you feel better. Today is amazing day for sure, I don't feel any pressure, I'm happy. I'm happy, better, relaxed, calm and ready for everything. I think I need to clean a little bit mess that I caused and mess in this house, so I will do that, but first I will do something else. I don't need to be brunette I am, I will change that. I will not be that same almost anorexic girl I was for some time (Rose was telling me that I will end up being anorexic, so who knows how I really look), neither will I be fake like I was and for sure I'm not going to be same Isabella Swan who was bullied by Edward Cullen and hiswhores. Watch you back Edward Anthony Cullen you are mine now.

I exited my beloved house with bag and walked in garage again. Which car could I take? Ah, I know, I chose Lamborghini. Lamborghini Reventon one of my babies, all cars are my babies now because I own them. This car is amazing just as every other is Swan's garage. While my Bugatti is blue this one beauty of Lamborghini is gold with black details. I opened door upwards and jumped in. This time I'm not angry, I'm calm so I will try not to cross sped limit. My father would be so proud of me. Charlie once told that he wanted to be a cop so it is of big importance to him that I follow rules. I didn't cross speed limit even once in my drive to shop. I needed to buy food and some other stuffs. When I stopped in front of it people were staring at me or my car in disbelief. I leaped out of car easily and felt glances of people on my back. I didn't care, with my hair high in ponytail and pair of hot 6.3 inch black louboutins I entered shop. The moment I did, it was like I entered past. Absolutely nothing changed. Freezers in the back filled with ice creams, meat and frozen veggies and shelves with random stuffs before them. Shopping carts were on left side next to doors. I took one and started filling it with fruit, vegetables, natural juicy and other healthy stuffs. Along with all healthy stuffs, thing for which I actually came here is right in front of me. Hair dye. Why should I be brunette if I can be blond, redhead or something different then brown. **Markus's brown.**

I decided to take my time to choose and I finally decided which one I'll take. I placed it cart and walked to cash register woman. She eyed me curiously and I recognized her. Her name is Sue. Sue Clearwater isn't usually curious, but it looks like she has done exception. I paid, said 'Goodbye' and turned to walk out of shop.

"You are Isabella Swan aren't you?" She asked. I turned to face her. She recognized me too.

"It depends on who is asking, Sue." I joked and walked closer.

"Oh, you remember me? Then you sure are Swan." She said to me with smile.

Sue was nice lady and her daughter Leah and son Seth were my friends so I smiled to her too. She pulled me in hug across cash register and welcomed me to Forks. First time someone was touching me and I didn't flinch. Strange, I thought. We talked for some time and she invited me to diner sometime. After we said our goodbyes, I walked out and found big crowd around my car. Crowd of boys to be specific, group of high school boys was grazing eyes on my Lamborghini. They talked about mafia and illegal ways to get this kind of car. What would they say if I drove myself here with Bugatti? Nevermind. I took keys out of car, keys were electronic of course and pressed unlock button. Boys jerked of really quickly after sound of unlocking, some of them actually freaked out. I couldn't help, but giggle and they heard me. They all looked in my direction and without any hesitation I walked to car so I can put my shopping bags in. Questions were written over their faces and most of them were like ' You own it?', it was definitely fun to watch group of confused boys. They struggled with ask or not, so I made their life easier.

"Yes, I do own it. Do you have any other questions?" They all simply nodded and I waited. Here we come.

"Can we take picture with your car because if we don't no one will believe us." One of boys asked. I recognized him as well. Tyler and next to him Mike, Ben, Eric and some others.

"Which one? Ferrari? Porsche? Bugatti? Or this?" I asked them. They are confused as hell. "Oh, and Tyler, people will believe. Trust me." I said, jumped in car and drove away.

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I am standing in front of the mirror with eyes closed tightly. I kinda have a big problem with mirrors, but that needs to change fast. I swallowed pills before I dyed my hair and I still didn't look how it looks like because I am preparing myself for something bigger. Finally, I will look at myself and try not to freak out. It is about time to find out how exactly I look. Anorexic or not? I pulled cover of mirror and opened my eyes.

_"Haha. Look at that Markus, are you sorry that you are dead now?"_

If someone was watching me now, he would put me in nuthouse right away. I'm talking to dead ex while I am standing in front of mirror. My eyes are brown as always, my skin is pale as always, but there are few changes. My brown hair is now black as blindness, I look taller than I remember I was and I'm not anorexic. I actually have curves. It is always nice to know that you are hot chick and not living skeleton. Well when Rose was talking about anorexia she was probably thinking that if I eat just as little as I eat, I 'll die. I don't have much of curves because I am pretty skinny and I don't look healthy much, but I'm not anorexic for sure.

_"Oh, look at that Isabella you are so stunning, your hair is blacker than a raven in a coal mine. You are not brunette anymore, you are not Markus's Bella anymore."_

_"You don't fit the brown-eyed brunette profile after all."_

_"What can you say?"_

_"Markus."_

_"Markus."_

As continued talking with my dead ex and myself, I started humming his name out. Oh, yeah pills are actually really strong and when they start working for real you are not feeling like you are on cloud, you are. I am here now, barefoot running around the house humming name of damned ex at loud. I may seem crazy as hell, but it is okay. I may seem to be crazy, but it keeps me from going insane. While I'm thinking of I remembered that I need to make call. I look for my bag and pull cellphone out. I pick numbers and wait for a person to answer. I'm working on one of Carlisle conditions.

"Hello Dr. Gerandy on line, what can I do for you?" Person I called answers.

"Hello doctor, Isabella Swan speaking.."

"Isabella Swan? Swan as Charlie Swan? What can I do for you" He asks.

"Yes, but I'm Cullen now also and I believe we have arranged meeting."

**Review.**

So cars and craziness? Last part of all of this is little like IS SHE CRAZY? Well she is not.

**Tell my what are you thinking.**

So who is **Markus?** Review of what you think..

**She have lots of secrets to tell so keep reading, pm me, follow or review.**

Soon.

**Wicked Daphne**

**xoxoxo**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter nine**

**JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I WILL BE BORED**

**EPOV**

Lots of stuffs going on, tell my what are you thinking and review.

I woke up this morning more tired then ever. Today is Monday and spring break is over. I didn't hear or see Bella since she left and I can't stop thinking about her. I was always such a dick to her and I feel ashamed. Things with Emmet are even worse, he can't go over fact that she had boyfriend after him. He is quiet, sad, he doesn't have much appetite and that is just bizarre. Dad worries a lot. He is her legal guardian and he is responsible for her, but she is nowhere to be seen. Mom is trying really hard to help Dad with stress and I hope it will work. Either way tired, depressed or not, I have to go get ready.

I took a shower, I dressed myself and went downstairs go for breakfast. Emmet was already here, finishing his meal. There was plate with food for me too. Pancakes with chocolate syrup. Every other day I would say 'Yummy', but today I wasn't in mood.

"Morning boys." Dad greeted us. He came from his office and sat across me. He was working on some paperwork or something like that.

"Holy shit, Esme!" Dad yelled and cursed. Wow, he didn't do that like in years. I don't remember hearing dad cursing, so what happened. Mom arrived in few moments after that with confused look on her face.

"Esme please look at these papers." Dad said and passed some of the papers to Mom. She sat next to him and started examining them. I saw that Emmet was trying to catch up about what they are talking about, but he was just as lost as I was.

"Unbelievable." "Straight As in advanced program, elective subject which she won't need before college." Mom said.

"Okay, okay. Mom, Dad care to explain?" I asked. This whole thing is actually annoying. Mom and Dad looked at each other for second and then they nodded at Emmet and me.

"We are going over Bella's documents. Certificates from hospital, school and other things." Mom started explaining.

"And..? What is so surprising about that?" Emmet asked with voice full of curiosity.

"In school certificates there are some information about grades and activities after school. Bella had taken every advanced class plus class that she won't need until college. There is the list of her activities like singing, breakdance, ballet, playing instruments, sports and other stuffs." Dad explained to the end.

"Wow." Emmet and I said in same time.

"Did any of you two know that she can play piano, cello, violin and guitar?" Mom asked. I didn't.

"I did, but I just knew about piano. She actually composed one track for me." Emmet said. Wow.

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We left for school after dad muttered something like ' Who is that girl'. We spent our drive to school in silence. I didn't know what could I say, neither did Emmet. It is strange how much people can change. I thought that I know everything about Bella and now it looks like she is a complete stranger. It feels really strange to me and I don't want to know how Emmet is feeling.

We parked in our usual spot and waited for gang to arrive too. We came early, so there isn't many people. Mike and Tyler, guys with who we are usually hanging came and greeted us. They started making jokes and tried to make us laugh. After few terrible jokes, Emmet and me busted out laughing like crazies, totally forgetting about Bella. Ben and Eric arrived five-minute after and started talking about some hot chick and gold Lamborghini when my phone rang.

"Wait a second." I told them.

"Dad what's up?" I answered call after I checked caller's ID.

"Can you go after school to Swan's mansion?" he asks.

"Okay.., but why?" I reply. Why should I go there?

"Dr. Gerandy called, Bella showed up on their go after school and check if she is there. Bye." He sounded a bit calmer then before and I was glad. So she is still here, she didn't go back to New York.

I told Emmet what Dad wanted and told Eric to go on. He told us that they saw that amazing car and were drooling over it when extremely hot girl showed and unlocked it. Mike even added that Tyler wanted to take picture with it and when he asked her that she simply asked with which car. I didn't believe that someone would drive that kind of car here in Forks. There weren't many people who can afford it. I was just telling them that they have thick imagination when I heard loud music and car engine pulling in school driveway.

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me?  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal_

_Help me believe it's not_

_ the real me_

_ Somebody help me tame _

_this animal! _

_This animal this animal_

The way I see it and the way everyone else see it someone is trying to make big entrance and it works. That somebody is driving silver Alfa Romeo 8C Spider with darkened glass so we can't yet see driver. Jasper one of mine and Emmet's friends approached us after he parked his motorbike. Jasper moved here several months ago from New York, his dad works in some company, so he is one of rich kids in Forks. Jasper could get any car he wants, but he is driving his Harley. He probably has car,but he isn't using it.

"Hey." Jasper greeted us and we nodded, we were concentrating on car and driver. "So what, new rich kid arrived or did somebody get lucky?" He joked.

Everybody were staring at car with jaws under them. Music from car finally stopped and driver opened the door. First thing I saw after that were hot nude heels with spikes on pale legs. The driver is she. After heels I saw her completely. Girl is hot, she is wearing flaunting skirt in same color as heels, black leather corset top with few sizes to big black vest and pair of Ray ban sunglasses. This girl is really pale with really dark black hair, but perfect, hot with curves and most amazing make up ever - her smile. Girl locked car and placed keys in bag Chanel bag. Bag, car and shoes louboutins as I see that can mean just one thing - rich kid. She looked around and started walking towards entrance, we were near entrance. As she walked tons of boys howled and whistled behind her.

"Holy shit." Jasper mumbled and I totally know what was he thinking. Girl is sex on two legs and about that legs I already imagined them around my waist. Her lips, oh how bad I want to kiss them, her boobs, her amazing boobs I want them bare pressed on my bare chest. Moans she would make when I'm making her come. I was in some kind of trance as she reached us, I needed to swallow droll of my lust.

"So, Tyler did they believe you?" She asked Tyler personally. Tyler was, I assume lost in his own imagination when she asked him that. So this is girl with that car, but car is different.

"No, they didn't." He said after he calmed down from the excitement that she is talking to him. He smiled at her and she smiled too.

Oh my God, that smile is driving me insane, but I'm not the only one who is completely taken by her presence. I could see every guy in school imagining her naked or something similar to that. While guys were doing that, every girl in school was burning with jealousy. Hell, if I am girl I would be jealous too. Damn, I think I need to impress this girl. This will be easy I always impress girls because I am an irresistible boy. I can have every girl I want. I walked near her and flung my arm over her shoulders.

"Hi, I am Edward Cullen and this is rest of gang." I told her and sent her generous smile.

"Of course you are." She smiled back to me. I was dazzled by her. "But now move your arm before I break it."She threatened and I moved my arm instantly. Jasper and other boys in gang giggled at me.

"Move away Edward, you have girlfriend." Emmet blurted. Did he really need to do that? I wondered, but I saw the way he was looking at her. Ugh, he likes her, a lot.

"Thank you Emmet." She said. How does she know our names? Rest of gang started introducing themselves with generous smiles. All except Jasper and that was strange. Girl and Jasper were looking each other with strange looks on their faces. Both of them were extremely calm and calculated.

"Whitlock." She shot.

"Here we go, Queen Bee of New York's High." He shots back.

"You manwhore."

"You whore." They were insulting each other and we were watching them with high anticipation what will happen next. It was like melodrama with real characters in real life.

"You broke my heart."

"You slept with him."

"You told me to call."

"You did."

"Can I?"

"Yes, you can."

"Jazzie."

From fight that could be enormous, things ended with hugs and kisses. Hot girl ran into Jasper, he lifted her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist and they were kissing each other passionately until someone from gang cleared throat. They pulled away from each other, but barely. Jasper's arm was still around Hot girl's waist. I realized that all my dreams about Hot girl will probably never come true. I am so jealous on Jasper, every guy in school is. Damn you Whitlock. This whole thing attracted lots of attention on our gang, so whole school is staring at us.

"Isabella Marie Swan, girl who captured every dream of mine and dreams of every other guy who met her." Jasper declared. Isabella Marie Swan? Shit. Bella? Every guy in gang gasped and I saw Emmet clenching his fists. I imagined sex with brother's ex and wait a second. How did she change that extremely in two weeks of spring break? Two weeks ago she barely smiled and now smile is all over her face. She didn't even flinch when someone touches her. She removed sunglasses and put them in bag.

"Jasper, I'm Cullen now." She told him and placed kiss on his lips. If my dreams about her weren't broken I would say that they are actually cute together, but I couldn't, my ego was hurt.

"That is the guy with whom you replaced me? Jasper Whitlock?" Emmet snapped at Bella.

"Oh, shut the hell up Emmet you had your opportunity and I am basically sister to you now." For the first time in my life I saw Bella raising voice on Emmet. Shocking.

"Hold a second, Bells." He removed arm from her waist and faced her. "Emmet is your ex?" He questioned.

"Yes, he is." She said and suddenly Jasper turned to place where Emmet and I were standing. "Oh, shit. Jasper don't." She begged him.

He stepped forward and she placed her arm on his elbow and pulled him back. Whole gang expected that Jasper will do something to Emmet, but that wasn't his attention. He placed his palm on her check and stroked it gently. They shared deep gaze before everything went to hell.

"I'm gonna kill him." With this words Jasper attacked me. He punched me in face before Bella was able to hold him back. I fall down and I am certain that this will leave bruise, my check is burning. Bella was holding Jasper who wanted to struggle out of her hold. How is she even able to hold him back? She is so tiny.

"Jasper stop." She told him.

I stood up and Jasper attacked me again. Bella couldn't hold him back obviously. He punched me with anger I never thought he could carry and I punched him too. Our fight would carry on, but someone pulled Jasper back and I punched someone else hard before I was pushed back not, pulled. I recognized Emmet's and Mike's fists squeezing my own. I look at Jasper to see who is holding him and holy shit, I realized I was damned. Jasper was holding Bella not vice versa. I punched her. Emmet obviously saw the same thing I saw because he let go of my fist and punched me in nose himself before he ran to Bella.

Bella's check was red as chili sauce. She wasn't crying as most of girl would, but I felt super bad. I have just punched a girl and to add-on that I punched girl I want so badly. Jasper was hugging her and after him Emmet was too. He was telling her that everything will be alright and she became annoyed with their actions.

"Ow, shut the hell up. I handled the worst than Cullen." She said and took off.

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This day didn't start well, so I didn't even thought that it will end well. I saw Bella in few classes, but barely. She sat as far as possible from me and ignored me. I skipped lunch and sat in library. I felt ashamed. Funny, I was hidden in the same place Bella would hide from me and now I am hiding from her. Jessica and Lauren approached me on their usual basic. Sure I would probably mess with one of them and they would do it willingly, but I wasn't in mood and I am dating Tanya. Tanya is newcomer same as Jasper and they hate each other really deeply. Tanya came only like two months before Jasper and they are barking at each other on daily basic. Tanya and me are dating, well sort of. She knows that I am messing around and that I have her only for one thing which she doesn't want to give me, yet.

When bell for end of last period rang I was in deep shit. We had rugby practice and when I came on field every guy glared on me. Jasper and Emmet didn't come on field yet. They are hanging with other seniors with whom they have classes. As junior I would always came here with other juniors, but they were all glaring at me. What happened with Bella obviously was spread through school. Emmet and Jasper came in with Riley and when they saw me they acted like they didn't.

"So Cullen, I hear you are in deep shit. You punched girl." James came with Laurent and Victoria from nowhere. James is junior. He is the same dick as I am. He is hanging with Laurent and Victoria and I'm hanging with them. He is 'dating' Victoria, girl who I know since she was born. Who knows why they are dating, he mess around. James is newcomer too, but he came in Forks just week after Bella left. He met Laurent first day and I can tell why they became besties. Because of drugs. They are all the same. Vic's dad works in Swan's company, James and Laurent are cousins, they parents own some company, rich kids.

"Hot girl if I might add." Laurent added.

"Damn Cullen, you punched Swan girl who is also your sister now. What would Carlisle say?" Vic added with smirk.

"Alright, stop that. I already feel guilt." I tried to silence them.

"Aww, we will Cullen, don't worry about us. Your trouble is coming." James smirked at me when Victoria said that.

I didn't understand what that means, but I realized quite soon. James disappeared with Vic and Laurent when whistles and fake dog barking filled the field. Bella arrived and she was mad. She was approaching me and this time Jasper tried to stop her, but he gave in. When she came near me she pushed me that hard that I landed on my ass. I stood up, barely hovering over her and she slapped me that hard that I landed on my ass again.

"What did you do Edward?" She asked me with empty voice, voice with which she spoke when she came back.

"With what? With who?" I asked her not even trying to stand up, I knew that I would be on flour if I even tried to stand up.

"If you are trying to make me want break your other arm, don't because I will. So answer me what did you do with letter I left for Emmet?" She asked and threaten. Look on her face was priceless, she looks so damn hot when she is angry. Her eyes were shining with anger. So damn hot. I heard James laughing in background and it almost made me laugh.

"Do you know that you look hot when you are angry?" I asked to provoke her.

She pulled me up, God knows with which strength. She grabbed my arm, spun me around and pined my arm high on my back. She was behind me, pulling my arm higher and higher, high enough to hurt. I almost cried out, but I swallowed pain. I felt her warm breath on my neck and hear her whisper.

"I will tell you little secret. I actually could stop Jasper from attacking you, but I didn't. I have lots of power over people so don't tempt me. You bullied me and now is time for payback. So? What did you do with letter?" She asked again, pulling my arm higher. I cried out little bit and she laughed.

"I burn it down. Happy?" I needed to swallow pain before I even said a word.

"Oh, pretty much Cullen." She smirked.

"You are Cullen too." I replied. My voice was full of pain.

**"Yes, I am, but I am cruel as every other Swan was, so this may hurt just a little." Review.**

**Review, please. Sorry for mistakes.**

**Soon,**

**Wicked Daphne**

**xoxoxo**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter ten**

**IT HURTS**

**BPOV**

This chapter is shorter than last, but that is because of school. Yeah, it is starting all over again. Read and tell me what you think. Review please.

After craziness have taken me, I swallowed more pill and passed out for eight hours. I thought I will be okay because I was happy for few seconds and here we are again. I woke up on cold floor in the kitchen and my head was aching badly. I realized I'm almost naked and my skin is sticky. I wondered why and then I saw spilled juicy next to me. I wasn't okay, yesterday I was, but I swallowed too much pills yesterday to actually count that as happy day. Today, I'm in same zombie state I am usually. I decided that I will take a shower and I did.

Warm water was hitting me brutal and I couldn't take it anymore. Instead of ward I chose cold water for once in my life. The second cold water touched my skin I felt so relaxed, everything changed. For the rest of the day I have done some packing and unpacking. I packed away things that belonged to Charlie and unpacked my clothes. I basically have nothing to wear so I called Rose. She will do some shopping for me and send clothes here.

My body tensed again after few hours, I didn't want to swallow pills again so I went to gym. The personal gym in Swan's house is settled on the third floor along with indoor pool. I ran up stairs and started with exercise. I have done some running, I can run long and fast, I have done some hitting in bag for boxing and I didn't relax. I exercise like this everyday for few months now. Sometimes it helps, but not today. I was even more tense after gym then before, so I took pills, again. I knew it is spring break so I didn't care about school I'll be attending, I have pretty much cared for nothing. Every day I would try to do something to change myself, but in the end I would give in and took pills. Wake up, shower eat, drink, pil, gy, pill and pass out every day for two weeks of spring break until I forced myself to go on meeting with Dr. Gerandy.

Dr. Gerandy is boring as hell, he is trying to do something that no one before him succeeded in. He is trying to make me speak about my feeling. Feelings of mom's death, Charlie's death, Markus's death, and even my almost death. He would speak, I would listen, he would ask questions and I wouldn't answer. Same as always, same as before.

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It is Monday, I didn't sleep. Spring break ended and I must go to school. I took shower, tried to eat something, dressed and took pill to calm down. I have dressed myself nicely. Heels, skirt, corset top, vest, sunglasses and bag. Rose has sent me clothes and I was glad she did, if she didn't who knows what would I wear today. I stood in front of mirror and looked at myself one more time before going in garage. I placed fake smile perfectly on my face. It looks so real, everyone will believe it is real, everyone, but me. I walked in garage and decided to make big entrance today. With silver Alfa Romeo 8C Spider and loud music, Forks's High won't know what has hit her.

I unlocked garage and gate, drove few meters from Swan's mansion and locked everything. I had time to spare, but Ispeeded anyway. I hate slow driving, I would probably follow every rule if Charlie is alive, but he is pushing daisies in his dark grave. I picked some most random song and put it on speakers. I didn't care. I just wanted to make big entrance.

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After incident with Edward, I went to bathroom. My check was red, it didn't hurt bad, but it was red as tomato. In my bag there is always medical power, considering that I have burn on left side of my face, so fixed my face and went for classes. This medical powder is great shit, it covers your burn or scar completely, you almost forget you have it. Classes were boring as hell, I already learned everything in advanced program. Edward was in few classes and he kept staring at me. It was weird, but I think that I just don't care enough to do anything right now. I will start with my payback really soon. He will be in such a pain, I will embarrass him, I'll torture him, I will do everything to make him pay.

When lunchtime came around, Jasper and Emmet waited for me by my locker. Lunch was quite interesting. Emmet had bought enough food to donate and I wasn't even hungry. Jasper kept eyeing me and tried to make me eat, but after five attempts he gave in. During lunch I have learned who is who in Forks's High. At table I was sitting at with Jazz, Em, Tyler, Mike, Ben, Angela, Eric who are populars. Along with Edward and his girlfriend who weren't present at that time. They are gang. Tyler who sat across me has declared that I am now hottest girl and as that I need to know few things. Tyler explained tome that here in school we have whores - Jessica and Lauren basically, populars- gang, people who want to be popular -Jess and Lauren again and players. Players, Tyler explained that here there are only two of that kind and that I need to watch my back from them. When I asked who they are, Emmet told me instead of Tyler.

"My brother the dearest and James Hunter."

Most people in school I know and recognize, but that is not the case with James. Some people have really changed much and some people are all the same. James in other hand isn't in group of people who I know, Jazz told me that he moved after I left Forks and that he is messing with girls since then. Players are players and we all know that and the fact that Edward is one of them isn't surprising. I have always thought of him as terrible person and he became exactly that.

After our little talk, most of gang started talking in pair of two or three and that left me with Emmet. At first it was awkward because we didn't know how to start a conversation each with other, but we got over it. After all, we know each other since ever and we even dated. Our conversation was simple when we started actually talking each with other, but things change fast.

"Bella, why did you leave?" He asked me. I noticed that Emmet changed and I knew it was because of me.

"Emmet, don't call me Bella. I believe Carlisle explained some things to you." He nodded.

"I needed change Emmet. If you think I didn't love you, you are wrong, I did. Heck, I still love you." I tried to explain and his eyes were shining with anticipation. He loves me too.

"Okay... If you did, why did you leave? Why did you leave with no goodbye, without anything so I can contact you?" He asked with so confused look in his eyes that I felt confusion. What? I really am confused.

"Sorry Emmet, but what?" I managed to say. "I left you a letter with goodbye, see you soon, new cell number, e-mail and notes of composition I wrote for you. So, don't blame me. You are the one who didn't contact me, Emmet." Seriously I did blamed him for not calling me or sending e-mail. I waited month and half until I gave in and accepted that he won't call. After that, I moved on.

"What? Which letter?" He seemed to be even more confused than before.

"I left it on your bed." pregnant pause and realization. "You didn't get it?" I asked and my voice cracked.

"No, I didn't. I thought that you moved on." Emmet told me.

"I did, but that was after I waited for your call for month." I inhaled deep breath and shrugged my shoulders. I noticed, Emmet did the same thing. We spent some time thinking after that. I have totally zoned out. I concentrated on everything that could go wrong. It didn't take long for me to realize what have actually happened.

"Emmet, where is Edward?" I asked him firmly. He shrugged with his shoulders and took one long breath.

"I don't know maybe with one of his whores, but we all have football practice after school so he will be there, why?

"Because I left because of him and now I am going to kill him!" I declared and stormed out of cafeteria.

I was cursing him whole way to my locker. I took my books and went in classroom. I was so angry. Edward Cullen that piece of shit has taken letter I left for Emmet and I am hundred percent sure in it. I was so angry and my anger was even growing bigger every second. I needed to relax, soon. I needed pill. I still had two classes to attend before I could kick his ass, so I swallowed pill dry without water. It was harder that way, but I have worked.

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"What did you do Edward?" I asked him when I approached him on field. I was uncontrollably angry with him so I pushed him and he landed on ass.

"With what? With who?" He was playing dummie.

"If you are trying to make me want break your other arm, don't because I will. So answer me what did you do with letter I left for Emmet?" I threated. I noticed that people are staring at me and Edward, but I didn't care, I was too angry to care.

"Do you know that you look hot when you are angry?" He tried to tempt me, but he can't. This is game of my revenge and rules are set by me.

I pulled him up, with strength I was carrying. I grabbed him, swung him, making him tremble before I pined his arm on his back. To do this, I needed to be really close to him and that was disgusting to me, but I wanted him to feel pain.

"I will tell you little secret. I actually could stop Jasper from attacking you, but I didn't. I have lots of power over people so don't tempt me. You bullied me and now is time for payback. So? What did you do with letter?" I have whispered in his ear and I was sure he felt my breath on his bare neck. When I pulled his arm higher, he cried and I couldn't help, but laugh. I heard people in the background laughing too. Some laughs were natural and some were fake as Lauren's new nose. I told him truth. I will get my revenge and I really could stop Jasper, after all he is one who taught me how to fight and I am a good student. Best one.

"I burn it down. Happy?" He declared and I pulled his arm higher, he felt pain immediately. My game, my rules.

"Oh, pretty much Cullen." I smirked at him, this smile was real, not fake.

"You are Cullen too." He replied with voice was full of pain, but it has sounded like he is accusing me of something. I grabbed his arm harder.

"Yes, I am, but I am cruel as every other Swan was, so this may hurt just a little." I said as sound of breaking bones echoed through field. By the sound of 'crack' I assume I have just given him clean-cut. He cried out in pain. I swear I saw tears in corner of his eyes and I let him go. I didn't care and I didn't feel guilt for sure. People who were watching whole scene playing out froze and gasped in same time. Edward was screaming in pain of course. Jasper and Emmet were next to me in seconds, they didn't say anything and they didn't try help Edward, they waited for me to do something. I searched for my cell in pocket of my vest and picked number when cell was placed in my arms.

"Hello Carlisle, _Bella_ speaking."

"_Bella_? What can I do for you?" He asked. He was confused just as I thought he will be.

**"First, don't call me Bella and second call ambulance, Edward has broken his arm.**" I said and hang up. Review.

Sorry for mistakes. Tell me what is on your mind. Yeah, he broken his arm?

Soon,

Wicked Daphne

xoxoxo


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter eleven**

**IT IS TIME WHEN PEOPLE WILL START ASKING YOU FOR TRUTH**

**BPOV**

"Emmet, come with me, Jasper follow." I said to them while Edward was screaming in pain. He was crying too. Everybody watched him. _He brings lots of attention_, I thought to myself. I pulled Emmet who seemed to be in frozen state and Jasper followed me. Before we exited football field, I turned and saw one boy smirking on me. He is tall, but not as Emmet not even as Jasper, hell he isn't tall at all if I wear my heels and I do. He has blue eyes, but not as beautiful as Emmet. His hair is blond, but no as Jasper's, his hair is dirty blond. I didn't recognize him so I walked away, but before I did, I saw whores, Jessica and Lauren rushing to Edward, poor guy.

I still didn't feel any guilt about thing I have just done. I felt pleasure burning inside of me, I have enjoyed hearing Edward's painful cries, my revenge is so sweet and I didn't even start yet... Emmet and Jasper were following me on my feet when I was rushing to parking lot. I entered car and waved for Emmet to come in. He did and I speededout of parking lot in seconds. We reached my oversized house in record time, Jasper was on his motorbike behind us. He is still using that old Harley which I have personally rebuild and that means he still cares for me.

Jasper and me are old friends. Well maybe not old and we were more than friends at one time. Jasper knows everything about me and I about him. When I say everything, I actually mean it. I don't hide anything from Jasper, I don't see a point in it because I don't want to and I can't. Jasper is one of these rare people who always know what is on my mind. He knows what I am thinking, why am I thinking about it, he knows my feelings better than I do. I am grateful for having friend like Jasper. With Jasper I am not afraid of being myself, he gives me strength. I met Jasper Whitlock in New York, he was a mutal friend of Jacob. He was sitting with us at lunch time and we clicked. Of course his good looks couldn't hurt. My relationship with him is built same way as mine with Rose. I trust him with my life and he already proved that I can. Jasper is all that... tall, hot, blond and brown-eyed like me.

After just one week in New York, we became best friends. I told him about Emmet and Edward, my relationship with them, but I have never told him their names, just who they are to me. I described Emmet as person I would die for and Edward as person I could kill. Jasper have always understand and tried to help me when I needed it. For example, he was there for me why I was heartbroken because Emmet never called. He would talk with me with his sexy southern accent, he would joke with me, he would make me smile and in the end he would love me.

Jasper and I started dating after I moved on from Emmet, month and half after moving to New York to be exact. At first, I thought that I was being selfish, I thought that I am using him for my happiness, but no, I was helping him too. Before me, he was dating some crazy chick Maria. He told me that he thought that he loves her, but in the end he realized he was being manipulated so he ended that relationship. I met this chick and she is crazy and her sisters...Nettie and Lucy are even crazier if that is possible. Our relationship was win-win situation. We were hurt and we wanted people who will understand us and love us. We found things we need each in other. We were happy together. With him, it seemed that I was never happy before, not even with my family or even Emmet. Deep, deep down, I always knew that I could be happy with Emmet, but only if his brother wasn't always on my way. My Jasper was big prize in New York, every girl was hitting on him so they were really disappointed when he became mine. My Jasper.

Jasper and I said 'I love you' each other and before we knew it we were together six months. I was living life from fairytale with him and then everything went to hell. Jasper's parents decided to move from New York. His mother hated that city in its core. So Jasper needed to leave, he tried to stay with me, but after even I told him that he belongs to his family he left and I was heartbroken once again. We stayed in contact, but we both agreed that we need to break up.

Day of our break up is something I will never forget. We spent whole day enjoying ourselves, laughing hard and loving hard, we spent that day like there is no tomorrow. We have done everything we wanted to do with each other, we were so happy on our last day. From dawn to dusk tears were forbidden. At midnight we shared our last kiss as couple, break up and went home. In morning, when I woke up, he was already gone and tears were allowed.

I cried, but not because of sadness. I cried of joy, joy for loving great man as Jasper. Next day Jasper and I were long gone history. In school boys were lined up in row just to say 'hi' to me. Boys were asking me out at every corner, even boys who had girlfriends. I can say I loved attention, but other girls didn't love all attention directed on me. They were jealous, they were burning with it and soon enough I discovered how dangerous jealousy can be. After two weeks without boyfriend, new potential guy appeared. Little did I know that he didn't appear now and that he will be my worst nightmare or at least in every bad dream I will ever have. Markus.

I was lost in my thoughts so I didn't notice when I pulled in garage and that Emmet and Jasper were already ogling cars. Few days ago I added one more to my collection. My special car finally arrived. Car that cost a fortune of course just as any other in this garage. This car was actually all checked in way here because most of the people who know what kind of car this is, would think that it's owner is criminal. Even Rose thought that when she first saw it. Her reaction is something you can't possibly forget. This car was parked near our apartment and Rose didn't know that it is mine. She was confused at first and Rose in confused state you don't see pretty often. At first I thought that I will need to hit her, but when she started talking I knew that there is no need. _'For the Mother of God! Why the hell would anybody need car with dual-tone body and glass proof on projectiles!?_'Her reaction would made me fall on my ass or laugh as freak, but I was in zombie state already. Car is the world most safest car ever made, well probably. Amazing car, amazing protection, unneeded probably, but who cares? Mercedes-Benz Guardian S600 Ladies and Gentelmans.

"Isabella, why?" Jasper asked.

"Oh, shut up. This car is one of the cheapest." I tried to joke. I knew what he is thinking. He knows me. It is to simple for him.

"You and me, we know what is this about ." He spoke to me with voice full of knowledge and worry. Well, fuck it.

"Of course we do. You know everything so why even ask?"I actually sounded bitchy, but frankly said I didn't care. I know what he will say and I won't like it.

"So if we do. Why are still all like that... Don't be a shell Iz. Things like that won't happen again." He called me Iz like he always did when we were a thing, but I can't be sure that my horrible past won't repeat and that someone like Markus won't happen again.. So I stayed silent and bent my head down in fake shame. I didn't try to convince him that I have all right to act like I do.

"I know what you are thinking and really things like that won't happen. Shits probably will, but Markus won't." He tried to convince me in things which I should know, but I can't bring myself into believing them. No matter how calm he can be by saying things and name of motherfucker, I will explode. I flinched, I set my head upright and tried to swallow words which I was about to say, but that won't happen I always explode.

"Never I said never. Never bring his name up and what did you do? Do you really need to remind me of that motherfucker? Do you really need to remind me how I destroyed myself? What is the point of all of this? What is it? I was yelling, shaking, but never crying. I don't cry. My knees wanted to fail me, but I didn't let them. I stood harder, I felt my eyes filling with emptiness I am trying to get rid of, but I can't. Jasper said truth, I am shell.

"Stop with that Iz, you know who you are! You need to move on from that! Just stop, I am begging you! It wasn't your fault!" Jasper yelled back at me. He knows that I need to stop destroying myself because slowly I am ending myself. "You were worth. Don't be who they thought you to be. You are worth all trouble in world."

"Jasper, you need to stop flattering me." My voice echoed dull. "After all, I am nothing, I have nothing. I have nobody. I am.."_ I am killer._ In the end I was fighting with myself. My voice almost cracked and I can't show people how week I am.

"You have me." Jasper said and pulled me in tight hug. I hugged him back with all I had. Soon I felt someone else's arms around me.

"You have me too." Emmet whose presence I didn't acknowledge said.

They were here hugging me, hugging killer I am. Saying that they are here for me. For worthless myself they are saying I am not. They are here for girl who is lost and broken, possessed by devil. Lost and sadness are always following me closely, they are always there and now I am just waiting for them. I am waiting for disclosure of their presence with Emmet on my right and Jasper on my right.

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After fight with Jasper if I can even call that fight I came down my senses. My time with Emmet and Jasper went good. Emmet being Emmet popped out few jokes and Jasper told me how he ended here in Forks. When Jazz and I broke up, he moved to Houston so I don't understand how boy from Texas ended in remote spot of Forks. I listened his story closely, I love how he tells stories. His story was amazing as ever so I can say if I held my breath it would be worth suffocation.

At six Esme called Emmet on his cell to ask him where he is. He told her that he is with me and Jasper and she invited us all over. We were driving there and I was wondering what did Edward say to his parents. Esme and Carlisle, lovely people with son in form of demon. If I wasn't afraid of who I am, I would probably stay with them in their house. Yeah, probably, but no. I wouldn't, I don't want anyone as replacement for my parents. My dead family. My mom who I didn't get to know enough to miss and my father whose blood is practically on my hands. _Yeah, I am one hundred percent lovely daughter._ I thought to myself.

If my parents are alive, I am sure that things would end differently. Heck, I said end. I really am ending myself, but when you think of options, you realize how stupid you are even for thinking about them. Even if my mom was alive when I was kid, I would either way become Emmet's girlfriend and person who was bullied by Edward. If she is alive now... she isn't, so no options, end. Esme was in way a mother to me before. She wanted girl and she got Edward instead, lucky her. So she was playing Barbie Bella with me, I didn't need that and I didn't exactly love it, but I sucked it up. She always wanted to teach me how to cook, but I have set boundaries. I know how to cook, but I didn't learn it from Esme, I am pure genius. I can cook any meal you want even now, now when I didn't cook in months, but there is lots of stuffs I didn't do in months, but I still know how to do it. Stuffs like playing piano and other instruments, cooking and breaking bones of Edward, only fun stuffs.

Emmet was driving, I didn't care enough to drive and he seemed pretty enthusiastic about driving Bugatti which he chose to drive. Jasper was on passenger seat and I was on backseat. Jasper called home and told his folks that he will stay with me. I don't know what his mom said, but his dad seemed excited. Jasper's father, Peter adores me. He would always play chess with me. Jasper know how to play too, but after he beats Peter all the time, Peter chose that he will rather lose from Bella Swan than his son. Jazz and I played chess too and he is one of people who are close to beating me one day. Jasper knows me and my actions. I am almost see through to him. When we would play we would play hard, playing with passion we shared and in the end he would always lose. But when we played we never just played, it was more than that. Smiles, kisses and touching involved.

When we made to Cullen property Emmet was all in ' I want car like this' mood and after we entered house his mood shifted. Jasper being Jasper, opened my door on car and held out hand for me. Just like all that times before I took his hand without hesitation and he smiled on me. In driveway next to Carlisle Mercedes there was one more car which looked really familiar. Esme and Carlisle were waiting in living room. I wondered why they said that Jasper needs to come to, but I assume that Edward has a big mouth. We sat down in silence, me being sandwiched between Jazz and Em on couch. Awkward? Oh, God no... Is it awkward being seated between your ex boyfriends? Um... no? Note to sarcasm. Were all buried in silence when we fear whispers and steps. Steps were doubled and that means someone is with Edward. One pair of steps were hard and heavy and other steps seemed light. Heck, he has girl with himself. But, who? Jessica or Lauren? I looked at Jasper, but he tried to ignore my look and I smacked him in ribs lightly. He flinched little, but smiled and mouthed 'watch' in the end.

And here we are, me being enthusiastic about seeing Edward's whore, but covering it with empty look. Steps came closer and I saw Edward and on and only strawberry blond girl. How did she ended up here and why didn't Jasper told me about her? I sent Jasper glare and waited for girl to acknowledge my presence. Oh, she was playing 'hi' to and Mrs. Cullen. What? They probably don't like her. Esme and Carlisle always told people they like to call them be their first names. Strawberry blonde was beautiful, curved and tall, but if you compare her to Rosalie or even me, she is nothing. And now I would rather want Jessica in this room with us. Jesus? Jessica? Oh, yeah, I didn't take any pills lately. Come on Blondie look at me, I was getting impatient with her. Come on, turn you head, see me! But no, she decided to have all chit-chat. Stupid girl. Well if you don't want to turn what useless head you are carrying with you, I need to get your attention. Oh, Edward. For once you are being useful.

"Brother the dearest how is your arm? Feeling well?"I teased. Edward was burning with anger, Emmet and Jasper chuckled and my Blondie finally looked at me. Priceless.

"Bella." She gasped. Oh, yeah. Be in shock bitch, this is one of fists shocks you will get from me. I stood up and walked to her on small distance.

"Hello Tanya. Long time no see." I teased her I wanted to see her fail, but no. Whore ran into me and hugged me so tight. I was disgusted by her.

"Move your hands off of me. Who do you think you are? Jasper?" I told her what she needed to hear and Jasper stood next to me in seconds. Jasper knows how badly I hate her. Tanya removed her filthy hands and I was little frustrated that I didn't get my opportunity to hit her or something.

"You are my friend Bella, my best frie.." I cut her before she finished that sentence. I couldn't listen her lies.

"Oh, please Tanya. Don't flatter yourself because we are far from friends and you know it so.." She didn't replied and I didn't bother. I pulled Jasper with me on couch.

Every one of Cullen family were confused. They didn't know what is happening. Poor guys, don't worry you will learn soon. Review.

So yeah, new chapter. From now on I will updating every Friday, Saturday or Sunday because of school.

Sorry for mistakes and review.

Soon,

Wicked Daphne.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter twelve**

**SPILED TRUTH**

**EPOV**

Tell me what are you thinking about whole chapter and what I did in end. Review or follow, means a lot. Didn't feel like reading over and over while searching for mistakes, so sorry for mistakes, I was tired. And aong with other things this chapter is loner than any other. Listen songs Off the races and Born to die.

_They know each other? How shocking._

My arm was aching, my head was thumping. Bella. It is all because of her. She is reason of all my troubles. Bella was glaring on Tanya, badly. It was strange, I could feel waves of rage coming from Bella and some kind of a fear coming from Tanya and that is something you don't see every day. Tanya is one of that girls who are full of themselves and never doubt, but Tanya was now acting like someone is trying to kill her, like Bella is trying to kill her. There is something on between these two, I am sure. I mean Tanya called Bella her friend and Bella pushed that away. It is odd, but it is probably girl stuff. Who knows what they are thinking. My family didn't want to push them any further, but I could tell that everyone in the room wanted to know what is going on. Well, everyone except Bella, Tanya and ... Jasper?Heck, fucker knows. Mom and Dad looked anxious, Emmet was Emmet, old curious to hell and there is me. Me, standing in the middle of the room and trying to figure if which thing I want more. Know what is going on or painkiller. Well, Bella Bitch, yeah, that is my new nickname for her. So... Bella broke my arm, again. Probably I have deserved that, but fuck it, it hurts.

We were all like that, in silence for about five minutes, when Bella breathed loudly. She was sitting upright on couch with her hands in lap totally sandwiched between Jasper and Emmet. They were kinda crowded on couch, but I could see something different from usual. Bella was sitting little bit closer to Jasper. There wasn't much free space on couch, heckthere was none, but in way she was sitting it was obvious that she feels slanted to Jasper. She began tapping with her foot impatiently and that annoyed me. Her face was empty, her lips were strained in tight flat line and her eyes, her eyes were showing that she is totally zoned out. When tapping became worse, others seemed to notice. Jasper was first who have done something, he placed his hand on Bella's knee in hope he would calm her down. It didn't help so he squeezed her knee lightly. She stopped immediately and her eyes lost emptiness when she looked in Jasper's eyes. If you were watching this exchange, you would see that they have really freaking deep bond. They stared in each other's eyes intensively. Bella left out another loud breath and squeezed Jasper's hand while she mouthed 'Thank you'. Obviously their bond is deeper than ocean.

I couldn't assume that someone like Jasper even know Bella and here we are with Jasper and Bella sitting on my family couch gazing in each other eyes like it is their last. Jasper is fucker, I am positive. He is hanging with us since he came in Forks and Bella was never mentioned. He kept Bella as secret, but we did as well. Bella was taboo to Emmet and me. Girls from school were dying for his attention and all that time he was probably in 'Bella bubble', same as Emmet. I just needed to think about it, sometimes Jasper would just dissappeared when his phone rang and he has gone one time when his phone rang. He disappeared because of Bella he was with her when her father died, but something happened before that. Date of his disappearing was set two weeks before Charlie died, so. What happened? Jasper knows answers.

_Flashback_

_November 16th_

_"Jesus Emmet. Are you planning to eat whole cow or something?" Jasper the new kid joked._

_We were eating our lunch with whole gang by our table. Emmet was having one of his usual eating completions with random boy from school. It was fun to watch. This kind of competition were reminding me on old Emmet. Emmet wasn't acting like himself much since Bella left and this is something Emmet did do to act at least little bit like himself, well for that and he didn't want to be called emo kid. Not like anyone would dare, but still._

_Jasper the new kid became our friend instantly, he is good buddy and he plays football so we hang a lot. He came here from Huston and before Huston he lived in New York, kid moved a lot. He told us that he lived in Huston about two months and that he grew up in New York. It must be hard to leave all behind, but I will never know, I will never move away. Forks isn't big town, but it is big enough for me and every my need. Big enough for my needs, but not for my desire. Only desire I have is long gone and will never be on me to desire._

_"Okay... Bring your best to final. Here goes countdown!" Jasper announunced._

_"10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...0!" Every member of gang counted._

_"Now we will wait for our judges to announce our winner. Judges?" Jasper said with serious voice and turned to Angela and Ben. "Judges, fuck yourselves! Our winner of 24th annual Food games is Emmet Cullen. Cheer up and put your voices up. Congrats to our new/old champion!" Jasper always brought bits of theater here. Gang howled and cheered. Everyone were laughing even Ang and Ben who should be offended in this theatrical piece of Jasper Whitlock, but they didn't play it by script. It was practically ironical because everybody knows that Ben is in love with our only female member of gang, but he never done anything because he is afraid of Emmet. Emmet? Yes, Emmet. Why? Because Ang is his new bff and he is really protective of her. Angela talked to Emmet a lot. They were never romantically involved or anything. It was just, Ang was Bella friend and she helped him pick his mess little._

_"Yeah, I am the winner! Your only winner! I am Emmet Cullen!" Emmet love when people celebrate him. Angela hugged him and he picked her up and placed her on his shoulders like potato bag._

_"Emmet! Put me down." She screamed and laughed in same time, she reminded me so much on Bella then. Bella reaction would be exact._

_Laughs and cheers of all people around made me laugh with them, but one laugh I missed the most. Life with gang was easy, breath and live, life with Jasper was tricky because he doesn't speak about himself much and life with Emmet was complicated, but nothing of all that mattered at that moment. Too bad that didn't last, 30 seconds later laughter was killed by Jasper's phone. His smile melted when he answered phone._

_"Iz?" He asked. I wondered who she or maybe he is, but I never asked and he never told us._

_"Iz calm down.." He spoke with someone who was freaking out at other end of line. "What happened?" I didn't hear anything except crying.._

_"Jesus, Izzy where are you? Call police and ambulance ." Pause. "I will come to you and when I do I will kill that motherfucker.." Pause, cries and panic._

_"No!" Pause._

_"It is not your fault." Pause._

_"Do what I told you to do. Don't pass out. I will come to you." Pause._

_"Izzy? Are you there? Izzy? Do you hear me? Izzy?" Pause._

_"Shit!"_

_End of Flashback_

Her other boyfriend. That happened. Car accident as Dad said to us, death and pain too mixed with cries we heard coming from Jasper's phone. He didn't keep her as secret, he called her differently and I never made connection. Jasper was never in 'Bella bubble', he was in 'Izzy bubble'. It is all about Bella. Eve Jasper was obsessed with her, just like everyone. Mix of bad fate stormed over her. Bella was happy, I did everything to destroy that. Bella and Emmet were together, I drove them apart. Bella lived in Forks, moved away, but left letter. I took letter, Bella moved on. Bella and Jasper were thing, he moved to Huston and later to Forks. Tanya and Bella were friend, Bella hates her now. Bella dated some guy, he died. Bella survived, her father didn't. She lost everything, moved back to Forks.

_Why? Why? Why?_

What are the answers? Bella's fate is unpredictable. Every decision lead to another one. Every decision lead to sadness. Every choice Bella's fate offers ends badly. What is her fate planning now? What will happen in Forks? Millionquestions with only one answer.

Bella. Bella. Bella.

More I think about her, it is more obvious that girl is mystery, but where are answers hidden. Is it Bella's past? Or are all answers in Forks?

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"Will someone say something already?" Bella asked. She was annoyed. She waked us up from our silence nap.

"Bella, I want to speak with you please. I feel ashamed of what I did." That came from Tanya's mouth. Heck she is still here.

"Tanya dear, how many times I need to tell you 'Bella' is for friends and it is okay Tanya." Bella said and sentenormous naturally looking fake friendly smile to Tanya. At first I thought she was being friendly and that she will speak with Tanya. How wrong I was. Bella stood up and walked to Tanya. Tanya's eyes were shining. Bella took Tanya's hand gently in hers. Tanya smiled to Bella.

"You have all rights to feel ashamed." With that everything had fallen in water. Tanya's hopes were destroyed. I thought she will cry. Bella let go of Tanya's hand and stepped away from her.

"Bella..Isabella.." Tanya called for Bella.

"Here we go T, good for you. You are learning, but that won't help you now. You make me sick. I made you who you are and that is how you pay back to me. I have never asked nothing from you. I just wanted friend. I trusted you and you failed me. You... things which you have done are inexcusable. Why? Tanya why?" Bella said with such a hate in her voice that made me shiver.

Bella's eyes were locked on Tanya's. Bella was trying to make Tanya cry. Tanya wanted to hold herself up, but she was losing. I wanted to comfort her. I was closest person to her and even with fact that I didn't like her to much I wanted to help her with handling Bella. I captured her arm. Everyone were looking at Bella and Tanya and on even me God that people who are watching are just family. Tanya had me and obviously Bella had Jasper who materialized by Bella holding her arm by elbow. Bella's fists clenched and I saw what she was looking at. She was looking at joined hands of Tanya and me. She laughed at us. Jasper's pulled her behind, but she doesn't like being pulled back.

"Oh, come on Jazzy. You see the same thing I see." She turned her body to him and seductively blinked.

"Isabella... don't." I didn't understand what she is doing, but if Jasper is begging her not to it must be bad.

"Oh, Jazzy. Don't call me like that. You know it reminds me on my father and you know how badly I miss him." She was shocking her head and it felt like she is lying. I believe she does miss her father, but way she said it, it was like she doesn't. I am sure she even gave Jasper one sad look, but I wasn't able to see it.

"Okay, do it your way, but there is no come back when you once do it." Jasper gave up, trouble is coming.

" Thank you for support Jazzy, you are the best." She said and kissed his check, he just rolled his eyes and then all this act was done. She turned to us with big grin in her face. Well maybe smirk more than grin. I have never seen her with that kind of face, but I am sure Tanya did because she squeezed my hand.

"Please T, it is me, B!" She said directly to Tanya. Look at Bella's face was frightening, I felt shiver again.

"No, no. It is not." Tanya barely said.

"Then what is it?" Bella said with laughter.

"Swan face." Tanya pushed words out of her throat. Is that means cruel face? Probably.

"Correct, but incorrect! Do you want to see real Swan face Tanya? Do you dare?" Words which came from Bella sounded like threats.

"No." Tanya said quietly.

"No? To bad you will see it." She said with one big grin and walked to our kitchen. I looked at Tanya she was on edge. She wanted to cry. We heard water running and in few moments Bella came back with wet paper towels. She handed them to Jasper and turned her back to us.

"Izzy you sure?" Jasper asked uncertainly.

"Always." She nodded to him and he took paper towels from her. I didn't completely see what is happening, but I saw Jasper bringing towels to her face.

"Left side." She said to him.

"I know." Was his reply.

This whole thing seemed so intimate. Every person in the room was uncomfortable. Mom and Dad who were silentsince Bella arrived shared one of their famous ' what the heck is happening ' look, Emmet was confused, he never saw Bella like acting like that. Tanya and I shared pretty much same thoughts. We were wondering what will happen with us. Jasper ran lines with towels on left side of Bella's face. I didn't understand what is happening, no one in the room did. Jasper concentrated a lot in his motions, I could see that from his face. What is happening with Bella, I couldn't tell, girl is mystery. Jasper have drawnfew more lines on few face and then he was done. He kissed her left side and hugged her, like I said intimate much. Bella lifted her head and I saw them sharing one more deep look before she turned to us, never letting go of Jasper's hand.

When she turned, everything stopped. I basically felt like universe is crushing on us. How did this happened? I froze, Tanya gasped and one more time squeezed my hand. Mom and Dad flinched, Emmet did the same. His eyes opened more widely. They popped out. Everybody's eyes popped out with million questions. Why? How? When? Who? There was big red burn on left side of Bella's face. Red burn looked frightening with her pale skin, but it didn't reduce Bella's beauty.

"Enjoying the view T?" Bella asked calmly. Her eyes merged with Tanya's and, then mine.

"Bella?" Tanya gasped.

"Oh, no, no and no Tanya. This is the Swan face." She said while she placed one of frightening smiles which now looked even more frightening with burn. Tanya didn't answer, no one did.

"Well, Swan-Cullen face, but you know its purpose T." She smirked on Tanya badly and Tanya couldn't hold it anymore. Tears started rolling down her checks along with her mascara.

"Sorry T. Am I being cruel? Come here." Bella said with voice that reminded me on act, she opened her arms for Tanya and waited. "Come on T. Give me a hug, I will be nice." Bella said words again with that fake sounding voice. "I don't bite T." Tanya didn't know what to do at first, but she let go of my hand and rushed to Bella. Bella hugged Tanya's crying form and it was strange to see how always little Bella was higher than what I thought is tall, Tanya. They were both wearing heels, but Bella was obviously higher.

"You see Tanya, I am being nice and I don't hate you T." Bella said with voice which I recognized as hers, she didn't lie.

"B... Thank... you.. for ...not... hating me... I deserve it.." Tanya said between her cries.

"Yeah T, you are right you do deserve it." Bella let go of Tanya who froze in place. She smirked. "I don't hate you because I have others to hate, you know T? " Smirk.

"I don't understand... B..?"

"Well, I am sure that Eddy over there can explain you. And yeah, you two really suit together." She finished her sentence with evil smirk. Smirk wasn't sent to Tanya. It was sent over Tanya's face to me.

"Don't call me Eddy." I said directly to her.

"What does that means?" Tanya who was placed between Bella and me asked.

"Oh, Eddy I will call you whatever I like it." She said to me, totally ignoring Tanya.

"Bella, the dearest, you won't."I said to her and she started laughing.

"Jasper.." Laugh. "Do you see it they totally suit together, girl who betrayed me and boy who..." Laugh.

"Boy who what B?" Tanya demanded answer.

"Don't be pushy T and you will get your answer, but before that you need to understand that I don't give second chances and no one tells me what to do. So, ask me politely." Black headed girl said with extremely calm voice. Strange I thought Bella will explode.

"B, please." Tanya begged. Here we go, I will die today.

"Okay, if you are asking so politely I will tell you..."

"Just tell her already, don't play along Izzy!" Jasper cut her. She pouted at him and turned back to Tanya and me.

"Smella." Shit.

"Ugly ducklin." Damn.

"To bad I will never be good enough for Cullen boys." I'm dead. Bella was smirking like crazy and Tanya looked Bella in disbelief. Bella was repeating all things I said to her when I was trying to hurt her.

"T, don't look at me like that." Laugh.

"You are lying B, I don't trust you! You are liar!" Tanya yelled at Bella. Bella's smirk didn't melt down, she grabbed Tanya's arm and spun her around.

"Please T. Facts are working in my favor." She gestured to Mom and Dad. " Esme and Carlisle loving parents." She then she gestured on Emmet and me. "Edward and Emmet." Pause. "Brothers. And I am pretty sure I dated Emmet." Bella said with one more evil smirk. Everything about Bella looks like it is part of some act. Tanya gasped.

"Boy I would die for, boy I could kill and reverse." Tanya said. This is practically scheme of my and Emmet's relationship with Bella and reverse.

"Correct T, you see I don't lie." Bella was obviously done with Tanya, Bella's calm voice became empty, but she wasn't done with me. "This is why you two suit together, you are the same and you both hang with whores. You two made me done some things I will never be able to forgive myself so, I hope you two will rot in hell because I am already rotting in my own personal hell. "I was surprised that Mom didn't say anything about Bella's language, but I let it go. Mom tried not cry and Dad was shocking his head in disapproving. Tanya sent me a death glare and then she punched me in nose, damn this is the second time today. With that Tanya was gone, she ran head over heels away from me. It is probably for the best, but still.

"Sorry Eddy, maybe I was wrong, maybe you two aren't meant each for other." She placed her hand over my shoulder.

When did she approach me? I wanted to shake off her hand, but she removed it before I could do anything. She went back to Jasper who just rolled his eyes. She hugged him and the sat down next to Emmet, Bella sat down between them with big grin of course. I didn't know what will happen now. Waiting for something to happen is worse that not knowing that it will happen.

"Can someone explain me what happened and not just today?" Dad asked, if Bella now opens her mouth I am a dead men.

"Oh, I can and trust me I will be objective." Yeah like I trust her. She will sprinkle me with ashes.

"Go on." Dad said, Mom nodded to Bella.

"Okay so, I and Emmet dated, Edward didn't like it, he told me to break up with him and when I didn't, he started bullying me. He called me names and he sent Jessica and Lauren to beat hell out of me." Then she turned to me. "Oh, yeah Eddy I did see you behind corner." She turned back to my Mom and Dad. "Anyway, I got my revenge on it I broke his arm and left, but before I did leave letter for Emmet. Eddy obviously have some mental problems so he took letter and damned his life forever. In New York I met Jasper we dated, he moved away, I met Markus dated him, Tanya, slut who just left was my friend and she slept with him. Considering I found them doing it there wasn't something she could deny. When I told her I know, she ran head over heels, but with Markus I decided to play a little. I pretended that everything was fabulous and my plan would work if fucker didn't die before I could realize my highly diabolical plan. He was fucker, but I did love him so I guess living half alive was reasonably. We had car accident which ended with one dead body and other being crushed and sporting big scars and burns all over her body. Oh, and being in a coma was really nice, especially when I woke up and people told me that my father died. Poor guy, he had problematical heart and I ended him. Anything else, Carlisle?" She recited her life out like poetry. It was shocking seeing someone speaking about having break up, betrayal and death without tears and being objective. If it was on me to tell anything like that I would probably cry my ass out, I am probably turning in pussy, but I don't care. Bella's life is full of shithappening to her and one part of that shit I am, sadly, but true.

"Come on Eddy, don't look me like that. You don't want to feel sorry for me because if you do I will feel same for you and I don't want that. I want to die hating you. I was forced to come to Forks, but if I am here I will make your life living hell at least, this is my time for payback." I didn't even know I was staring at her when she started talking, but when I did, I was shocked by her God knows which time today.

"Are you crazy?" I asked her. I was annoyed and I wanted to provoke her, but she laughed. My so calledparents eyedme.

"How did you know Eddy? I was told that I am, don't worry your father already placed me in nutshouse, but now I am here." She grinned sweetly and that totally freaked me out. She has just told me that she was placed in mental institution and she is smiling about it. Her voice freaks out too, she told me all that with so truthfully sweet and happy voice. Is she crazy for real?

"What?" Emmet asked angrily.

"Oh, nothing Emmy bear." She squeezed his arm gently and smiled. "I have just told your brother that I was placed in mental institution by your father. Oh, and I forgot to add that I am drug user too." She repeated for Emmet even with fact that she knew that he heard her first time. She even added something. Emmet and Jasper chocked.

"Oh my God, dear. What happened to you? Is she really crazy Carlisle?" Mom opened her mouth for the first time and I could tell it would be better if she didn't.

"Esme, God won't help you. He doesn't even exist. You asked what happened, but I already told you. Your son bullied me, I moved away met another fucker and killed my father. And by the way I am not crazy, I am angry that I let motherfuckers control me." Bella answered to my Mom. How can she speak like that? She speaks about thing totally with no emotion. She tells she is angry, we see highly calm person. We assume she will be sad and she speaks like she just won lottery, so yeah she speaks like she is the most happy girl on planet.

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Bella left with Jasper after that awful conversation finished. Emmet wanted to go with her, but she told him that he belongs to his family. Just like always he has done like she asked, but he didn't speak to me nor to Mom or Dad. He told us that he needs to study. Yeah, right, like we believe him, but we let him be. Mom and Dad have had conversation with me. They took my cellphone, laptop and car. They tried to force Emmet to drive me to school tomorrow, but he declined them, he told them that Bella will come to pick him and that she will let him drive her car. So Dad or Mom will drive me to school every day. How fun. I feel like six year old boy in kindergarten. No offense to six year old boys. I am angry with myself, angry with my family angry with Jess and Lauren, angry with Tanya and most of all angry with Bella. I was tired and I went to bed, I will shower in morning.

Thoughts didn't go easy on me when I lay down. I spent God knows how much time awake. How could I be so stupid back then? What was I thinking? I was destroying Bella and on half way of her destruction I destroyed all that matters to me. I destroyed my brother who won't speak with me, my family who is ashamed of me and Bella for whom I actuallydid care. You have to love sister-in-law and what did I do. I pushed her away, made her move. I don't like this empty Bella, I don't like her cruelty and power she has over people. I don't like that she is strong and independent in same time when she is lost and week. I don't like Bella who is faking, I want real her.

I fell asleep after two o' clock and I dreamed of brown-eyed girl despairing into darkness. I saw Bella being one of cake eaters eating their food with fierce people, being little miss runaway all alone on the road in thin jumper, totally not caring about cutlass sticking out of her chest. I saw her waking up and panicking in cold room of manor near creekwondering what just happened. Standing up and seeing thirteen year old herself watching Flintstones and running out of room worrying about her safety and strange object sticking out of her chest. I saw Bella crying and wiping tears with yellow handkerchief. While she was wiping tears I saw her hair changing color from brown to black. Before I woke up, I saw Snow White version of Bella with hair black as night and lips red as blood running from her huntsman into the wild of dark forest. Nearing the edge of cliff while she speaks with messengers of death, making a deal. Jumping from cliff, reaching for New Moon while she is being pulled by undertow. In the end I saw Bella's lifeless body lying down in Darkness before a dawn.

When I woke up I was totally freaking out. What just happened? I dreamed of Bella and her death and I thought about it. How would that affect me? With Bella one thing is certain, everything is uncertain. A dad placed her in mental institution, she is drug user, she blamed herself for death of her ex and her father nothing is certain. I feel that behind her words truth is hidden in most irrelevant things as she puts them. I'm not calling her a liar, but I am sure that she isn't speaking whole truth. Even with Bella who is mystery to the races, I know I can be positive about few things.

First, Bella and Izzy are same person. Object of everyone's desire is object of my desire too.

Second, there is part of her and I don't know how dominant that part can be. Part of her that wants to see me dead or at least die with indefeasible hate towards me.

**And third, I am unconditonally and irrevocably in love with her**. Review.

I had fun writing this so I hope you like. So we finally know why Edward bullied Bella? Do we? Review and tell me your answer. Tanya and Markus thing? Yeah Tanya is bitch and Markus is dead, but Tanya don't know that yet. Things with Markus aren't done yet. Did car accident even happen? Why did Bella call herself killer in last chapter? Charlie? Review, I would like to hear your theory. Soon.

**Wicked Daphne**

**xoxoxo**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter thriten

I WON'T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU

BPOV

I hope you will like it. You know what you need to do, review or follow, favourite or review it means a lot. So new chapter every weekend, school is kicking me by my butt, so it is hard to find time to do some writing. Tell me whatcha thinking?

'_Please stop, please, please!' My head was yelling, but my mouth remain closed. I couldn't move, but I was certain, I can feel pain. My arms were tied above my head to ceiling. I was practically hanging from ceiling. Rope was cutting its way deep into my skin, leaving blood trail along. My mouth was dry, I was thirsty, but even if he had a good intention to give me sip of water, I wouldn't be able to drink it. Why can't I move?_

_Everything was spinning now, but my vision remained black. It felt like I will drift to sleep any second, but I had just awoken. I didn't know where I am, not for certain. In the room I was, if even it is room, it was cold and damp. Musty, I could tell by smell. Smell was unpleasant, except for musty, I could smell strange smell of salt and iron. Blood, it was blood and I was certain, it was mine. I tried to open my eyes, or move a single finger, but attempts were of no fuckinguse. I was feeling sick, but more than that I was feeling anger and rage. 'I was never more disappointed of myself the way I am now.' I remember I thought. I don't understand how could I be so stupid, I played games and now I am paying for it._

_Slowly, steps were approaching along with voice which was humming out of bore, it was all coming closer to me. Humming stopped, silence was unbearable. I was more afraid of silence than anything else. Sometimes we desire for silence, commotion of it, but silence was never before more deadly. Rough by touch, but gentle by actions, someone's hand touched my sweaty face. My head yelled at me, every cell in my body wanted to escape this horrid touch, but again I couldn't.._

_"I know that you can't move and I know why. "Smirk. "Along with that I know that you are awake, you hear, but you can't see ... You can't move, but you can feel." I could hear him saying to me while he was touching my face. I was disgusted. His fingers traced lines of my face, down to my bare neck and then he traced every line of my body. When his filthy finger came back to my face, I could feel him watching me. He came closer to me, I realized when his scent hit me. He pulled my head upright and sniffed my hair. He inhaled every smell I carried with me, with my presence._

_"Such a waste, but I already now what I will do." He whispered in my ear. He held my face with both hands then._

_"You are in my control now." He told me with husky voice which was by an octave higher than whisper._

_"In few hours, you will be able to move, but don't put your hopes up, you are already mine, by soul and now you will become mine by your body. I will own you."_

_"Now and forever." He said and placed small kiss on my lips. His lips were smooth, kiss was gentle, but possessive. I thought that I will throw up. He walked away then._

_Then he disappeared, he came back eventually of course. I didn't want to understand him. I was trying to fight of every thought about him and what will happen when he comes back. I didn't succeed, every possible bad scenario played in my head. No matter how bad I tried to fight it of, my mind would come back on him. There wasn't possible way in which you can prepare yourself on what will happen. He planned it, he left me here, hanging from ceiling and wondering._

_When he came back,a few minutes later, I knew something is up and that I won't like it. He carried something, not something heavy, I knew by the sound when he dropped that something on floor. His steps were heavier now when he didn't carry anything. His moves were faster, like he is furious with something or someone, me. He came to me once again and I felt his fingers traveling down my body again. He rested his forehead on my own._

_"Bella... My brown-eyed and brown-haired beauty ... My Bella." He was whispering. His voice was so calming, hypnotizing and beautiful. No one would ever believe that someone with such a voice could ever hurt anybody. He spoke like he loves me, caressed my lips, kissed me and touched my eyelid with his thumb. I felt my blood running out my checks. I was afraid of him._

_He then pulled hem of my shirt and strained it. He ripped my shirt roughly from my body. I felt force in his actions. When he pulled shirt to rip it, he pulled me with shirt too. My motionless body swayed forward and backward few times._

_"You are mine Isabella Marie Swan. You are mine." He shouted._

_Line between villain and victim was never thinner. I played games with him. I pretended, I wanted to make him crazy. I thought that I am villain even if I am dealing with someone who can't be put in victim category. I played with Markus. I wanted payback, my sweet revenge. He made me love him, he cheated on me, betrayed my trust. I wanted to break him at any cost. I was ready for everything, I didn't have anything I could lose. I became careless, I thought it was fun, but I was kinda out of luck._

_In the same time I was playing my game I didn't realize that I was toy in someone else's game. Markus was playing with me too. Only, things were different in his game. My game had no rules. His game in other hand had. His game had his rules. Rules I didn't know about. Our games were different in one more way. I wanted to make him crazy and he wanted my lifeless body, to bad for me. To bad I didn't know he was crazy already._

_"Bella, Bella, you need to know that some things were never planned, but they happened and I am sorry for that." He whispered while he was hugging me from behind. His chest was pressed to my skin. I coud feel his heat. His fingers draw circles on my bare stomach. He stayed like that for few moments and then moved away. He picked something and pressed it on my back. I wanted to scream, once again I couldn't. Not only because I couldn't make a sound, I didn't want to give him pleasure of hearing my screams. Thing he pressed was hotter than anything I ever placed in 'hot' category. He pressed it once and again, third time and one more time. He placed hot steel on my back four times. He left his mark, he left a burn._

_"I'm sorry, I never planned on loving you._"

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"No!"

I screamed with all I had in me. I screamed like my life is depending on it. I screamed one word at top of my lungs. One single word I wish I could scream then, when it was happening. I wish that I was able to scream then, but deep inside of me I knew that if I screamed, thenI would be even more disappointed with myself .

"Izzy!" Someone said and shaken me. My scream stopped immediately. Scream would end one way or another, I don't have any oxygen left in my lungs. I opened my eyes widely. I saw Jasper. He looked like he is in pain. I didn't hesitate, I threw myself into his embrace tightly. I squeezed him tightly. He didn't even flinch when he squeezed me back. He knew that I needed it. He knows that I am on edge, he knows that I might fall apart. So, he is holding me tight while I am doing same. I am doing my best not to fall apart.

"It was dream Izzy, it was just a dream." He tried to comfort me.

"No, it wasn't Jasper. It wasn't dream, it was memory." I sobbed without tears.

"Oh, sorry. Bad times again, huh?" He asked me. He was still holding me tight. Our naked bodies didn't move an inch away from each other.

"Yeah." I said with nod. "Where were you? You needed to wake me up, before you go. You know?"

"Sorry." He moved bit away. Our bodies were still 'glued' together even with his movement. He moved just enough that he can look me in my eyes. "You seemed so peaceful. I didn't know that this will happen. I was in the bathroom, getting rid of..." He was sending my apologetic smile when I cut him.

"Jasper, I am sorry too. It isn't your fault. I would scream either way, nightmares are pretty much my daily reality. It is just that, Rose would always wake me up before scariest part and I didn't sleep alone in bed for well ... long before I came here. " I gazed into his eyes deeply and rested my head on his shoulder. "Oh and Jasper?" I asked. My voice transformed from 'dull' voice to some kind of a 'happy' voice. Strange, I know.

"What my dear?" He asked. Poor Jazzy he must be confused with all that.

"You know we already had sex many times before, so condom doesn't bother me." I smiled on him. I told him so many times this thing about condom thing. He smiled too.

"You know, you really shouldn't say these thing in morning, especially not when you are standing here in your naked glory, Princess." Jasper said while his hands traveled down my naked 'glory'. He planted kisses from my jaw down my neck and breast.

"About whose naked 'glory' we are talking about? Major?" I asked him and grabbed his amazing ass. He chuckled little bit when I pulled him even closer to me than he was. I was able to feel his hard 'glory' before, but now I was sure that I am feeling his right 'naked' glory.

"I would say yours, Princess." He planted kiss and lifted me up. Our bare chest were pressed together, my legs were tangled on his back and my ass was placed above his hard 'glory'.

"I need to disagree Major Whitlock. Your 'glory' is outstanding." I said. I did flatter him, but I didn't lie, he and his glory were out standing.

"Only thing in this room that is outstanding is you." Jasper whispered in my ear and I melted. I kissed him passionately. He accepted it and soon enough our bodies met each other more closely when he placed us on California King bed. Soft and smooth black silk covers matched out pale bodies perfectly. It became more perfect when he whispered "You are beautiful."

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After all that 'You are outstanding, beautiful, strong' talk and sexing up, Jasper and I took a shower and decided to go get ready for school. I will might need to clean up bathroom, but it is worth it. Whole bathroom was wet and covered with spilled shampoo. We kinda had a bubble fight and water splashing fight. All the same, same old ourselves, Jasper and me. We often had this kind of fights in New York. Once me being klutz and having to much spilled shampoo on floor, Jasper and I fell into bathtub. Thank God that my NY's bathtub is oversized or else we would hurt ourselves. Yeah thank you for bathtub, but bathtub was filled to top with water and when we fell water shed out in waves. Kinda fun for us and kinda nightmare for Rose and my OCD.

When we were finally done in the bathroom, we dressed up. Jasper wore black jeans with dark blue t-shirt and blue vans. He carried his leather jacket with him. He was handsome as always and ready. I was still in my underwear when he came behind me and draw lines on my back, on place when my big burn was. He kissed my shoulder and put my bra strap on its place. I turned and smiled on him. I saw him ogling me and I didn't think that he is some kind of perv, after all I ogled him too.

"Does it bother you?" He asked. I knew that he is asking about my burn, but I played dumb.

"Your ogling, my burn or fact that I killed someone?" I said sarcastically. He looked in my eyes, he was confused. I would be too. I have practically dropped bomb. "Just kidding Jasper." I told him in the end.

"It actually isn't funny and you know it by the way, but Iz I know you aren't kidding. I am asking about burn. So, does it bother you?" He asked. Nice to know that he doesn't judge and actually understand.

"It does Jasper. I am practically marked ... as his." I said with my head bent down. This kind of conversation usually kills mood.

"What about surgery, you can ask Carlisle about it..." Jasper suggested.

"I could, but I don't want to, he thinks that I'm crazy and I am more comfortable with that than truth."I said and look into Jaspers eyes.

"You are afraid of truth and what will people think, but maybe you are right people are judgy, especially ones to whom nothing bad ever happened." He placed kiss on my forehead and allowed me to hug him. "You have done right thing. If you didn't I would finish it for you." I flinched.

He left so I can dress myself up. I made my way into bathroom and looked at myself in mirror. It was easier now. I felt change in air. I looked at myself closely. I look like Snow White. Along with looking to skinny. I don't look like pile of bones, but I am close to that. I don't know how should I describe myself. My reflection didn't hide anything. Sure I did lstudy myself once before, but I took pills then, so I don't clearly remember what I saw. I still have curves and all that. Myboobs and butt look perfect, but I am thinner. Much more thinner. I was practically naked, except for my pink underwear,lots of skin was showing. I have never had so flat stomach, it looks nice, almost sexy, I have that 'v' on sides, but thoughts about how I got it are unpleasant. I destroyed myself and maybe this is reward. My collarbone is pretty much sticking out. Like it is trying to jump out of my skin. My checks don't look bad, but I remember my checks being fuller. I started doing my make up, covering one of my burns. The one I showed to Cullens yesterday. I brushed my hair. My now black hair reached few inches above my butt. I stole one look at my back. Stupid you can't actually steal something that belongs to you. Never mind, I remove my hair and placed it on side. I wanted to have better look at my back. I turned and looked at nasty burn. It healed nicely, but message of it was still clear. Pain ended, but his mark is here to remind me of it. 'You are mine Isabella Marie Swan. You are mine.' It is certain if you have huge burn shaped like letter M, there is no way you will ever clean blood from your hands. 'Now and forever.'

I changed during a what one year. Huh? It will be one year next week. One week and that means that today is one year anniversary of being beaten up by two shanks. Wonderful isn't it? Jessica and Lauren, I wonder if they picked up on someone else, when I wasn't here. Tanya, maybe? No, my ex friend-bitch wouldn't go down again. Tanya know how to stand up for herself. Well, I did teach her well. And, if she was messing with Edward, then she must be under his wing. Well she was, until yesterday or until she punched him in nose. Poor guy he already got one in nose before that. I wonder with whom will she hang on today. Maybe she is a friend with whores. Well who knows, I certainly don't, but I will find out soon. But, what about Jessica, Lauren and Edward how will I handle them? Edward is not thing of my concern right now, I'll focus on skanks. I want my payback on them, no I need it, but with Edward in other hand, I don't know what to do. Sure I should be more angry and crack rage out on him, but it simply doesn't feel right. Last time when I followed that path, things became ugly and I don't want anything ugly in Forks.

I want peace. I want to live, I want to be alive. I don't want to think about myself as killer, I want to think about myself as person. I don't want to be a tool or toy in games. So I decided; I won't play. I will get little payback on Jessica and Lauren, but I will let Edward alone. Well not alone-alone. He has family and I will try me best for him to keep it. I don't have family by my mistake, but I won't let any one else become like me. Even if it is Edward. I made bad decisions in my-not-long-ago-past and look where that brought me. Emmet, I know that he is not speaking with Edward or that he is planning not to talk with him, but I will talk to Edward and Emmet. I am not important. His family comes first. After all he belongs to family not to me. I will do the very same thing I have done with Jasper. I will push him away and hope he stays away. I and my wicked logic. Logic and me aren't at same page for the most of the time. I always believe that I am making good decision and when it doesn't work out or ends badly, I am screwed. Lets just hope I am doing right thing now.

I finished my work in the bathroom actually pretty soon, but being lost in thoughts made it look like years. I got into walk in wardrobe and picked clothes I will be wearing. One good thing about being rudely rich, you can see your money hanging in your clothes. I picked out black leather jacket, spike studded white pumps and white dress which is black in bust area and has two thick black lines going vertically down my body. It made me look even thinner and breakable, but I didn't care. I know who I am and what I can do. I met with Jasper by the end of stairway, he flattered me and we made our way to garage. For today I chose Porsche 918 Spyder in silver glory. Emmet will like driving it. I lend Jasper the keys and walked to passenger door. Jasper being gentleman, rushed and opened them for me. What a nice boy.

Our drive to Cullen mansion was short. We didn't speak much, we spoke barley and that is the joy of knowing Jasper. With him words are not needed. Silence is comfortable with him, silence isn't deadly. When we reached driveway I could see Emmet waving at us. He was grinning like an idiot and I know he isn't one. Emmet is nice, handsome, tall, smart, but mostly of all he is prank master. When Jasper turned off engine I opened my door and got out of car. I didn't wait forboys to do that, I am completely capable of opening my doors and getting my ass out of car. I stood out on driveway, but seconds later my feet were not on solid ground. Emmet happened. He lifted me up and spuned me like five-year old. I laughed and greeted him.

"Hello Emmy bear." I greeted.

"Hello Bellybeans." He grinned like maniac and kissed my check. Seriously? Bellybeans? From where did that come out? I probably don't want to know.

"So Emmet are you ready for ride?" I asked him sweetly.

"Of course I am. Just give my keys and we can go."

"Actually I need to go in your house for something important I will be back here soon." I said and started walking before he could ask what is so important.

In Forks, Forks being Forks, Cullen's driveway was wet of rain that poured in night. I was glad that my klutz being was long gone and almost forgotten or in case it wasn't I would now deal with my nose being pinned to ground. Yeah, that would make my day. When I neared house I saw Esme through window in kitchen and someone else on window on floor, setting curtains. It is probably Edward, his room is placed there. I didn't ring a bell or knock I just came inside and walked in the kitchen to Esme. I need to speak with her first.

"Esme.." I started. She jumped when she heard me, her head snapped in my way immediately. Shock was written all over her face.

"Be.. Isabella dear. What are you doing here?" She asked. I felt that she is confused and I wanted to make her life easier so I didn't drag preamble for long.

"I came to ask if Edward has a ride to school and if he doesn't then he can ride with us." I spoke openly. I actually tried to be nice.

"Well, that is kinda a nice offer, but why would you do such a thing? I mean yesterday, you broke his arm because you wanted revenge and now you are being sweet?" Yeah, Esme is judgy a lot ... She always speaks her mind out. She doesn't hide what she thinks. Same old Esme, same lady who wanted to replace my mother, same old judgy, but 'perfect' Esme.

"Well, I kinda got my revenge so that is clear and I am not doing this only for myself." I tried to explain her.

"First thing I do understand even though I don't trust you with it..." Like I said, this woman speaks her mind out. "But second thing I don't understand. If you aren't doing that for yourself, for whom are you doing it?" She asked.

"Emmet. I am doing it for Emmet." I told her. She nodded, but frankly said I knew that she didn't understand. "Esme, look. I don't have my family as you know they are all dead, but Emmet has his and I will not let him destroy it. He is angry with Edward and they aren't speaking. So how long you think it will last before one of them do something stupid?" Now she did understand I could tell, but along with that I could tell that she underestimated me like her husband. Maye she is just being overprotective for her family and sees me as threat or something. Yeah, right. This woman can be like that. You just need to get to her good side. Esme didn't answer and I took that as time to go and get him.

I walked out of kitchen, through hall, up stairs and one more hall before I came to his doors. My heels echoed, but when they came in touch with carpet sound of it disappeared. I was never afraid of Edward Cullen. I mean I was sometimes, but one positive thing about that was that with him I learned to fear and fear I got from him now seems so stupid. I was afraid of on arrogant cocky bastard, one harmless, well maybe not, bully. Whole point of all fear tale is that I am not afraid of him now. He is too small to be feared. I smiled to myself before I knocked at his door.

"Edward?" I called.

He opened his door. One arm in cast and other on doorknob. I smiled at him. He was uncomfortable and confused as hell. In the other hand I was so confident with myself and thing I was about to do.

"Can I come in?" I asked him. He blinked few times, his jaw dropped and then he finally nodded.

Strange, it looks like our places switched. He was now one who is afraid, he is the one who looks like victim. How funny. Does that make me a villain? I stepped inside of his cave ... I mean room and smiled once more. I couldn't believe what I am about to do.

I Isabella Marie Swan, ex-girlfriend of Markus Voluri who I personally killed, only child of big boss Charles Swan who I had practically killed, am about to declare peace and shake hands with devil. Maybe our peace will last or maybe it will not. I am not certain. But along with that I am not certain if I can even put Edward in 'Devil' category. After all compared to me he is an angel.

Huh? Yep she killed Markus. What a lovely girl, isn't she? Some of you told me their theories by pm and I am glad you did. You can tell me your theory and I will gladly tell you if you are close or not. Enjoy life, until next weekend. So, Bellybeans is opening up? How did she kill Markus? What actually happened? What games they played? Review.

Sorry for mistake, didn't feel like rereading it all over again...

**Wicked Daphne**

**xoxoxo**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter fourteen**

**HE FREAKS ME OUT**

**BPOV**

More things to dish out, but remember review, favourite or follow, it means a lot.

In million years I have never thought that I will see Edward Cullen confused. Edward who previously let me in his room, was staring at me with strange look. At first he needed few moments to compose himself together. He was shocked by me presence. I looked at him closely, his green eyes were shining beautifully, you could see the soul in them. Well, it looks like I am the only one without soul, strange. His bronze hair was shining under young soon too. I checked him out from head to toe, he was wearing only silky pajama pants with no shirt. How ironic, I gave him these pants for Christmas. I gave one pajama to Emmet too, similar to Edwards, only thing different about them was that Emmet's pajama is midnight blue. Emmet love blue, and he loved it with my skin. I got blue lingerie from Victoria Secret from Emmet, along with few other things. I gave him few more things too, but this is not time to speak about it.

Edward was half naked practically, his stomach or better his abs looked amazing. He isn't buff like Emmet, but he is definitely not for waste. God, what am I thinking. Isabella Swan what are you thinking, not so long ago youfucked Jasper and now you are checking out Edward Cullen aka your ex-boyfriend's brother. God, I would say that I might be crazy, but it is pointless, I already am.

I looked up fast enough so he couldn't realize what I was doing. He didn't realize, he was still in this awkward position and his body was screaming with shock. Um ... Why is he still in pajama exactly?

"Okay... I think that my presence must be surprising, but why are you still in your pajama?" I asked after some time. He swallowed hard, but he didn't answer. He just looked in my eyes and mentally pushed me in his gaze. I looked away. I was shooting holes on his cast and minutes were going into despair. I decided that I won't wait any longer for him so I turned my back to him and walked to door.

"I am in pajama because I can't dress myself with cast." His respose made me stop, I turned to face him and he was just inches away from me. When did he come that close? I didn't hear his steps.

"Need help Edward?" I asked him. What am I doing? I realized that this is zhe first time that I called him Edward in nice situation since I came back to Forks.

"Well, actually I do, considering that you broke my arm, again..." Is he charging me or something?

"Okay ... Cullen. I will now help you since I experience with these things, but I won't pity you. You have deserved more. You probably deserve half of hell I was through, so..." Words were pushed out of my throat, I didn't actually know I was saying them.

"Look Bella ... I am so sorry for everything..." he started and I practically saw red.

"Cullen, do I need to repeat myself? I am not Bella, no one can call me Bella. And, for your information I didn't come here for your apologies. I don't need them." Maybe I sounded angry, but no I was calm. Edward can't make me angry after all, after things he did to me ,I should hate him, but for one strange reason I don't.

"Then why are you here? Isabella?" Asshole asked.

"Well I am here because of Emmet." And then I heard myself. My face didn't show any emotion, but inside it was a mess. How do I sound? I heard my voice and it was empty, lifeless. Did I really let other people control me? Did I let Markus? Yeah, I did. I am sure I did.

Markus made me do few things I would never do if it wasn't for him. It is strange, everything that I have done is still affecting me, even with Markus as Deadman. It is probably guilt. But how? I don't regret killing him. I needed to kill him, if I didn't he would kill me. It was killed to stay alive.

After I talked to Edward about reason I was in his room, I helped him dress. It was bit awkward from his side and I understand why. When I was in similar situation others were dressing me up and that wasn't pleasant. But Edward, he is in a better position, he has just one broken bone, I had a dozen. From ribs to fingers. One broken bone is painful and dozen is even more. It hurts to remember. When I was broken, I couldn't do anything. Rose, Paul or Jacob would wash me and dress me. Normally I would never be ashamed of my body, but look in their eyes, pity was making me miserable. I have never felt more pathetic.

_I have told Edward "If you are too blind to see that your brother now hates you, you don't deserve to have someone like Emmet." As I expected he started defending himself, but there was no need. I didn't need to hear his side of story, pointless. "Emmet now hates you and if you don't do something about it you will lose him. Your family will be drove apart. Do you want that? You should be glad that you have family. And about Emmet, I will do everything that is in my power so he will never have to go through that. He will never lose his family because he loves me. I don't have family so I know how that feels." Edward didn't say anything, he just nodded. Then I helped him with dressing up. I picked jeans and shirt from his bed and helped him out. His skin was so good under my touch, it was soft, but in same time strong. When I was putting his shirt on I felt his abs, they are great abs. Okay, Iz what are you thinking again?_

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When we arrived in school, we had some time to spare. We? Emmet, Jasper Edward and of course, me. Emmet was annoyed by Edwards presence at first, but I told him to pull up sick in his ass. Jasper chuckled little, but Edward didn't know what he could possibly say. Poor guy. I think that everything in this situation is confusing. Emmet and Edward are probably feeling lost because of my actions. I am hot and I am cold, I am yes and I am no, I am in and then I am out, I am up and then I am down. Only Jasper understands me, but for how long?

While we were driving to school Emmet and Jasper were in front and Edward and me were in back. It was definitely one tense drives. When we pulled in school driveway, I tried to open Edward's door and that ended bit awkward. I placed my arm on his thigh and bent over his body so I can open damn door. He got pretty big view on my boobs, I saw his eyes grow bigger. Ogling me, Mr. Cullen? Never mind.

Emmet opened my door and when held out hand for me. I gladly took it and when I did he hugged me tightly and whispered 'Sorry' in my ear. Everybody were staring at us, me. Wow, don't they have a life? Obviously no. Everywhere I turned I could hear whispers or see someone pointing on me. It is just like in New York, so it is not something unusual. If I was Queen in New York, I will be Queen here too. But first, I need to trip someone, bitchqueens. Lauren and Jessica, I am so sorry not, but you are going down today. I scanned parking lot and finally saw them. If that are they, I am pretty sure, but not completely.

Oh, how pretty they are, not. Lauren and Jessica. OMG, they look so fake, ah, they are. Lauren's hair was now platinum blond, not her normal blond. She looks like she could lose some weight and it looks like her nose got anose-job. Well, I did punch her in nose and break it, but even if it healed the best it could, her nose wouldn't look like this. Lauren looked really cheap, she wore light blue mini skirt, with dark blue shirt and blue heels. I think that I might get sick, but in same time I feel sorry for her, she is doing all this for Emmet who adores blue. Yeah, I know that Laurie has thing for Emmet, but he will never have it for her. Even if she paints her whole fake cleavage and cellulite legs in blue and not only her nails. Emmet loves natural things and blue of course, but only with my skin.

And now Jessica. Jessica's hair is same as I remember, but everything else is fake. Nails, hair, butt and boobs. Well not every girl is blessed, but this is too much. Her mini pink skirt was too short and her pink shirt was filled with too much fake cleavage, she has even pink heels. Now I am mentally laughing, but for real I am shocked. I mean, what the hell is wrong with her? Pink is nice color, but I don't know if I will ever again wear it, she totally destroyed pink. It is too much. She looks even worse than Lauren. They both wore more make up then clowns, and they couldn't walk in heels. And, God help me, are they tanned? Seriously? This is over top, where did they get tan in Forks? Bitch, please. I couldn't help but giggle. They were always telling me that I am ugly, but what are they then? Rose would know, after all she is one of most beautiful girls ever. I will take a picture of them and sent it to Rosalie, she will laugh as crazy. HAHA.

"Bellybeans... What is this giggling for?" Emmet asked while he was waving in front of my face. I kinda stared atn bitches, so Emmet turned and saw them. After that he just nodded and started laughing.

"Emmy bear... Can you ...please tell me... Are that Jessica... and Lauren?" Giggles were escaping my mouth between words.

"Yeah, they are.. They have this thing for Edward you know, every day they are worse and worse." Emmet said.

"Emmet are you out of your mind or are you blind? Lauren has a thing for you since kindergarten and the fact that she raped sky for so much blue only proves it."

Emmet then stayed silent for some time, thinking I think. His face looked like he is calculating something. His eyes grown bigger and then he looked at me like someone has shot him. He turned to see Lauren. Lauren saw him and waved him, he turned back to me and he looked paler, thousands time paler. I looked at Edward and Jasper, I wanted some answers, I didn't understand what is happening. Jasper was in seconds next to me and Edward came soon too.

"Emmet, what is happening? Are you okay?"I asked him, panic could be read out of my voice. I looked at Jasper, he tried to calm me down, but he couldn't. "Emmet what is wrong?"

"I slept with her two weeks after you were gone, she told me that her favourite color is blue and that she is better than you." He told me with serious voice. I gasped. He looked in my eyes, but I looked away. This is like cold shower.

I saw red, I was angry. He is no longer mine, but he was then. I waited for month and half just to go out with Jasper and he slept with her just after two weeks.! I turned my gaze back to him, I suddenly I felt sick, something in my stomach turned. If I ever thought that I still love him now I am sure I don't. All love I kept for him melted like cheap ice-cream on sun. I was blinking hysterically, words in my throat were non existing. I thought that it is only question of time before I start crying hysterically, but tears never came. It looks like I am stronger than I thought I am. I looked at Emmet one more time really closely and he looked worried, but not for himself, he looked worried for me. Pity, he feels pity for me. I hate pity even more than cheating, well maybe not, but still. Is every relationship of mine wicked? I thought before I slapped Emmet across face the best I could. His head turned on left when my hand and his face came in contact. Red trace was on his right check immediately. Edward and Jasper stood there in silence, few people around us who saw slap gasped. Emmet was rubbing his check and I was creating holes on his head with my death glare.

"And you ask me with whom I replaced you?" I asked him, I was surprised how calm my voice sounded. I didn't let him answer. But before I even said something, strawberry blond hair was in my view. Tanya. What does she want? I glared at her, and I felt tingling going through me. Tanya pulled me back and hugged me tightly. She felt tingling too. I don't understand why, but I hugged her back. Tightly and words stuckin my throat once again. I missed Tanya so bad, but I can't just forgive and forget, not yet. I pulled myself out of her embrace and looked in her eyes. I gave her ' Thank you, but don't expect anything from me' look. I took deep few breaths and then I walked to Jasper and practically thrown myself in his embrace again. My arm was around his waist and his arm was around my shoulders. Everybody around us were in silence, they were waiting for scene, I do want to give them one, but not one which ends with me sobbing like idiot.

"I fucked with Jasper today ... twice. Once in the bedroom and once in under shower." I said directly to Emmet. I was so damn calm. His face was hilarious, I thought that his eyes will fall out of their holes. Everybody around us heard my sentences. Their faces were written over with shock too. I looked in Jaspers eyes and caught my reflection in them. Well, at least I have him. He didn't replace me, but he could. We broke up, we went on different roads and met again in Forks. Life is strange. Jasper bent down and kissed me. His soft lips seemed to be even more gentle than in morning. Everything felt so right. It was again only us and no one more. I kissed him back with all I had.

"Well, it looks like I am no longer yours Emmet." I said after Jasper and I finished our make out session in front of everybody. I turned around and started walking away when someone grabbed my arm and pulled me backwards. I felt rush of anger pumping through my veins, no one controls me and my actions and people should know it. Now lets see who dared. I turned around and saw ... Emmet of course.

"Don't do this, Bella... don't. Give me chance." He begged. Now I feel pity for him. How low he can go? Obviously really low if he slept with Lauren.

"Don't Bella me. And, after all I can. You destroyed every bond we had and now you should be glad that I can't hate you. Be glad that I don't despise you. I am Swan and Swan's do give second chances." I dug my nails in his arm and forced him to remove it. When he finally did, I walked away with my head up straight and one simple evil grin from ear to ear. I felt everybody's eyes on my back, but I didn't care, not even one cell of my body cared. I am immune to this shit. I am immune to people's shit.

I walked in school and extended my way to closest bathroom. I entered it and there was no one in it. Thank God I thought. I stood in front of not so clean mirror and looked at myself. My grin fitted my face perfectly, everything was perfect. Only, thing which didn't is fact that I didn't cry. I thought that it would be normal if I cried now, but I didn't. I don't remember when was the last time I cried. I wasn't on my dad funeral, so I didn't get chance to cry then, I didn't cry when I found Markus and Tanya.. Last time I cried... was when I killed Markus. Well that probably doesn't count. I cried because I was in pain, I didn't feel mental pain, just physical. Yeah, that doesn't count. So, last time I cried was when Jasper and I broke up, just once and really little. Few tears and sobs, nothing more and half hour later I was laughing like idiot. Strange human I am. It looks like I can't make strong bond with someone. I looked myself one more time in mirror. My reflection was just pure perfection, for the first time I saw real me in mirror. I saw pile of bones with deadly glare and called that me. I saw only thing I am, I saw who I am. I saw myself as Swan. Cruel Swan and I didn' care.

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Early classes went well, I didn't have anyone familiar in them. Well I did, everybody knows everybody in Forks, but thing I thought is that no one with whom I was usually hanging year ago was in my classes. After all I was in advanced program, even in pathetic one like this in Forks. Probably every person now knew that I am back. I heard rumors, lots of spicy rumors. It was much fun. Some people were saying that I was pregnant and that is why I left and while other are much more interested in what happened today with Emmet. Everybody has opinion, but in same time opinion is like ass, everybody has it.

Bell rang and it was time for lunch, I decided that I will now acknowledge my presence to everybody including Laurie and Jessie, especially to them. But first, I need few things from my locker. Books and pills. Pills for now and books for later. Well, screw it. I will leave books here, I don't want them to get messy. When I approached my locker there was someone waiting for me. I didn't recognize him as someone I knew before, but I know who he is.

"Hello Isabella Swan, I am James Hunter, welcome to Forks High!" He welcomed me.

"Seriously? What are you? Welcoming committee?" I asked James with voice filled with sarcasm. He looked confused for seconds, but he brought himself back in seconds.

"Well no. I just came to say ' hello' to new beautiful girl and maybe ask her out.?" He tried, but I am not stupid. All he said, everything is lie. Everybody knows everything about me and I am not 'new'. His actions in other hand were reminding me so badly on someone, but I don't know on who, yet.

"Liar." I said. I won't mold my thought for him.

"I am sorry, but how did you call me?" Oh, please you heard me. One more lie, should I even count more.

"You heard me." I said and he nodded. "So, now I believe it is time for me to tell you that I won't go out with you. I would say I am sorry, but I am not." I told him. I didn't even try to shape my words better, they felt better the way they are,

"Okay, as you wish. But, you will go out with me. Willingly or ..." He didn't finish, I did it for him.

"Not." His eyes jumped to mine. " Is that threat because if it is, I don't buy it."

"Isabella or is it Bella?" He waited for my nod. My nod never came. "You can put it as you want, it is your choice." And with that he walked away.

I didn't look his walk away, but I just know that he turned and looked at me and when I walked away I am sure he looked at me while I was walking away. Something about James didn't feel right. He was mystery. His eyes, blue eyes were like muddy lake. Once lake was clear, but after many secret and lies were poured in, mud from it bottom have raised to top. James freaks me out, for some strange reason.

I walked to cafeteria. I opened double doors widely. Everybody's gazes were on me. How, perfectly I thought. I scanned cafeteria and found Jessy and Laurie. They were eating their carrots. Poor carrots. With everybody looking atme, I walked through line and bought two milks. No one said anything. No one argued about my out of order buying. Jessica's and Lauren's back were turned to me, so they didn't see me. It looks like luck is on my side today along with two milks of course.

"I will not do exercises on cheerleading practice today, I got my new nail yesterday." I heard Jessica said.

I mentally laughed, I would do it at loud, but then my not so undercover cover would be relived. So I just rolled my eyes. Some people around me were looking at me with anticipation. They couldn't wait to see what will I do. Neithercould I. I couldn't wait to see their reactions. I came so close to them. Milk cartons I have opened before. In seconds whole cafeteria was silent. I winked to few people in front of me and then... I raised milks above their heads in same time and poured milk on their heads in same time. Hilarious, they started screaming. Their hair was ruined and their 'outfits' were wet, outfits were see-through now.

"Who do you think you are?" They both screamed in same time. I don't know how they done it, but it brought theatricality.

"Oh, me?" I asked. I was playing shy. I put on my fake worry face, but it didn't last for long. They nodded. "I am so sorry for being such a klutz." I said sarcastically. Then I extended my arm to them. "I am Isabella Marie Swan and you are?" I asked with smile. I was so confident. Their faces fell, but that wasn't only thing that fell. They were angry and they wanted to grab me or something, but when they stood up, their hells came in contact with milk, so they both fell on their asses. I couldn't help. I laughed so hard that my face hurt.

Everybody were laughing and I wanted to do something more. "Please guys, don't laugh on poor girls, it is not their fault that they are clumsy." Jessica's and Lauren's face were red, the wanted to rip my throat out. I let out one breath and then I walked to gang table. People weren't paying attention to me anymore, they were too busy with laughing at Jessie and Laurie. Gang table had few places free, but I sat in Jaspers lap instead. He welcomed me with passionate kiss on which I gladly responded. Someone from gang cleared throat, but I didn't care. When we were done I looked down and played shy, I was biting my bottom lip lightly while Jasper was drawing lines on mine thigh. Perfect time to ask few questions.

"Jasper, what do you know about James Hunter?" Review.

**Sorry for wait… School… Sorry for mistakes.**

**Soon…**

**Wicked Daphne**

**Xoxo**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter fifteen

**NOT EVERYTHING IS GONE WITH WIND**

**EPOV**

So I was wondering what is with S.M. in meadow... Any thoughts? Care to share? I have mine for sure...

Okay read it and review and not only that, read author note afterwards. Am I clear? Good. Sorry for mistakes, highschool is killing me so I don' have time.

"Jasper, what do you know about James Hunter?" Bella asked Jasper.

She didn't care who will hear her asking, she just did. Why, who knows. Something is off with her, I can tell, but what? that is the thing I will need to find out. Everyone by our table turned their heads to her, me included. And Bella there, she was just casually sitting in Jasper's lap. I felt rage coming out of Emmet, but there wasn't anything I could do about it, so I just let I go.

Emmet was angry, truly. He didn't know Bella in form of unforgiving. He did regret fact that he slept with Lauren, but Bella was far-far away from listening his excuses. She moved on, in my eyes. But I believe that if I look more closely situation can appear to be much more complicated, truth can be much more complicated. But maybe certain generalizations can be made. Bella is a Swan, a fact not changed by death of her parents. So maybe this is the main reason for her behavior. She amazes me. I can't understand her, but I can see that even people who are close to her can be just as surprised as I am. For example, Jasper, he didn't have any idea why she is asking him about James. Seriously? Why did she? I don't see any connection between James and her, but maybe I am wrong.

"Why are you asking?" Jasper responded to her words.

"I asked you question Jasper. Do I need to repeat myself?" Her words were that cold that shiver climbed on my spine. How can she be like that?

"No need to be rude, Princess. Ask politely and you have answers." Jasper told her. Is all of this a game? He was serious and he was absolutely playing her game, but now as tool, he was opponent, of course if this even is game. For few things I am sure. Bella and Jasper are equal. They are on same level, on same wicked level I can't understand. They go from theatrical to what? Jasper and Bella are crazies.

"Of course Mayor, now answer my question?" Bella glared on Jasper. Again, her words made me shiver.

"As you wish, Princess?" Okay...? Why are they both so strange? Jasper looked like he will burst out laughing..

"Mayor, Mayor ... I hope you survive." I watched them, everybody by our table and in cafeteria watched them. Bella traced her finger up and down Jasper's jaw, he stared at her like she is the only one he sees, well that is probably truth. He cupped her checks and pulled her down on his lips.

I watched them, everybody did. Bella Swan is no longer Bella. If I ever thought that even a little bit of her remained in, I was wrong. Old Bella was to shy to pull something like that. And what did she do? She pulled it in front of everyone. Emmet couldn't take it so he basically ran away. In process he spilled every soda that was on our table.jealousy that is what he felt, but I felt it too. Bella and Jasper were totally unaware of what is happening. Well they were, spilled drinks splashed them. Bella jumped in Jasper's lap, but it was to late. Her white dress was wet and see-through. Her dress, her wet dress showed her pinky underwear, but she didn't care. She and Jasper who was wet too, just laughed and he whispered something in her ear.

"Nice to know that you still know your lines Princess." Jasper told Bella. Bella smiled. I watched her, I wanted something real from her and I got it. After cruelty, fake kisses and playing victim, I finally saw real Bella and she… she is careless.

"I will never forget them.. you told me you love me after that play." She kissed him. Okay, this is to much.. Old memory?

"I did. And I will never forget that night either." He bent his head in crook of her neck and inhaled deeply. Damn, I would like to sniff her…

"No strawberries?" What kind of question is that.

"No." I saw hers eyes change, it was really strange. Only seconds ago her eyes seemed to be so full of life and now.. they are two empty lakes. People say that our eyes are mirrors of our soul, but I don't see a thing in her eyes. Is she soulless? She can't be, under all this mask and hard core she is still same little Bella.. Is she?

"Izzy, I am sorry... I know I shouldn't let go of you, you were the best thing that happened to me ... God I am so sorry I left you.." For some strange reason Jasper was pouring his soul to Bella. I saw her eyes go soft, she couldn't watch Jasper being sad. And that is deep bond if you ask me. But who is asking?

"Shh... Jasper.. Shhh.." She placed finger on his lips. "You aren't responsible, I told you to go, remember?" She waited for his nod, he nodded. They both looked breakable, one because of other. "There will be more strawberries Jasper, every will remind me of him, but in the end it will stop. Until then there is no end." She kissed him and walked away.

Jasper clenched his fists together and watched her walking away. I saw extreme sadness in his eyes. Things they share are unbreakable. Last I saw Bella, she was walking through cafeterias door. I looked around, everybody was looking at her. Everybody by our table were now having their conversations, so they kinda didn't see and hear this thing with Bella and Jasper. Jasper seemed so worried. And that can mean only one thing, he know whole Bella thing. Only thing different is that he knows everything. He knows what is behind every lie and why lie is even told. I am not accusing Bella of being liar, I just feel like her story is full of holes, something is missing.

Cafeteria was at full swing. Laugh, gossip and too laud bad music. I saw James.. with Laurent and Vicky. I politely as always I waved to them. Vicky waved and smiled politely and Laurent did too, but James didn't even notice me. I asked Laurent with my expression what is happening and he responded in the most strangest way. He mouthed 'Isabella'. I froze, I knew what that means. James wants Bella. I rolled my eyes on Laurent and shifted my view back to cafeteria doors which flung open. Bella. She came back. Obviously she was just gone for changing. She changed from wet dress to another dry dress. This dress was nothing spectacular, but in same time it was. Bella is wearing it. Dress was lilac and made of cotton, but it was tight and it showed everything Bella had to show without being over top. High heels and leather jacket, rock and roll, God I wish this girl is mine, but she isn't.

She walked to our table and sat down next to me, I felt something in stomach, but I pushed it away. She might be sitting next to me, but she is sitting across Jasper too. Again whole cafeteria went silent and she rolled her eyes. I looked around and saw James staring at her heavily. I saw anger and lust in his eyes and it was all projecting at Bella. She placed her hands on table and started tapping.

"So Jasper dear it is time for you to spill your beans out." Well… my woman is direct… Umm.. my? I am pathetic.

"He came from New York week after you..He is player, but he is kinda dating Vicky..anyithing else, darlin'? What draws you to him?" Bold question to ask. But really why?

" It looks like every road from New York leads to Forks now. What happened with Rome? Never mind…Motherfucker waited by my locker, lying and asks me out…" Bella said.

"So what did ya told him? Because he looks angry.." That came out of my mouth.

"He threatened to me and I didn't buy it.." Bella looked at me and was like… 'why are you asking..?'

"Why did he threaten to you?" Jasper asked Bella and she turned to face him.

"Because I said no, of course. Tell me… ah never mind…" Her eyes looked at floor.

"Iz.. It is okay if he freaks you out, he is probably harmless or something, don't worry I'm her…" Jasper tried to comfort her..Is she scared of him?

"You know you have me too…" I told her. Her head snapped in my way immediately. She looked at me with eyes open so widely. I thought that she will say something, but she just turned back to Jasper.

"He does freak me out, but I am not afraid of him.." She told us.

"Then why?" Jasper asked gently.

"He reminds me on someone. His smirk, the way he watches on you, eyes filled with mystery and everything else he does. It is like I saw all of him before." Bella explained.

"Markus." Jasper whispered.

After that conversation ended. Bella nodded and that was it.

By the end of the school, I didn't saw Bella anywhere. She disappeared, but she left keys of car to Jasper. I don't know where is she, but I can guess that she is with Tanya, I didn't saw Tanya in one of our classes so… Jasper and Emmet had practice today so I decided that I will go to Swan's mansion and check up on her. I told Jasper and he told me that is okay, he was worried too. Even if he don't like me now because of things I done to Bella, he trust me enough to go and check on her. As I was up to drive away, he stopped me and told that he'll join me.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As we drove with to mansion, I couldn't help, but feel nervous. I didn't know what to do. I mean I made her life living hell and now I am checking on her? This is mess. One big wicked mindwrecking mess and I am part of it. Jasper parked in driveway and got out of car, I followed. We walked to front doors and Jasper let ourselves in. When we were in we could hear music coming from somewhere in house.

House didn't change much and in same time did. Walls were bare and unwelcoming, I remember walls being covered with all kind of pictures, but mostly family. Parents, grandparents and her. Bella. We followed music and soon enough we were in hall on second floor. No pictures, there were no pictures, all walls are bare. Why did she remove all pictures ? We walked down hall and actually found on picture. picture was laying down on black carpet among pieces of glass. Jasper picked it and showed it to me.

"What does this mean?" I asked as I saw Bella in broken picture?

"No idea man, lets find her."

And we did. We walked in room for fun. That room was on of best second to pool room. At first we didn't see Bella as Bella in person, but we definitely did saw her. We saw her on every flat screen in fun room. And there is plenty of them in here. And every screen showed her singing. Duh?

It's been like this from the start  
One piece after another to make my heart  
You mistake the game for being smart  
Stand here, sell this, and hit your mark

But the sound of the steel  
and the crush, and the grind  
it will scream who am I, to decide my life  
But in time it will die, they'll be nothing left inside  
Just rusted metal that was never even mine  
I would scream, but im just this hollow shell  
Waiting here, begging please  
set me free, so I can feel

HEY

Stop trying to live my life for me  
I need to breathe, i'm not your robot  
Stop telling me i'm a part of the big machine  
Im breaking free, can't you see  
I can't love, I can't speak  
Without somebody else operating me  
You gave me eyes, and now i see  
Im not your robot, i'm just me

All this time, I've been misled  
There was nothing but cross-wires in my head  
I've been taught to think that what I feel doesn't matter at all  
till they say its real  
I would scream, but im just this hollow shell  
Waiting here, begging please  
set me free, so I can feel

HEY

Stop trying to live my life for me  
I need to breathe, i'm not your robot  
Stop telling me im a part of the big machine  
I'm breaking free, can't you see  
I can't love, I can't speak  
Without somebody else operating me  
You gave me eyes, and now i see  
I'm not your robot, i'm just me  
I'm not your robot, i'm just me  
I'm not your robot

I would scream, but im just this hollow shell  
waiting here, begging please  
set me free, so I can feel  
HEY  
Stop trying to live my life for me  
I need to breathe, i'm not your robot  
Stop telling me i'm a part of a big machine  
Im breaking free, can't you see  
I can't love, I can't speak  
Without somebody else operating me  
You gave me eyes, so now i see  
I'm not your robot, i'm just me  
I'm not your robot, i'm just me  
I'm not your robot

"_Markus this is for you. So am I clear ? I know everything and we are fuckingly done. Rot in hell." We watched Bella saying message to camera. We saw Bella blowing kiss and once again saying something. " Blue is so much more my color than red."_

Jasper and I looked each other. This was message for Markus guy in this video and then comes one more and in that video there are multiple videos included and in every we could saw Bella and that Markus fighting. It was strange. This is first time I see how Markus looks and already I see him in his worst. After second video ended, first one started repeating, over and over again.

Jasper and I were in shock. And even in bigger when we started once again looking for Bella. I found her. She was lying on floor and all around here were spilled pills. I called for Jasper and he was in second by her side. He tried to wake her up and when he couldn't he picked her up bridal style and ran with her in bathroom. He placed her in bathtub and splashed her with cold wather. In few seconds she was awake and was really mad.

"Okay Whitlock, I could expect this from Cullen, but from you." She said and made her way out of bathtub. We just stared at her.

"Wait you are now actually mad at me because I splashed you with little water? Come on?" Jasper said, his voice sounded desperate.

"Come to what, I was here in my fucking house and you come… with Cullen. "She glared on me. " And decide to splash me with water." She said.

"Don't fuck with me, I know you drank pills… And I know that last time you did Jacob found you." Jasper said.. Jacob? Ah, Bella's friend.

"He told you that? That mother fucker!" She spat.

"Exactly that motherfucker… who found you passed out. And God knows what would happened if he didn't!" Jasper yelled at Bella.

"Ow pleaes… I would like to see what would you do if you are in my place." She walked out od bathroom, water was making trace on floor. "No, you know what…? I don't. I might be heartless, not might sure. But no one deserve this." She turned her head to us.

"Dammit, you are not heartless. You can feel, you can cry, no heartless person can that.!" Jasper tried to convince her. But she just started laughing.

"And who told you I can cry?" She laughed at him.

"What?" Jasper was shocked, I was too.

"Jasper dearest, do I look like I am capable of crying? I didn't even cry on my father's funeral because I wasn't there. I have nothing to cry for. I don't have anyone to cry for!" She yelled.

"Then what is all this about?" Much to my surprise I asked.

"Oh, shut up Cullen! Both of you don't know a thing! You all know only what I told you!" She yelled at us. First time then I linked my eyes with hers. Her eyes looked creepy. Her eyes were red, but not from crying with dark bags under them. Drug. That pills.

"Isabella stop!" Jasper yelled at her. She just ran down stairs. She didn't listen. We followed her in kitchen, she was taking pills again and Jasper tried to stop her by taking glass filled with water, but she didn't let it go. They both struggled and she pulled glass to herself, but with too much strength. Glass flew out of her arm and to floor.

"Do you see what you done?" Bella spat.

"Oh, please! You are all doing it by yourslef!"Jasper yelled at her.

"Oh, and finally there is someone who is telling it is all me, finally there is someone telling my that it was my fucking fault!" Bella yelled. Is this all game? I don't think so.

"Bella stop." Jasper tried to calm her and himself down.

"Stop telling me what to do. Edward, him, then Carlisle and now you! You all need to stop! I don't care. I want to die. I have nothing worth living for. You all are making me feel caged, under bell made of glass. I don't need you, I don't fuckingly need your protection. I want to die. I don't want to feel sorry for his death. I fuckingly don't want that." Wow. What was that all about?

"Bella calm down. It is all going to be okay." I came near her and told her. She looked at me like I carry some disease.

"Stop telling me that. It will not be okay, nothing around me is okay. I… I…" She looked in my eyes. "Just stop!" She couldn't finish her sentence.

"Iz, stop. You were victim in that. You didn't do it because you wanted, you need to do…"

"Oh, belive me Jasper I did. Never in my life I wanted to do something as bad as then." Bella said and I saw her red eyes filling with emptiness and coldness again.

"What?" Jasper and I said.

"You hear. I wanted to make him crazy I wanted revenge and when I couldn't have it I done things…" Bella said and looked in Jasper's eyes. Jasper who was next to me freaked.

"Line between villan and victim was never thinner and well.. It looks like I crossed it, just few times nothing to worry about." Bella smirked and that freaked me out. Moments ago she was close to breaking apart and now she is smirking at us. My conclusion, drugs.

"Are you listening yourself? It makes you crazy, not him. And listen me now. He was crazy, he wanted you dead and now he is dead and you seem crazy." Jasper told her. "And why didn't you told anyone about all that fights? What the hell where you doing?"

"Oh please. Nothing that comes from your mouth can hurt me. And Jazzy, it was all part of plan. All fight were plotted, well my side. It all happened after I found Marky with my good friend T. Ah, and when I killed him it was him or me. So, I chose obviously, me. Who wouldn't? Oh, no don't answer it. I'm feeling fine in my bubble." She laughed.

"Jasper she isn't talking straight. She is high on something." I told him.

"Eddy, Eddy." She started singing. She ran to me like little girl. Pulling hem of my shirt. "Can you make Jasper go away, he is looking me like he will hurt me and I don't want to get hurt. She looked in my eyes and I believed every word she told me. I totally believed her sad eyes and her scared voice. She sounded so desperate that she actually believed me. I pulled her in hug with my not broken arm. It felt so right. She hugged me back and se her head on me chest, right there were my heart was beating. If she only knew that it beaten for her.

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Jasper knew that she isn't okay, so he left. He would need to go anyway, but this way he was gone even before. From his face I could tell that he was hurt. He scared Bella and ene if he knew that she wasn't herself, he was sad. He took his clothes, helmet, keys and drove away on his Harley. When we couldn't hear motorcycle anymore everything I thought was right was gone in flash. Bella pulled herself out of me arms and started laughing. I didn't understand at first, but when I realized, I couldn't help but laugh with her. She faked it, I don't know how much of it, but I could say much. Maybe everything, maybe she didn't take pills. Maybe she wasn't passed out, maybe she could wake up, maybe she wasn't even 'sleeping', it was all fake.

"It looks like I am not the only one with wicked mind." Bella told me and winked at me.

"I never thought you had wicked mind Bell..s" I told her.

"Oh, don't lie Eddy, I know you did." She looked at me with knowing face and smirked.

"So Isabella, why me?" I asked, but I knew answer. She was so close to me, her face inches from mine and she was getting even closer.

"Why would I tell you if it is so obvious…" She licked her lips. " Some stuffs have gotten old and I am looking for new… stuffs." She licked her lips again.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked her.

"With new stuff?" She asked and I nodded.

"Well in my wicked mind, I plotted some fucking, fucking and more fucking." She blinked few times, looking sweetly at me.

"And who is new stuff?" I asked. She turned her head to away and I wished that she blushed, of course she didn't.

"You." She said and slammed her lips to mine.

Nothing was important anymore, just her and well her body tightly pressed to mine. My damaged arm… what arm? It was her, me and my erection pressed to her. It was kisses, hot kisses, my picking her bridal still and carrying her to closets room with bed. It was us. Me ripping her lavender dress from her, her pulling hem of my shirt over my hed, me unclasping her bra, her pulling down my pants, me throwing her almost naked body in the middle of bed, me hovering over her, her kissing me and touching my lean muscles, me kissing her neck, her breast. It was her pulling her panties down and mine after and it was me thrusting in her, pumping in her. Feeling her, feeling me, us complete. Review.

Yes! I left it here. It is not like it seems and if you read my authors note you will know it. But until then you should bear in mind that there are strange stuffs going through my wicked mind and Bella's of course. Review.

Sorry for mistakes. Shit happens.

Soon,

Wicked Daphne

xoxo


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter sixteen

SOMETIMES

BPOV

Living my life with all I had was part of plan, but my plan was crashed. And now I am here. Broken, under thick façade which is growing old as time passes. Looking over my life I just see mistakes I have done, I see just how wrong I was. I wish I never left hell hole of Forks. I wish that I never fell in love with Emmet… because no matter how badly I love him, even now, if I didn't Edward wouldn't make my life living hell.

I will always wonder why Edward hate me so much. I now that he pointed out that I will never be good enough for Cullen's brothers, but I never played with fire I just wanted Emmet. Am I really so worthless? Worthless enough to make someone want to kill me?

Sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright, but I am actually dying inside. I can't be me, I am afraid of being me. If I tell truth people will judge me and I don't want to be judged. I don't want to cornered with questions, I can't trust anyone, last time I trusted someone, I almost ended dead. I was guarded long enough with guards of my past, but I am not ready to escape them. What is the point of running if you don't know where to run?

I take pills to forget. Forget who I am and I wish that Earth swallows me just as easy as I swallow pills. I wish I am not Swan, I wish that I never met people I love. I wish that I was not born, I wish that my fate was to be born as someone else, not as Isabella Marie Swan. With no matter how much I loved my family and my friends, I wish that I didn't exist. I wish that I am someone else. I wish that I don't hate myself, but I do. I am selfish to wish this, but I can't help it.

Every day, every minute, every second I hate myself even more. I wish that with time that passed I overcame it all, but I don't. I wish I could still be, what I want to, what I said I was, when I met him, When he met me. I can see what everyone believe in. I can see I've got so much to hide. Everything I touch has no meaning. I need something to keep me alive because I couldn't be what he wanted me to be. I was never what people wanted me to be.

I am fading as the world goes by pushing myself down between the lines, but wasting time because I am so tired, watching everyone else get what they want. I have no more patience, I had rules, but they were so wrong. Everybody else, never me. I want fifteen minutes of being me and then I can easily die. I need that minutes. Why can't I get them when I deserve as much as they do? That is my dying wish before the grave..

I should place past into a book, put in everything I ever took. Place my past into a book and burn the pages, let them cook.. I should stood tall, try not to fall I've lived many different lives, been with different people many times. I live my life in bitterness and filled my heart with emptiness. I'm wasted, losing time. I'm a foolish, fragile spine. I want all that is not mine.  
In the darkness I met my creators. And they all agree, that I'm a suffocator.

Now the time is here.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hello Isabella, how are you today?" Dr. Gerandy greeted me when I entered his office.

"Hello Doc, I'm fine. Thanks for asking, what about you?" I said and sat on my usually seat.

"I'm fine, thank you. So Isabella we need to talk, you know? We are having this little talks for a while now,months. And I see progress in you, so this is our last meeting." I didn't know if I am hearing right, so I just stared at him for moment and then finally nodded.

"You didn't expect this I can see. Well I know that you are not over some things and I know that you don't talk about things. I know that we didn't actually talk in core about your problems because you don't want to talk about what happened, but you are fine and most definitely not crazy." He said and winked at me.

"Okay, so you will tell that to Carlisle? I don't think that he will trust me…" I told him.

"He already knows. We talked and he agreed, he saw differences too. So you are ready to go."

"But…" I started.

"No but Isabella. I saw progress. You came here when spring break started and now school is over and you are still here in Forks. There are things with Emmet and Tanya. You saw them as cheaters and now you are on good terms with them. I know that you still love Emmet, so it was probably easier to forgive him, but with Tanya, well that is another story. You thought you hated her, you were betrayed, but you didn't actually blame her for things she done. You overcome it. You accepted Edward in some way although you hate him in a way. But he can calm you down so accept him. You kept so much bitterness in you, anger was burning you and you practically hated everyone." Dr. Gerandy just kept talking and talking.

"So, you are telling me that I am okay?" I asked.

"Exactly. Because you are. In start you seemed so lifeless, you looked to skinny and unhealthy, but now you look so much better although you are still skinny as shit." He laughed.

"I know that you didn't tell everything to me, you didn't tell practically anything. I don't know what are reasons of your behaviour. I don't know why Jasper informed me about pill stash you had. I don't know why Esme is acting like you died and for sure I know that I don't know why is Edward actually caring for you. He made your life hell and now he is always coming here after you are gone and asking about progress…"

"He is?" I asked. I was shocked.

"Yes, but we will not talk about that now. Isabella the thing is that you amaze me. You put your stufs together without breakdown, with no tears and help of someone." He told me with sincere look coming out of his blue eyes.

"Well you can't possible say that. I had your help, Jasper helped, Tanya, Emmet and even Edward. So you can't say that I had no help." I said.

"Isabella people can't help you if they don't know the problem. Sure Jasper does know something, but you didn't allow him to help. So it was all you. And now in the end, when our time together is running I have just one question to ask. If you allow?"

"Of course, ask."

"Who do you blame?And why?" He asked.

"Myself, it was my fault." I said same second question popped out.

"Liar, you don't. You blame Edward. He ran you out of Forks, he builded you before that, he made you feel worthless. " He tried to convince me.

"I blame him for part that is most unimportant. Everything else is on me."

"And what did you do Isabella?" He asked.

"We are running out of time" I said as I glanced on clock. "But I will tell you."

"So?" He asked.

"I killed Marcus." I said and walked to door. Before I opened them I glanced at him and said "Oh, Dr. Gerandy call me Bella." And I was gone.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Things really did change in few months I was in Forks. I didn't need my pills and I didn't have nightmares anymore and gradually I feel so much better. I don't have nightmares since Edward slept one night in my house after I passed out. I totally faked passing out when he came with Jasper and my act was terrific. And that is how I got rid of Jasper, I feel bit sorry for him, but I saw pity in his eyes when he was looking at me. And Edward was just there and when I passed for real, he stayed with me all night and I was waken up in his hold. It was bit strange. I mean guy who hated me actually took care of me. I couldn't get out of his hold without waking him up and when I woke him up he was disappointed because something. It was probably about dreams never come true and so on.

Tanya and I came on good terms. We didn't push things on and we didn't talk about past. So we were friends again although we didn't hang all the time. Most of time I had for myself. I didn't like people too much. Mostly not the Cullens. Once a week I had to go to their place and eat diner with them and they would always give me strange looks. I was skinny as shit, but I didn't feel ever hungry. I didn't feel like eating mostly.

Emmet and I came to good terms to. I didn't exactly forgave him, but we are good. I still love him, but he will go to college soon, so I don't want to start things now. Things with Jasper were okay too. He wasn't angry on me because of my behavior. Jasper was helpful, we talked a lot. We didn't have any sex or shared kisses. We grown apart. After our talk we realized that we only loved each other because we felt like we have to. He felt that he own me because I helped him after Maria and I felt same after Emmet. So we realized that we weren't really in love, we were in love with love, but not each with other. It was strange, when we were together, it was like we were ment to be and now… We are whole different worlds.

Esme, we she gave me the most trouble. She eyed me like I murdered someone, well heck I did, but she doesn't know that. So she was always giving me strange looks and when she didn't she was trying hard to become my new mother. And that was wrong. Having diner with Cullen family was pain in the ass. Carlisle would always brought up his conversation with Dr. Gerandy and that was not nice. I mean dishing dirty underwear while having dinner. Playing low Dr. Cullen.

School was okay, I mean I was like two steps ahead of all people and even some teachers. I got straight A-s, of course. Lauren and Jessica were pain in the ass, but I got me revenge on them and I swear I was not nice. It looks like serving revenge cold is much more affective than serving it hot. I know, I got burn. And there is James he was annoying brat and manwhore. He would always wave or wink at me and blow me kisses. And that is just creepy.

James is like Edward, he just didn't bullied me. Well he did, but not like Edward, James was always threatening me and saying that I will be his. Possessive much, yes. He was painfully reminding me of Marcus, he was like his copy or something like that. Every morning, when I came to school he would park his car next to mine, came to great me and then disappear, but not for long, I would find him by my locker of course. Annoying brat, like I said.

Victoria who was my best friend years back didn't speak to me because of James. What a bitch. I mean that redhead was my friend and now when her man is chasing me against my liking, she totally crossed my name from friend list.

Angela and I became great friends once again. I didn't tell her my secrets or past and she was okay with that. She didn't push things unlike me. I totally pushed Ben to finally ask her out.

Ben was great pal. We talked and played pool at Forks Grill. Only he knew how to play it and that is shame. I mean having pool in Grill and not playing it? Strange people. So, Ben and I played it every Friday. I won every match, but we still played. It was great fun being around Angela and Ben. They didn't pry. Angela was head cheerleader, so she always cheered for us. And her being that helped with Laury and Jessy, she threaten that she will kick them out of squad. I didn't tell her to do that, but it came really useful.

Rest od gang was fun too. I had lots of fun with them. Mike was like sad puppy sometimes, Tyler was obsessed with me just like ever other male in Forks High. Eric was bit too smart for his well-being, he had great grades, but even the best can stumble with math. So I helped him. He didn't look like geek, he was hot just like the rest of gang, he was smart and athlete.

So with gang,the Cullens and dr. Gerandy school year just passed by. Jasper and Emmet graduated. I was Emmet date on prom, lucky me. He became Homecoming King and I became Queen even with the fact that I wasn't senior. Lauren and Jessica wanted to rip my throat out, but Angela sent them nice glare.

I talked with gang from New York and they promised to come to Forks. Rose was excited to see me so she sgreed before I even asked and Paul we'll either way he need to come. Why? I found out how I ended in Forks. I talked with Billy and he asked me why I changed my mind about my adoption. Billy told me that pappers were ready, but Paul said that I called it off. And that was lie. I didn't do that, I agreed to stay with Billy, that was plan, but Paul thought that it would be better if I am out of New York. So Paul called Carlisle and here I am. In hell hole. I was angry, I felt like no one wants me, I felt so much unneed. I wanted to die, I didn't wish that in long time. Last time I did, I checked all possible ways of dying._ For humans, a little poison, a dagger through the heart... so many different options. It is so easy and I am one of them, just a human who wanted to die. I chosed my way, pills. I swallowed them so easily. I felt becoming weake and weaker. I became sleepy and than I saw my life spining. My eyes were laying to me, my vision became blur. I saw my mistakes and how I am letting things go. I decided to try to fight it of, but I couldn't. I tried to call ambulance, but I passed out and waked up in hospital. Jacob found me and that is story about my second almost death._

Today it was good day, I woke with smile, trow up, went to gym, meeting with dr. Gerandy and only thing left for today was diner. Since my nightmares ended, I was throwing up every day. The thing was that before it would be nightmare or throwing up and now it was just throwing up and I was actually glad. Better that then those sick dreams. Every day I would wake up with taste of metal and salt in my mouth, taste of blood. Only fun stuff.

I decided to look presentable for diner so I dressed good damn nice. It was summer so I gave myself little break. I didn't wear long-sleeved shirts all time and I wasn't afraid of seeing my scars and myself in in mirror. It looks like I overcome most of my fears, but one remained. I was afraid of fitting in brunette profile again, I didn't want to be Marcus's brunette. So I dyed my hair in black or blonde. I was blonde now, it was summer so why not to light myself a bit. I felt bit fake with blond hair, but it did look stunning. I dressed myself in pure white overall and put on beautiful gold satrapy heels. My now blond hair was beautifully wavy with gold shine while on the Sun.

I arrived at Cullen house early and saw Jasper's Harley. Well this will be fun. Usually when Jasper was on diner Carlisle would always criticize me the most or something similar. I need to add I am curious What will Carlisle tell me again? He might criticize my eyebrows. And so I entered house without knocking or anything. I just took purse from Bugatti and locked it.

"HelloYo-yo yiggidy-yo! " I said when walked in kitchen. Esme and Carlisle narrowed their eyebrows and Emmet laughed.

"Someone is in good mood today I see. Walking on cloud nine Isabella?" Carlisle asked.

"Geez, man. You sure know how to kill a mood Carlisle. But I am just fine.. Thanks for asking Carlisle… Oh, and call me Bella." I said and totally shocked him. I put veto on calling mr Bella months ago, so it was kind a shock.

"Esme need help with cutting those carrots, I am good with cutting." I declared and that caused trio to freeze. Well karma is a bitch.

"What ? Cat eat you toungs? I know how to cook, believe me I am masterchef." After they didn't say a word I took knife and started chopping.

"So man, I was thinking…" Jasper was saying and stopped when he saw. I pulled knife up and waved to him. Edward came with him too.

"Hello Jazzy and hello Eddy." I said my hello.

"Well someone is in good mood, so what is now Sister?" Edward said with quotation marks on sister.

"Well today I was told that I am not crazy and that I am perfectly fine and all that after I said that I killed my ex. So? I mean there is no one who want to kill me today." I said and again shocked everyone and well Jasper chuckled. I put knife down and went to hug him.

"Yes, but you're such a bad liar that it doesn't really count. Nobody believes you Isabella." Edward said. I rolled my eyes.

"Bitch please, you are just jalouse because Jasper got hug and you didn't." I winked at him. Emmet chuckled.

"Of course I am Isabella."I hugged him too.

"Please call me Bella and don't call me sister. When you call me sister I feel like I have done incest with Emmet and that is just juck." I said and sticked out tounge in disgust. Everybody laughed. Emmet spun me and I giggled.

"Well , it looks like we finally got Bella back and I hope she stays." Jasper said.

We laughed and I actually enjoyed I knew that in that my diner will end badly. I wasn't hungry when we ate diner so I ate just salad and no meat. Meat makes me sick.

"Okay Bellybeans, are you back on ballet or something? What is with diet?" Jasper asked.

"No, although Demetri called he wants me back, but I said no." I smiled.

"Another boyfriend Bella?" Emmet asked.

"Oh, no Emmet. If he is I would need to kill him. I danced with him. Ballet, huh."

"Huh?" Carlisle asked.

"Oh, nothing, I just remembered how I met him. He yelled that even with my last name it doesn't mean that I am good dancer, well we fought, started dancing and I became his partner. He adored my passion and well me." I smiled.

"Why did you say no?" Esme asked.

"Well, first I am not in New York and I can't dance."

"Liar." Jasper said. I glared at him.

"What?"

"This is all you stupidity, you can dance, but you are stupid. You say you can't dance and he told you the very same thing, and what happened? Dammit, you became his partner for competitions." Jasper practically yelled at me.

"Oh, shut up. I fell like whore on dick last time I tried, ankle shit, and besides I have no one to dance for." Well this is true, I did feel and I don't really have anyone to dance for.

"Okay, okay. As you say Bella, but keep in mind that Jane will appear and knock your door down." I rolled my eyes, but shit Jane can be scary.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Diner was over and we were having fun playing chess, Jasper tried to beat me and again failed. It was fun watching him try. Edward and Emmet played COD2. Emmet won. I was to curious to keep my mouth shout, so I called Carlisle. He appear minute later.

"What is it dear?" He ask politely and dear wifey appears seconds later.

"Well, I am here all night and Jasper is here and I know what that means. You will tell me something and you think that I will have break down. So cut the crap." I stated. They all stared at me.

"So?"

"Okay, sit down.." Carlisle told me.

"I'm good. Speak."

"Okay, so I received call from hospital in NY and they told me that…" He looked at me with concern.

"Speak!" I yelled.

"Okay.. they told me that the day when you were born another girl was born Isobel and.." I cut him.

"They think that we were switched. Am I right?" I asked.

"Yes." He said coldly.

"Is that all?" I asked him and he stared at me.

"Are you hearing yourself?" He asked me.

"Well yes. And guess what? Da… Charlie and Renée are dead. So it doesn't really matters to me. I won't look for answers, they will come to me."

"How?" I heard Jasper asking.

"If I am not their daughter then Isobel has no parents and that sucks. I won't allow another me to egzist and Renée had died from cancer" I stopped there "If I inherited gene with that features I will die too. And when I die, that will be prove." I said. They were all looking me strange, well I did say strange things, but still. Well beat it, they always look at me strange.

"Okay, I see that this killed mood, so Bella is going now…Diner was tasty Esme. Bye."

When I arrived home I took bath. I didn't think about anything. I was in bed in hour. I was wearing just underwear and nothing more. Summer was actually hot in Forks. I wanted to sleep, but I couldn't. So I walked to my stash and took pills. I walked to bathroom for glass of water, but once I put pill in my mouth I couldn't swallow it. I spilled it out and looked at myself in mirror. Once again I saw emptiness peering at me and I saw something else. I saw Marcus, I hallucinated and I didn't take pills in moth and half. I punched Marcus in mirror, mirror broke and my hand started bleeding.

It was like he is alive once again. It was like I am going through hell of Marcus once was like watching Marcus burning me. It was like he was leaving his mark on me once again. It was like surviving once again. It was like I was stabbing him once again. It was like I am watching him die once again. It was like losing my mom once again. It was like losing Dad once again. It was like losing myself once again. And then it was done. Bleeding stopped. I looked around and saw glass everywhere.

Laugh, I laughed, washed hands and walked to bathroom. "Only me!" I yelled. "I am one and only!"

"I am Isabella Marie Swan, daughter of Renée and Charlie Swan." I yelled. "Why don't I believe in this?!" I mumbled.

"I am Isabella Marie Swan and I killed my ex. He wanted to kill me, but I escaped him. I did, but then I changed my mind and killed him!" I yelled again. "Why do I believe this?!" I asked myself over and over. With no answer I climbed on bed and started on ceiling when I heard something. My head snapped to window.

"What are you doing here?"Review.

Sorry for mistakes,

Soon,

Wicked Daphne

xoxo


	17. Chapter 17

**Brown eyes on brunette**

**Chapter seventeen**

**_Isa Dwyer is one hard nut to crack_**

**EPOV**

**I am so sorry for long wait my laptop broke and highschool brings a lot of pressure. Sorry for mistakes and review.**

**Merry Christmas!**

For second I thought that she spotted me, but she actually didn't. I couldn't believe what I am seeing. Her hand was bleeding and she was talking to herself. I heard her yelling. I heard every word of her pain. She was so convinced that she is killer. She was laying on bed and putting holes on ceiling. I was afraid that she will hurt herself, but I couldn't move from my hiding spot.

She jumped from bed, her covers were covered with blood. Bella looked so focused on something, but I couldn't realize what. She was walking up and down through room. Her hands were shaking. She was in a trance. Every move she made ended with sound of breaking. Her head was turning in every way, I thought her neck will snap. She started pulling her hair out.

Damped scream echoed and she was on her knees. She looked like she is praying, but I knew better. Her whole body was shaking, painfully.

"It is all my fault Marcus, I am sorry.. I am sorry.. I am so sorry that I killed you." She whispered.

Seriously she is blaming herself for his death? It was accident not murder from what I heard. Was it that bad? Did she really love him so bad that it kills her? Or is it guilt? Right now I feel guilty. If it wasn't for me she would stay in Forks and she wouldn't have to go through this.

"No you know I am not. Only thing I am sorry is that I didn't torture you before I killed you!" She was yelling to non existing person. She stopped shaking and stood up.

"You know I was so afraid to die. I was afraid, but in the end, as you faded into the night. Who is left to tell the story of your life? And who will remember your last goodbye? Me ! Me! Always me! Cause it's the end and I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid to die!" She yelled again.

"I am afraid to live." I heard mute whisper.

"You took everything from me."

"You made me like this."

"You made me think I love you!"

"You thought you seceded, but no."

"You had your eyes wide open, but you were unable to see."

" **If I fall again, I will rise back up and relive my glory!**"

"I am done with you. Looking forward to see you last destination. Grave."

Laugh echoed through room and I was unsure what I saw. She was laughing her ass out-and-out of nowhere, she stopped. She looked through room and she seemed lost, like she didn't know what just happened. Hallucination. That was it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx

When I arrived home. I heard Mom and Dad arguing. Jasper and Emmet were sitting in living room. Emmet was lost in his world. Sometimes I felt sorry for my brother. He is in love with girl who is no longer girl he feel in love with. I saw him going through pictures of him with Bella countless time, I have also heard music she composed for him. Melody was beautiful just like her.

Emmet would daydream about her everyday. He is obsessed with her. Emmet can paint extremely good. And everything he painted in last months is her. From different angles to different styles. He is all into her. He would lock himself in room for hours and paint. I thought he is sick, but Mom thought that he is finally letting his creative self out. Yeah, like he didn't do that with pranks.

Jasper was looking impatient, he was waiting for something. He ran his fingers through hair every 15 seconds. I was surprised, Jasper was usually so calculated and calm. I think he is freaking out. Why? He is all worried about Bella. Poor guy. He is lost without her. It is sad, he is so dependent on her and doesn't even know. He thinks that he loved her from need, but I see differently. He is so stubborn and he dazzled by every word that came from Bella's mouth. I believe that if she told him to jump from bridge, he would. But who am I to judge? I would do it to. I see it as crazy habit of worry. In last months I thought about her so many times. And I am positive, if she asked me to jump, I would.

"What is going on?" I asked them.

"Mom and Dad are arguing and Jazz man and myself are waiting for Tanya." Emmet answered me.

"Um.. why Tanya?" I was surprised.

"Your mother is one judgy woman. And Tanya met Bella on Bella's first day in New York. So she have footage and tapes of Bella."Jasper answered.

I didn't reply. I just waited for Tanya. This will be strange. I didn't speak with Tanya since she slapped me. I heard car arrive so I decided to open door for Tanya. When I opened door she was already there at last stair with big bag. Probably full of videos and pictures..

"Hello Tanya." I greeted her.

"Edward." She replied simply.

I gestured towards living room and followed Tanya there. Mom and Dad were there too. I felt Tanya being little nervous, but I am not in place to comfort her. That ship sailed long time ago. Tanya said hello to everyone and Jasper rushed to help her with equipment. Pictures covered whole living room table and videos were ready to play when she started.

"I met Bella on her first day in New York. Here ." She gestured to one picture."I was taking photos when I spotted supermodel walking towards place I was." I looked at picture and really did see supermodel. Girl was wearing superstore black coat, stockings and heel boots. Bare skin was showing between coat and stockings. It was surprise, super hot girl on heels with little coat as all clothing. It was Bella, I was positive, but something didn't feel right. I looked at date, but before I could say anything Emmet stole words from my mouth.

"Date on picture is wrong."

"No, it isn't. I met her at May 13th in 2011, when she first arrived."Tanya stated.

"That can't be truth, she left in March." I said. Tanya looked at me surprised. She was lost.

"No, date is right. She arrived at Friday and I met her week later also in May. " Jasper said.

We all looked around. I swear every person in room was lost in thoughts when Tanya continued.

"Well this is when I met her, Where and what she was doing before I don't know. So.. when she arrived she asked me about apartment, well penthouse on last floor. I was surprised. Only apartments on last floor were mine, apartment of Rosalie Hale and apartment of Black brothers. I told her that and she just smiled. I swear I have never seen something more beautiful then her. She told me that she will live with Rose and I froze. Don't get me wrong Jasper, but your cousin is bitch."She flashed apologetic smile to Jasper. "She was so sympathic, like no one before. She hoped to see me around and I was so happy about that." Tanya was telling us..

"I saw her again next day and day later. Soon enough we became friends. I was so happy. Before Bella I was lost, lonely and had no friends. I was nerdy, fat and builed in school. But she wasn't like others she is an angel. At first I didn't really know who she is. I didn't know she is Swan. She introduced herself as Isa Dwyer and she became popular in week. Everybody was at her feet, she owned world, but she didn't forget about me."

"That summer is the happiest summer of my life. Isa helped my with weight and confidence. She was amazing. I always wondered why she chose me and when I asked her why she told me that I remind her on herself. I couldn't believe, but then she told me her story."

"She said who she really is and she was begging me not to be mad at her. She didn't need to do that. If didn't matter. Her story didn't have names , everyone was mystery. I didn't know how similar her life was to mine, but I was glad I didn't. And now I am here in Forks and I whole story, who is who and I wish that I don't."

For next hour and half we were looking over pictures and videos of her. We heard her singing and heard her playing. Tanya taped everything.

_Swinging in the backyard__  
__Pull up in your fast car__  
__Whistling my name__Open up a beer__  
__And you say get over here__  
__And play a video game__I'm in his favorite sun dress__  
__Watching me get undressed__  
__Take that body downtown__I say you the bestest__  
__Lean in for a big kiss__  
__Put his favorite perfume on__Go play a video game__It's you, it's you, it's all for you__  
__Everything I do__  
__I tell you all the time__  
__Heaven is a place on earth with you__  
__Tell me all the things you want to do__  
__I heard that you like the bad girls__  
__Honey, is that true?__  
__It's better than I ever even knew__  
__They say that the world was built for two__  
__Only worth living if somebody is loving you__  
__Baby now you do__Singing in the old bars__  
__Swinging with the old stars__  
__Living for the fame__Kissing in the blue dark__  
__Playing pool and wild darts__  
__Video games__He holds me in his big arms__  
__Drunk and I am seeing stars__  
__This is all I think of__Watching all our friends fall__  
__In and out of Old Paul's__  
__This is my idea of fun__  
__Playing video games__It's you, it's you, it's all for you__  
__Everything I do__  
__I tell you all the time__  
__Heaven is a place on earth with you__  
__Tell me all the things you want to do__  
__I heard that you like the bad girls__  
__Honey, is that true?__  
__It's better than I ever even knew__  
__They say that the world was built for two__  
__Only worth living if somebody is loving you__  
__Baby now you do__(Now you do)__  
__(Now you do)__  
__(N-Now you do)__  
__(N-Now you do)__  
__(Now you do)__  
__(Now you do)__It's you, it's you, it's all for you__  
__Everything I do__  
__I tell you all the time__  
__Heaven is a place on earth with you__  
__Tell me all the things you want to do__  
__I heard that you like the bad girls__  
__Honey, is that true?__  
__It's better than I ever even knew__  
__They say that the world was built for two__  
__Only worth living if somebody is loving you__  
__Baby now you do__(Now you do)__  
__(Now you do)__  
__(N-Now you do)__Now you do_

"She sung that on one occasion. Everyone was amazed. This is when Jasper fell in love with her, even if he doesn't want to admit."Tanya winked at Jasper and he laughed. Who wouldn't love Bella? She has voice of angel.

"Once she told me that she can dance. I laughed because I thought she is joking. She even said ballet and then I knew what that means. Demetri." Tanya spat.

"What is your problem with him T?" Jasper laughed.

"Shut up Whitlock, you know how he is." Tanya giggled.

"What is the deal with him?"Mom asked.

"Oh, nothing he is crazy."Jasper and Tanya brusted out laughing.

"Demetri is known for his rudeness and ego. He is best dancer and he does not go for anything less than perfect." Jasper said.

"He was giving lessons and looking for dance partner. His partner Heidi broke ankle and s unable do dance as perfect as she use too."

"And this is where Bella steps in. You have video T?" Tanya nodded.

**_Video (still EPOV_****_)_**

_"Today on August 17th we are going to Ballet studio here in NY. So Isa, you nervous?" _

_"No." Bella alike laugh echoed. "Should I be?" Bella asked._

_"Well, yes. Demetri Volturi is tyranin." Tanya answered._

_"In that case... Perfect."_

_They both laughed, but heard how unsure Tanya was. Tanya's work was amazing, she has perfect arm for recording. There is no blur. Tanya zoomed out Bella's face and showed full image of Bella. Bella was beautiful, her hair was gathered in tight bun and she was wearing black tutu dress. In those death traps of shoes her legs looked even longer, her dress made her look even more skinny, her waist looked so small, her dress made her look even more petite. I didn't know if she can dance or not so I was holding my breath. Tanya wished her good luck and Isabella just laughed._

_Tanya was obviously placed in corner of room with camera I could tell by angle. Every dancer in room was doing stretching. Bella included. Even her __stretching_ looked like most beautiful dance. I was in trance when I heard doors of room bang. Tall boy with brown hair entered room. Demetri. He was dressed all in black. He radiated with arrogance. He looked through room and I recognized that as counting. His gaze stopped at Bella.

_"Ah, fresh blood. Please everybody welcome Isa Dwyer."He seemed so polite. No one in room said one word, all girls were staring at floor. Huh?_

_"Well, we shall start. Isa try to keep up." Bella nodded."If you can." He added with smirk._

_"What should that mean?" Bella asked, I sensed that she already knows answer._

_"Oh, nothing Miss Sw-Dwyer. I have just finished reading you file and I found out that you dance only for a year."_

_"So?"Bella was annoyed._

_"I don't quite what you are doing in advanced class Miss." He smirked._

_"Well, we shall see." She was so confident._

_Without anymore pussyfoot, Demetri started their lesson. It looked hard for most girls, but Bella's moves looked fresh and graceful. I couldn't believe it. I thought she is clumsy as hell, but no. Demetri was glancing at Bella often and each time she responded with flashy smile. That was driving him mad. After lot of moves and unknown words at one point Demeti told girl to hold on. And that meant stay still at death traps. Girls were falling down on edge of tears and in the end Bella and three more stood still. One in front and two by Bella's sides. Feet of one in front couldn't hold any longer. So she dropped. Bella's feet seemed fine. Two by Bella's sides were struggling and one just lost battle. She looked at Demetri apologetically._

_"It is okay Heidi." Demetri softened on second, but tyran was back too soon._

_Battle was still going on. Without Heidi there was just one girl. Little petite blond. I saw her few times during practice and she is amazing dancer. Bella and that other were still holding. Bella was doing everything with ease while blond girl was on edge until she broke down. And there she stood in middle of the room, still holding. Demetri was furious._

_"Well, well, well. Little Miss beginner is talented. How perfect." Demetri spat._

_"I told you that you shall see."Bell holded, but it was tough even for her now._

_"Drop down." Demetri commanded. She did. "You may act and look like dancer , nut that isn't making you good dancer."_

_"You see Demetri I know I am not good." She replied._

_"Oh, how so Miss Dwyer?" Demetri asked curiously._

_"I know I am not good because I am better." Isabella Swan is one hard nut to crack._

_"Well than you shall dance with me."_

_And she did. She danced so beautifully. I don't know names of moves, but every move looked like it was made for her. I didn't see anything except perfection. No one in living room nor in room on-screen did. Spins, steps and holds. Demetri and Isa were perfect match even Demetri knew it. So this is why he chose her to become his partner._

_**End of video**_

Tanya stayed for some time after that video. And we talked. About us, but mostly about Bella. Tanya mad fool out of Jasper, but in the end we were all fools. Bella made Jasper think that his love for her is not real, she manipulated him. Jasper was so angry, but he understood. Bella needed space and she obviously didn't want to be burden to him.

We learned that Bella is genius, singer, actor and dancer. So I wondered when she sleeps? according to Jasper she does sleep, but only four hours. Dammit! Four hours? That is equal to nothing. Jasper and Tanya explained that she had busy schedule. She would wake up and practice dancing for two hours, she would have shower and got ready for school. After all advanced classes in school she would stay in library and work on her homework. By five she would be home, but only to practice playing on instruments or having real practice with Demetri.. After that Jasper told us that Bella was always going through paperwork of Swan company and after she was done she would do something with friends and sleep. I was so amazed and confused in same time. How come then with so busy schedule was she straight A student?

"Easy, you forgot to count fact that her IQ is higher than Einstein's was." disbelief at Tanya's words.

"It is?" Em asked.

"God, people. Where do you live?" Jasper spat

Umm? Who knows?

**Review.**

**WICKED Daphne**


	18. Chapter 18

**Holiday special**

**Rosalie**

When I met her, I was blown away. Isabella Swan is beautiful. I'm model, but towards her I am ugly duckling. Never in my life I thought that I will met someone as her. Isabella Swan was perfect. Everything about her screamed it. But she was down to Earth and full of surprises. She topped me in everything. I can play piano, but so can she all along with other instruments. I am smart, she is genius.

People thought of me only bad things. People thought that I am thinking about others as about lower race. I was made in their Hitler. I never had many friends, it was me, my cousin Jazz and Black brothers. People were afraid of talking to me. I needed girly company and only normal girl was Tanya who was to shy to talk to anyone. So I was so happy about Bella's arriving.

Everyone liked her instantly and Jasper of course feel in love with her. God knows I was happy when she said she loved him too. Jazzy deserved girl like Bellsy. But after Jazzy moved, things that fate prepared for Bella were unexpected.

I love Jasper, but that boy is stupid as hell. He was so in love with Bellsy and he let her go so easily. Who does that? Jasper that is who. He was blinded with her, he was ready to die for her, but of course Bellsy didn't want him to be away from his family. He was so stupid when he left just because she told him to. He was unhappy and she was too. And of course than she met her worst nightmare. Marcus.

After some time away from Jazz, Bella was okay, she missed Jazzy like hell, but heck that girl is hard nut to crack. Tanya the shy girl became Bella's and mine friend after Bellsy helped her lose weight. Bella spend a lot of her free time with Tanya when she wasn't with me or Paul or Jacob. In my opinion after Tanya's betrayal Bellsy needed to kill her, but no Isabella didn't even slap her. Come on! Bella didn't have free time to spare and she spent her time on bitch. Tanya was no one without Isabella.

What happened? Well Tanya bitch, had sex with Marcus. At least I am glad that Denali bitch is no longer in neighborhood because if she stayed I would be now in jail. Thanks dear God, Bella ran her out of town. I would do a lot worse, but Bella is Bella. And because of that I knew that no physical pain is worse than pain that Bellsy¸'s words can cause. That is worst possible way of punishment because you can't get Isabella mad is true fire, she had probably laughed in Tanya's face. When Bellsy got mad she didn't yell, she was down right calculated and creepy calm, she would glare at you and tell everything you were afraid to hear. By then end of fight with her people would be crying in corner. Isabella Swan was on cruel gal and I am so she is my friend.

Marcus is one big-big jerk. I mean she trusted him, well not completely, but still she did. Isabella doesn't trust many people and what Marcus did is really unforgivably. So when Tanya was swallowed by Earth, Bellsy decided to revenge on Marcus. She played with him, he believed her that she loves him. She lied all the time, every touch, every kiss was lie. I bet she even had sex with him to convince him in something that wasn't quite truth. I don't know how she lasted that long, but she is amazing actor and she probably fucked Felix in meantime too. I would too, but I am with Royce.

Marcus deserved visit by Devil if you ask me and well he got it. I didn't know what exactly happened until I dragged Bella on Hawaii for Christmas. After his death she was destroyed, her body crushed. We believed that they were in car crash, but that is like hundred gallons of lie. For three days I there was no trace of Bella, well fucker called and told Paul that they are with his family. But Devil didn't give me peace so I called the Volturis and they told me that Marcus is with Bella in Forks, apparently they were visiting her dad. And shit that was lie, Charlie was in NY for work. I was so worried when my phone rung. I was Bella's emergency call person. Call from hospital Bella was in ER.

Time passed and she became the shadow of person she was.

Marcus died. But true story of his death was untold. Bella couldn't face the truth.

Her dad died. She fell deeper in depression.

She almost died.

All of this was too much. She didn't eat, she became skeleton. She couldn't sleep and when she did she had nightmares, she screamed, woke up and threw up. Every night someone slept with her and hold her tight. Paul, Jacob or me. When she was out of hospital she couldn't stand on her feet so we needed to bathe her. She flinched at every touch, she stopped dancing, acting singing, she stopped playing instruments. She was unrecognizable. And then CHristmas came. Presents and joy, but she acted like she wasn't there. Bella was sitting in corner staring ar snow that was falling lazily. I knew she was counting snowflakes, our place was beautiful, all colours and big Christmas tree with presents under it. Bella of course gave every each of us present. She picked amazingly, but there was no joy and that is where I crossed line. Well not here, slightly after last present arrived on out doors. Gift from Charlie, sure he was dead, but he must picked it before he died and booked on someone to deliver it. Paul argued with Jake and me. We didn't want to give it to her because we were afraid of her reaction, but Paul wanted to do the right thing so we gave it to her.

When she told us from who it was her eyes widen in shock, but she nodded. She couldn't open it at first, but she in the end did. We were surprised when she stood up from couch and ripped paper from box. She pulled out star made of glass and put it on tree. She studied the tree for moment and then disappeared in her room. Jake, Paul and I stared after her. I looked in box and checked if it is empty, but it wasn't. There was more of things inside of box, but she didn't spare a glance. She knew star was inside. I walked to tree and looked at star closely.

_'All that is gold does not glitter, all who wander are not lost so you better be painting spirit of flying bird rather than its feathers.' Renee to Charlie _

That was written over it. Note was beautiful and I recognized it. It is actually made from two quotes.

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

__When I dragged her on Hawaii and got her drunk she spilled all beans. I saw scar on her back and heard how Marcus really died. She spilled out everything. She wasn't in car crash and now guilt was eating her. Guilt and hate towards everyone. When she recovered from hangover she didn't remember a shit. So I don't know if she knows that I know.

Hawaii was good and bad decision. Bella was away from problems, but she made others every night she would get drunk and had hangover day after. It got easier for her, but being drunk wasn't solution. And when we returned to NY she was hell out of girl. She still cared for Swan company, but that was all. Paul then called Carlisle and she needed to move home again. I miss her, but I hope that next time I see her I hope I will see girl I met all those months ago

**Merry Christmas everyone!**

**Wicked Daphne**

**xoxo**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter eighteen**

**BPOV**

**DEAD SHOULD STAY DEAD**

**Happy New Year!**

Yeah NY's gang is coming to town, but that will have to wait. They will have to wait. I packed up everything I think will be needed. My hand ached, but hell, not so long ago my whole body ached. So my dear hand, go fuck yourself. This morning I woke up and decided something. I am going to New York, personal problems. I dressed myself pretty casually in long sweater that looks like dress in gray color, I put on black stockings that reached just inch above my knees and brown five inch lace up heels. I am in Forks after all. I grabbed my brown handbag and little suitcase with just necessaries.

I was ready to leave, grabbed my keys and walked to doors. But before I decided to look myself in mirror. Gosh, I am freak with that thing. So here we are. Just like always I saw me. But I am different then ever before. I did gain some weight back, but mostly I was skin, bones, butt and boobs. Well one happy skeleton family. My blond hair did suit me, but it isn't me. My skin was pale, my make up flawless. Okay, I am okay. Breathe, breath. Now leave and don't hallucinate. I walked down hall and reached door knob. Well I didn't leave my dog out.

"Hello brother, what do I own this pleasure?" I smirked at him, but I was polite.

"Bella can we talk?" I nodded and stepped back so he can come in. "You are leaving?" He asked.

"Yes, I have business to attend so, make it quick."I flashed him my famous flash smile.

"Okay. So can you please tell me how high your IQ is?" What the hell?

"That little bitch. What else did Tanya showed you? Demetri and ballet lesson, singing, acting, random stuffs?"I spat.

"Well I guess that improves that your IQ is higher than Einsteins." That little brat.

"So now you know, lucky you. Well I see you are so interested in my brains. And for you information I don't know how high my IQ is I never read results."I walked to doors and waited for him to leave. "Are we done here, I got plane to catch." I rolled my eyes.

"No-no. Bella dear. You see if I call my dad now you are not leaving." Edward laughed at me. Is that a threat?

"Very well, Eddie boy. Pack your bags, we're flying."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

So we did. We landed in New York an hour ago and were buying Edward new clothes because I didn't let him pack. I just kinda pulled him by ear and dragged him in my car. So when plane landed my car was already waiting for me. Well car with driver. Eleazar worked for my dad for over decade. He isn't actually driver, but I called him and he agreed that he will pick me and well Eddie. We were picked up from airport and then we switched cars. Eleazar was back to work and I took Eddie boy over here shopping.

"So you know that this would actually be faster and cheaper if you did let me go home and pack." Edward stated.

"Shut up before you say more stupid things. You would go home and pack, your dear mother would see your bags and simply asked why. So beat it." I really should kill that brat, he is so annoying.

So after we, well he chose clothes to wear I paid everything and added few things to his choice. He said that he has his money and I told him that this is a treat. We enrolled in Hotel. Palace Hotel is nice place, I can tell that Eddie's jaw agrees. So I came in and everyone jumped to their feet.

"Miss Swan!"

"What a nice surprise Miss Swan."

"Your room will be ready in seconds, just leave your bags and we will carry them up. Miss Swan."

Hmm. Strange. This people recognize me with different hair color and I stayed here just twice and Edward didn't recognize me with black hair. That is not right. Edward was shocked whole ride up with lift and his shock was just erased when he saw my room, well our room. Gosh. Servants came with my bag and Eddie's shopping bags minute later. I gave them nice tip and thanked. Edward was looking around room like psycho.

"So Miss Swan. One bed? Are you trying to seduce me?" Dick grinned.

"You stupid Dick. There is one more bed in here." I stepped aside and opened doors on my right.

"Well, Bellsy. You turned into rich brat. " Edward said with smile.

"Room is yours. So go in there and get changed. You have five minutes and then I am leaving with or without you. Dress nicely." I demanded.

Once I was left alone in my room I changed quickly so if Edward was ready before me he won't see me naked. I pinned my blond hair up in bun and dressed in dark blue silk dress, put on my feet a pair of Louboutin Maillot Cutout Black Suede Platform Pump Heel Shoes in black and took black Gucci clutch. Nothing more. I knew why Edward's jaw was on floor. I agree room is beautiful. White walls with gold borders, king sized bed with mulberry silk covers and soft pillows in white and gold. Minibar, big bathroom and amazing view on New York. Edward came out of room ready to go. Dressed nicely he read as dress in clothes he didn't pick. So he came out of room in black jeans and white shirt. He flashed me smile. Cocky bastard.

"So why are you dressed like that? Where are we going?" Always annoying questions from that rat.

"I told you I have some business to attend, so I will do that. And.. you, you will have happy hour." If he only knew what I am planing to do.

We walked to lift and people were staring at us of course, while staff of hotel was yelling if I need something. We exited hotel and tried to find my car. New York is one busy city. I gave keys to Edward and told him to drive. Let a boy have fun. I explained how some to set GPS and drive where his heart leads him. He listened my instructions where to drive and soon enough I was close to my destination, just one stop before it. Flower shop. Edward was too much noisy for my liking. So his curiosity ended with asking me why. I just told him to shut up and pull over. We came in and I was chosing flowers while Edward was doing God knows what.. I chose flowers and told girl behind register to set them together in one arrangement. I paid for flowers and soon enough we were driving to my next stop. Metal fence was getting closer. We were close.

"Pull over there, near entrance." I instructed.

"On graveyard? " Edward asked with confused voice.

"Yeah..." I nodded.

He pulled car really near entrance. Few steps and we are in. Edward was out of car in seconds, but I stayed behind. I needed some time. This really brings memories back to life. Memories that should stay dead. I still remember good times I spent with him. I remember everything. With my unerring recall of everything that happened, all I could do about memories is bury them alive. And that is hard work to do. You always remember things, and recall of traumatic and dangerous event is even stronger than just strong memory of something. Life sucks. I took few breaths and opened car doors. Edward was watching me with worry.

"You okay?" Wow, he really did worry.

"Um... yeah. I am. So Eddie boy, this is where our paths are being separated. I am going here and you go where ever you please. In car you have everything You might need." I sensed my voice will crack so I decided to rush things bit. "And call Esme, tell her that you are with me, because I am.. I don't know, sick. Just don't tell here that you are in NY..." Time to go.

"Um.. Okay. So should I pick you up after you do everything you must do?" His eyes gazed in mine. I saw one undefined feeling in them, This is sick, he hated me.

"No, just go to hotel when you are done, I will call taxi..."Silence. "Edward, just go I will be okay." I gave him little smile.

I watched how car is disappearing down street before I stepped closer to gate. Big black metal fence seemed appropriate for graveyard. I was never before here, but I knew where to look for his grave. So beat it. I allowed myself to take few deep breaths before I stepped inside graveyard. Hundreds of graves were placed here, hundreds of dead people reached their peace here. All but him. I could bet that he is still turning in grave because he didn't end me. People could tell that I took a small walk while I was walking to his grave slowly. After five times that I was close to his grave and turned in different way, finally I was standing on distance of few inches. His grave was placed under one big old oak tree. I placed flowers under his name and once more stood in front of him. His grave was simple, black with silver letters that formed his name. An I just stood there. I don't know for how long, but I just did.

_Marcus Volturi_

_Son of Aro and Sulpicia_

_Loved to death_

_April 11th 1993 - November 18th 2012_

Marcus. I thought that with time, everything will become easier, easier to forget. But I still remember everything, every kiss, every touch. Everything. Everything I thought is real. I remember listening his words like greatest melody. I remember falling to his tight embrace over and over again. But still with everything I loved about him, I can't forget everything I now hate about him. And truth to be told, I hate everything. I hate everything good in him. I hate that I allowed myself to be drawn to him so easily. But truly it was so easy to fall for him. He was like when greatest dream comes true. And that dream was lie.

I don't know why he chose me. I don't know what effect I had over him. All I know is that he wanted to end me. Maybe he was psycho or just another boy obsessed with me who couldn't let his center of obsession slipping away. Maybe. Or maybe there is a lot of things I don't know about him.

I don't understand when or why my dream changed in nightmare. There was no pulled line, when we changed in our relationship. It just happened. He became different. Thing with Tanya happened and still we were going no where. We just stood there and waited for someone who will play our cards. Or I thought that is so. When I saw Tanya and Marcus, I don't remember being angry or full of rage. I just remember walking away with head held with dignity.

I wanted to let them both go and be happy, I thought that is what they wanted. I was wrong, next day, Marcus came to me. Everything was normal, he gave me kiss as hello and held my hand when we were walking down street. He was happy that he was with me, big smile was stretched over his face, he flattered me and enjoyed day. That was a line I pulled. I pretended, responded to his kisses, thanked for compliments and smiled. I decided to pretend.

His behavior set me on fire. I was so angry, but I remained calm, or faked calmness. I was burning with rage when day was finally over. I came home, closed all windows and locked doors of my room. At first I just sat down on cold floor and wondered why. I searched for explanation which never came. Then I took pillow and brought it to my face. I screamed in it loudest I could. That didn't help.

I remember how I stood in front of mirror and tried to find something that could make me ugly. I found nothing. Except for hunger, hunger for revenge. And normal hunger, for food. That day I didn't concentrate on paperwork of Swan company. I took my cello and played. Melody was filled with anger, rage and betrayal, I was so angry that once when I pulled fiddle bow, strings brusted. I laughed at that, laughed so much that I became thirsty cow. I devoured five glasses of wather in row.

Thank dear God, it was Friday. After all that water, finally I pulled out something that will tame angry beast down. Russian vodka. I devoured glass after glass and before I knew it, bottle was empty. I wasn't drunk, I was angry even more. Glass I held in my hand cracked when force of my grip was too much. Nothing helped me with anger except of taste of revenge. My whole body, each cell was craving for it. That is when I decided to play.

Trip down memory lane didn't do me well. My heels dug themselves in humid soil. I glanced on tower where big clock was. I was standing here over one hour. It didn't set me free, memories are haunting me, but they will eventually fade into gray. Sun was half way down on horizon. Few more hours and night will fall. My ever after with Marcus never came. I became everything I didn't want to be. His ghost is keeping me buried alive in open grave. I waited for life that never was... perfect. I am waiting for my old life to come back. All dreams I had I lay to rest. I'm on my own here and no one is left to be the hero. Hero that will show me out. This fairy tale's gone wrong as night will fall, my heart is still alone and my love for Marcus is dead. Memories fade into the silence, I hope. Haunting me today, with hopes that they won't last forever, I take this moment in. This will be the last. When morning breaks tomorrow, sunlight will take all pain away**. ** I closed my eyes to everything. Pleaded my empty heart of all reasons why I longed to die. When faces lied and love faltered, I'm was left with only time. And time broke the dreams that take the pain away. Pain wasn't taken. Pain stood here as reminder what I was forced to do when choices were stripped from me. I am not proud of what I did, but from this day to eternity I will no longer feel guilt. Because I did. I felt guilty for everything. And was it worth?

"Goodbye Marcus." I said when I was ready to leave. And truly I was ready to leave. I have just said my goodbye and felt better. There was nothing more that I could tell. I couldn't say to him 'Rest in peace', I wasn't so forgiving. I couldn't say that I was sorry for anything because I wasn't, I don't even feel guilt anymore. So I just said goodbye and turned to leave. But as I turned I realized that I will never truly leave.

"Miss Swan, you are the last person I imagined here." Voice of person who saw me was known. I knew this man and because of that I knew that his reaction doesn't fit. He should be angry at me, yell and swear, but no he actually is surprised and sound welcoming.

"Mr. Volturi.. I am sorry, I.. I will leave now." I have somehow stuttered.

"Isabella dear, please call me Caius and I beg you, you don't have to rush. There are few things I need to talk to you about." Caius Volturi said and left me speechless.

"Okay, but one condition."I looked in his eyes for approval, he smiled and I continued "Call me Bella." He nodded.

Caius Voluri needed to talk to me. About? I wasn't sure. At first when I saw him, I thought that he will yell at me because I am reason of grief in his family. And after he was all to polite I was confused as one rat can be confused when his eyes become blind. So he just placed flowers on Marcus's grave while he was muttering something and we took off. He drove me to his house. After he promised that no one is home. Except for staff. Drive to Caius' house was silent. Except for sound of engine of Caius' Mercedes. I mean what could he possibly say or what could I say.

Caius Volturi house was of course big, but still normal. It wasn't enormous like other house in this neighborhood. But it certainly wasn't small. Facade was white, but not pure white, creamy white. Caius pulled in his driveway and when he was out of car in seconds he was by my side and opened doors. I thanked him and we walked to doors. I knew this path very well. I spend a lot time in this house and house remained how I remember it. And when we entered it and seated ourselves in luxury living room, state of everything else in house was unchanged. He asked me if I want drink or if I am hungry. Of course I declined, even if I didn't eat anything yet, but I wasn't even hungry. Tea in other hand I did accept.

"I know that you wonder why exactly you are here or what I want to discuss with you so I think it is the best we start." He asked me. Watching my face if there is any change in it. He kept his stare like he know something he didn't want to know.

I did have choice now. Run head over heels or listen what he has to say. I chose to stay. I didn't sense any danger while I was with him. His voice was bringing waves of calm with it's sound. I believed in hos words while he was explaining his reasons of this. He wanted to show me something and before that he wanted to be sure that I am ready to see what he is about to show me. Tea was ready so Caius walked in kitchen to set it in cups. Smell of fresh tea was spread all over room. I recognized smell as apples and cinnamon. Demetri's favourite tea.

Caius is Demetri's older brother. So it is logical that Demetri and I spent hours in this house. While we were practicing Caius would always bring us tea and little snacks when we were in dance studio on second floor for hours. Their parents died years ago, so Caius took care over Demetri. At first Demetri and Caius were under custody of Aro who is their uncle. But as soon as Caius started earning money he took care after Demetri. And since then he has done amazing job. Demetri was raised as he never lost parents. Caius was always supportive, he understands Demtri and if there is a problem he will help him work it out. It seems like my fear od Caius was stupid, but I knew from who Demetri learned to be tiran. Sure with Demetri Caius was angel, but when there is question about job, Caius truly is tiran.

Caius is young man and handsome just as Demetri is. He has snowy blond hair while Demetri has brown. Caius black eyes always seemed soft while he was talking to me or Demetri, but that same eyes were telling different story while he was in tiran mode. After I told Demetri my real last name which he already knew, Demetri and Caius didn't change their behaviour towards me. Well except of when we were on meeting in Swan's company. Caius' company ( yeah, he has company) is in association with Swan's company, so when we were on meetings he didn't call me Bella, on meetings to everyone I was Miss Swan.

After we sipped last sip of our tea he lead me to room on second floor. Taste of apples and cinnamon was still in my mouth while we were walking to one more room that was well known to me. When we entered Caius' home office, he told be to sit. As I did, he reached under his desk and lifted a cardboard box which seemed heavy on desk. He gazed in my eyes and waited for.. For what? approval? As I nodded he began talking about Marcus and his death. With every new word he said taste of apples faded in nothing. I stood from my chair and looked in box. At first I expected to find a monster in it so I acted slowly and carefully. As my eyes set in box, confusion over took me. Diaries, los of diaries were in it. Sorted by month, Caius took out diaries with August, October and November written on them. I looked in box and tried to find missing month, September was missing.

"This diaries belonged to Marcus." His words seemed like blades. It felt like someone is stabbing me again and agin in fresh wounds. My throat wanted to close, cut flow of air in lungs. My whole body was shaking, I was blinking hundred miles on hour. And for real I didn't do anything of it. I didn't have panic attack, it was just... my mind showed me how panic attack would look like.

"It is like he is still here, Bella, I know." He spoke again. His voice sounded so comforting like se is talking to porcelain doll who will crack any second. I allowed myself to look at Caius, I wanted to know what he is telling me because I didn't understand.

"Why are you showing this to me?" I asked, my voice was giving me a hard time. I tried to shake feeling of creeps of my body, but creeps stayed. He is going to show me something terrible.

"This belonged to him. He filled pages with his words, images, dreams... Everything he took as important and on every page he wrote of you." I swallowed, hard. Does that meant that he was following me everywhere and...

"He didn't know me in August." I stated.

"No, he didn't, but he took pictures of you." He reached under desk and lifted another box. This one was filled with pictures. My pictures. "And write about you as brown eyed brunette."

_**Flashback**_

_"Bells... Your shirt is blue." Is all he said. He didn't say anything strange, he just reminded me on things I wanted to forget. He opened my eyes and now is time for me to see. See me. I took mirror from box. I approached it closer to my face, I didn't look yet. My eyes were closed tightly they didn't want to open. But they needed to. And, they did. I gasped, I didn't know what to do, I just stared in brown-eyed brunette. Paul noticed my reaction and he asked me if I am okay. I wasn't. I found gaze of brunette in mirror and held on in tightly._

_"I still look like her." Words came from nowhere._

_"No, you don't look like her Bells. You are her."After his words my whole world crashed. I wasn't afraid of mirror, I was afraid of reflection in it. No matter how long you don't look yourself in mirror, it doesn't mean that reflection changes. It doesn't._

_**End of Flashback**_

Marcus was sick. Really sick. Before I believed that brown-eyed brunette was just profile of girl from his dreams. I was wrong. Girl's profile is center of his obsession. If it wasn't me who fitted to it, he would find another girl. Another unlucky girl who would fall head over heels for him. Girl with brown hair and matching eyes who would be played be him and as reward got death. That was his goal. Death and over and over again. Girl after girl, brunettes all the way with brown eyes closed now only to be closed till the end of time.

_*I don't know why he chose me. I don't know what effect I had over him. All I know is that he wanted to end me. Maybe he was psycho or just another boy obsessed with me who couldn't let his center of obsession slipping away. Maybe. Or maybe there is a lot of things I don't know about him**.* **_And now I know. I know exactly why. He was all into me because I fitted.

"He wrote it all in diaries. He wrote what his goal was. He wanted to kill you because you fitted his profile. He explained how he tortured you, made scars on our body and burns on your back, he explained everything in details. He planned everything..."

"Except for falling in love with me." I cut him of.

"Yes... How did you..?" He asked.

"He told me that." I explained

"So according to diaries, he was about to kill you and that is where it ends. Can you..." Explain. Caius eyes peered in mine. He knew what happened, he read diaries, but didn't know end because there was no end.

"I escaped him. He... " My voice broke. How can I say I killed him? "He set me free from ropes, he truly was ready to kill me when I escaped... " Voice broke again.

"Shahs.." His arm brought me into warm embrace, he knew what happened. He knew that I killed him and He was comforting me. "It was your or him. You chose yourself and chose right." He whispered in my ear.

"But how can you say that... I killed him. I .. I.." I couldn't finish my sentence, my voice cracked every time I tried, but I wasn't crying much to my surprise.

"Isabella, it is okay. He was my cousin , but he had no right to do that." He whispered into my ear.

I don't remember what happened after. Everything was black. I didn't see, my eyes were closed. I don't know what was happening. I felt that I was being lifted in air and carried somewhere. Person who carried me placed me on soft bed. My he, head was lifted and pillow fitted under it. Even cover was being placed over me, but most surprisingly person who carried me laid next to and watched me sleep. Or I thought I was sleeping. I thought that I was sleeping, but I didn't. After some time I became sure of it because when I am asleep unpleasant dreams, nightmares are haunting me. And now there was none. So I opened my eyes and gasped for air. I searched for person who was next to me and found Caius.

"What happened?" I asked him in my confused state.

"You passed out and didn't tell what happened about... you know." His tone dropped lower as he finished sentence. "I mean we know what happened and now even if I wanted to prove anything I couldn't.. So can you finish?" He asked. Wow. He didn't want me to be accused of Marcus's murder.

"Okay, so after I.. um... gave him taste of his medicine." He nodded. "I was so angry, so I didn't even check if he is awake. I thought that he is unconscious when I pulled him in back seats and tried to drive him to hospital on time..." I stopped here. I tried to find words. "He was awake all the time, I was driving when he tried to choke me. I lost control of vehicle." I whispered. In seconds his arms were around me and I was sitting in his lap with my face pressed into his shoulder.

"We flew off the road, our car turned three times till it stopped. Airbags opened, but I still hit my head. I was unconscious for few minutes. There was no one on road. I didn't know where I was. We were turned up side down. I was held by seatbelt, but Marcus didn't have it. I glanced on back seat. He wasn't there. I started crying, every part of my body ached." I glanced to Caius's face. "I thought that I saw wrong so I turned again, he wasn't there, but I found something else." Now I was done I was crying. Tears which I didn't cry out when I needed.

"There was a needle. Needle filled with God knows what. I didn't think of it, I wanted my ache to stop. Never in my life I wanted something more. I wanted needle filled with poison." Salt was in my mouth. My eyes were so wet. I literally felt tears after tears pouring down my face to neck. "I wanted to grab it and when I couldn't desperation over took me." Caius place his palm on my face. He wiped my tears.

"I screamed in pain, I wish I didn't. He was still there, still breathing. His steps approached me. He jumped out I assume. He called me a feisty one. He..He.." I choked on my tears. "He laughed at me Caius. And when he stopped, he unclasped my seatbelt." I swallowed hard. "My limp, broken body screamed from impact. Marcus then pulled me out of car. He held my in his arms, he was once again ready to kill me." Caius held me tighter. "I.. I didn't have any other choice. He wasn't paying attention and that is when I stabbed him with needle in back."

"As I pulled needle out, he dropped me to floor. He couldn't do anything as I carried with stabbing. I stabbed him over and over again." " He was dead for real. I laid down next to his body. As morbid as it sounds. Pulled cell from his pocket and called Jasper. He called police and police traced us by cell. Story goes simple from this point. Somehow I managed to pull his body in car again. I knew that he keeps lighter in pocket so I took it and set car on fire." All this talking was bringing me back, down memory lane."From Marcus I earned bruises,scars, burns and few broken bones. I got rest from impact of explosion and laughed while I was waiting for ambulance and police." My voice cleared out. Tears were no longer falling down my checks.

"You won." Caius stated.

"Yes, I did. I won in most wicked game played by mankind."We both laughed.

Rest of our time together we spent casually. Even Demtri showed up. He was surprised to see me and when he finally managed to come to his senses, I was squeezed and lifted in air. Damn he looked great, but kill me I couldn't stop looking at Caius. But same was eith him. He was glancing on me every now and then. It was funny and right. I had fun. Demetri was happy to see me, according to Caius, Demetri found diaries and photos. So he knew what happened too. Demetri was nice, polite and didn't judge anything I done. Same as Caius.

Demetri just came from lesson, so he was sweaty and stinky. Demetri left for shower and Caius and I were left alone again. This time we were making dinner in kitchen, so it was nothing like last time in room upstairs. We laughed and chopped veggies. Talked about him and joked. When Demetri came out of shower we already set table and were ready to eat. Demetri asked a lot of questions, but he was tired. After dinner I commanded him to go to bed. At first he complained and said that he want to spend more time with me so I invited him in Forks. I glanced over Caius for approval and he smiled as response. I couldn't help, but smile back.

I pulled Demetri upstairs and pushed him on bed. As he was falling he pulled me down with him. I fell on his chest and we rolled on bed until we ended in floor. We laughed for minute and took extra minute to catch our breaths. I stood up helped Demetri up and joked on how graceful he is. He yawned as we were talking and that was my signal to go. I wished him goodnight and walked downstairs in kitchen. I had my heels in hands and tipped in kitchen noiselessly. Caius was washing dishes when I approached him from behind. I hugged him and linked my fingers on his front. I could almost hear Caius's smile stretching over his face.

"So I can take that you enjoyed yourself after our little talk Miss Swan." Caius unlinked my fingers and turned face to face to me.

"No... I just need a ride." I joked. His face fell, but I knew his is just joking too. "Caius I did. Thank you." His smile brought mine as he said you're welcome.

"So if you like I can drive you to your hotel. So?" Caius asked.

"Of course. .. Um... can we go now. I mean it is getting late and I have enemy in my room so.."

"What enemy?"He whispered in my hair and laughed. "Okay, I will just grab keys and I want you to take diaries..." I wanted to protest, but he placed finger over my lips. "If you ever felt guilt, read them and you won't." Caius said and walked upstairs. I assume to his office where diaries were. I was right seconds later, he vame down with three diaries and keys. That reminded me.

"Um... Caius, where is September?" I asked him question which I wanted to ask before, but I forgot.

"Um, I don't know. We never found it. It might be with James." Caius answered.

"Who is James?" Really who is he?

"James is Marcus's brother, nut as hell. Hell you didn't know he had brother..."I stared at him with growing confusion. "Well he had, and thanks to Uncle Aron new wife he is out of town in some hell hole." Well that's sounds familiar.

"Um.. Did he change his last name, or something?"

"Yes, to Hunter as his mother's name. Why?" Now he was confused.

_James Hunter._

"Because he is in Forks."

**Flashback**

_"Hello Isabella Swan, I am James Hunter, welcome to Forks High!" He welcomed me._

_"Seriously? What are you? Welcoming committee?" I asked James with voice filled with sarcasm. He looked confused for seconds, but he brought himself back in seconds._

_"Well no. I just came to say ' hello' to new beautiful girl and maybe ask her out.?" He tried, but I am not stupid. All he said, everything is lie. Everybody knows everything about me and I am not 'new'. His actions in other hand were reminding me so badly on someone, but I don't know on who, yet._

_"Liar." I said. I won't mold my thought for him._

_"I am sorry, but how did you call me?" Oh, please you heard me. One more lie, should I even count more._

_"You heard me." I said and he nodded. "So, now I believe it is time for me to tell you that I won't go out with you. I would say I am sorry, but I am not." I told him. I didn't even try to shape my words better, they felt better the way they are,_

_"Okay, as you wish. But, you will go out with me. Willingly or ..." He didn't finish, I did it for him._

_"Not." His eyes jumped to mine. " Is that threat because if it is, I don't buy it."_

_"Isabella or is it Bella?" He waited for my nod. My nod never came. "You can put it as you want, it is your choice." And with that he walked away._

**End of Flashback**

"Okay, I will speak with Uncle Aro and if this doesn't work out." He stopped and held my arm. "Promise me that you will be careful. If Marcus was nuts, James have just invented new definition of being nuts." Is that explanation? Nevermind. I nodded. "Okay, lets go.

Caius drove me to hotel and this time we talked whole way while we were driving. It was nice. Caius was nice. He dropped me, wished me goodnight and flashed smile. He knew I am leaving tomorrow so I told him that invitation for Forks includes him too. He smiled and told me that he will think about it and then drove into darkness of night.

As I entered hotel, staff was already at their feet. I told them that I am leaving tomorrow so they can print me bill in morning. I took ride up stairs with lift. Entered room and found Edward asleep on my bed. I took pajama and changed in bathroom. When I came out of bathroom Edward was awake.

"Busy day?" He questioned.

"Yeah, what did you do?"

"Nothing important, I was just wandered around city." He answered.

"Good. Go back to sleep we are leaving in morning."I instructed.

"Okay." He said okay and pulled me next to him on bed. I laughed into his face and he simply covered us with blanket. Review.

**Sorry for the mistakes. Ball of wool is unraveling as it looks. Review, fav whatever.**

**Happy New year. I think this is longest chapter ever and I am proud of it.**

**Wicked Daphne**

**xoxo**


	20. Chapter 20

So guys, today is my B-day and I am using this opportunity to tell you.

Also this is AN, because school is pushing it boundaries and I don't know when I will update again. I am sorry, but I can't help it. I will update, but it will be much slower.

Sorry again,

Wicked Daphne


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter nineteen**

**Intelligence leads to despair**

**EPOV**

God I am screwed. If I keep up acting like this, Bella will find out. I mean I pulled her in bed next to me. I am always checking up on her, geez I feel like stalker, shit I am stalker. My thoughts aren't pleasant. My mind is screaming at me. What should I do? I mean, she was in bed next to me and I couldn't stop thinking about dream I had about her. Sex dream.

**_Flashback - dream _**

_Jasper knew that she isn't okay, so he left. He would need to go anyway, but this way he was gone even before. From his face I could tell that he was hurt. He scared Bella and ene if he knew that she wasn't herself, he was sad. He took his clothes, helmet, keys and drove away on his Harley. When we couldn't hear motorcycle anymore everything I thought was right was gone in flash. Bella pulled herself out of my arms and started laughing. I didn't understand at first, but when I realized, I couldn't help but laugh with her. She faked it, I don't know how much of it, but I could say much. Maybe everything, maybe she didn't take pills. Maybe she wasn't passed out, maybe she could wake up, maybe she wasn't even 'sleeping', it was all fake._

_"It looks like I am not the only one with wicked mind." Bella told me and winked at me._

_"I never thought you had wicked mind Bell..s" I told her._

_"Oh, don't lie Eddy, I know you did." She looked at me with knowing face and smirked._

_"So Isabella, why me?" I asked, but I knew answer. She was so close to me, her face inches from mine and she was getting even closer._

_"Why would I tell you if it is so obvious…" She licked her lips. " Some stuffs have gotten old and I am looking for new… stuffs." She licked her lips again._

_"What did you have in mind?" I asked her._

_"With new stuff?" She asked and I nodded._

_"Well in my wicked mind, I plotted some fucking, fucking and more fucking." She blinked few times, looking sweetly at me._

_"And who is new stuff?" I asked. She turned her head to away and I wished that she blushed, of course she didn't._

_"You." She said and slammed her lips to mine._

_Nothing was important anymore, just her and well her body tightly pressed to mine. My damaged arm… what arm? It was her, me and my erection pressed to her. It was kisses, hot kisses, my picking her bridal still and carrying her to closets room with bed. It was us. Me ripping her lavender dress from her, her pulling hem of my shirt over my hed, me unclasping her bra, her pulling down my pants, me throwing her almost naked body in the middle of bed, me hovering over her, her kissing me and touching my lean muscles, me kissing her neck, her breast. It was her pulling her panties down and mine after and it was me thrusting in her, pumping in her. Feeling her, feeling me, us complete._

**_End of dream_**

You can say whatever you wish, but it is strange to be in love with someone like her. Sometimes she is happy, cheerful, but she can be mean, revengy, she can say nothing and yet everything, with one word she can crush you. But sometimes, I, we see Bella which we really don't know. She close herself and think, zones out or freak out. She scares me.

Trip to New York was short, but long enough to know that Bella will never be the same little girl I bullied. I googled Isa Dwyer and found everything and yet nothing. I saw Tanya's videos, pictures. I saw Bella which I didn't know even exist. And yet I am here in my room watching videos again and again.

We arrived home yesterday. Mom and dad don't even know we were away. No one knows. Although staff in hotel was jumping for Bella, she threaten them that if someone calls the press she will sue hotel, and never come again. Managers breathe stuck at that, but Bella was nice enough to tell him to breathe. Bella's friends will arrive tomorrow and we will have a party in Swan mansion at Saturday. It is my birthday.

* * *

Bella's eyes were shining. We were waiting at airport for Bella's friends. She acted like she is high on something. We were sitting on uncomfortable chairs and waited. Since five or four people will arrive here. We cam with tree cars. Me and Jasper were in one, Emmet ended alone, while Bella was with Tanya, but since Bella didn't want to make Emmet lonely so she put us all on speakerphone and well it was fun. We arrived in Seattle in record time and this is why we are waiting for so long.

Bella was tapping with her leg up and town for five minutes. Tanya who was next to her, got annoyed and placed her hand on Bella's leg and pushed it down. But that didn't stop Bella from annoying Tanya, Bella then started tapping with other leg. Tanya just rolled her eyes and let it go. She knew Bella is too excited to stop. We waited with annoying sound of tapping for five more minutes and then it was announced that plane from NYC to Seattle landed. Bella jumped from her seat and run to see where are her friends.

We followed her and though we lost her, Jasper spotted her with three boys and one leggy blonde. Two boys were tall, tanned and looked lile brothers. Leggy blond was beautiful, but not as Bella. When we reached them in closer distance I noticed few similarities between blonde and Jasper. That must be his cousin. What is her name again? Ah, yeah, Rosalie. Boy in whose arms now was, I recognized as Demetri. He whispered something in her ear.

"Shut up Demetri or you'll face my wrath!" Bella joked and smacked hand that he held around her tiny waist, lightly.

" That or what Bellarina?" He mocked.

"Or I shall dance over your grave. " Isabella grinned and Demetri faked that he is afraid. Bella laughed and carried on to Rosalie.

"Beautiful, dirty, dirty, rich. How's doing me bitchy friend?" Rosalie asked Bella.

"You leggy whore!" She jumped into Rosalie's embrace. They both laughed.

Bella hugged everyone, Tanya did too. Jasper high-fived boys and hugged his cousin. Bella introduced Emmet and me first and then Demetri, Rosalie , Paul and Jacob. Bella's smile was stretched widely over her face. He hugged everybody twice. Paul guy spun her around, I watched that interaction, glee and happiness. From way Paul looked at Bella I noticed pure adoration and worry, but it was covered so well. Bella looked around and I seemed like she is counting heads or something. I tried to catch her sight, but with no win. finally her eyes landed on Demetri and she gave him meaningful look. Demetri just shuddered.

"He didn't come?" Her question was filled with sound of begging. Who is he?

"I am sorry, Bella, he couldn't." Demetri looked down.

"It is fine I understand." She gave a small smile, but I knew it is fake. "Well, lets get going. Jasper, Edward, Demetri in one car. Emmet, Paul and Jacob in other and I belive Tanya and Rosalie are stuck with me." She grinned like maniac. I helped with bags, mostly Rosalie's and we were set to go when we heard someone call.

"So, no place for me then?" Bella spun around and ran into someone. Guy. Guy was tall, blonde and looked older than High school kid. She jumped in his arms and he kept spinning her around like five year old. They laughed and when he put her down, she gave him kiss on check. He put his hand around Bella's waist and she pulled guy towards us. On their way towards us I saw Tanya and Rosalie sharing look and boys confused as hell. Demetri is the one who was still composed.

"Guys, this is Caius. Caius this are Emmet and Edward, rest of package you already know."

"Oh, of course I do. Rosalie and I just happened to sitting together on plane. You know her, but if I might add, since she left that boyfriend of hers she more charming than ever." Caius guy said and winked at Rosalie. She stuck her tounge out. Tanya laughed and I noticed that Bella is ...shocked?

"Rosalie? You left him and didn't told me?" Oh, that is the catch. Rosalie's face fell.

"Bella.. I...I.." Rosalie struggled with sentence. Bella really is force, with few word she made what I presumed to be egotistical blonde struggling with words. Rosalie looked down and waited for Bella to say something, which she didn't. Bella started laughing. And when we started asking ourselves why, Rosalie yelled"What!?"

"Oh... Nothing... I.. just.. can't.. believe.. that.. you.. don't... know.."Bella said between giggles.

"Know what?!" Leggy blonde cried.

"Oh, nothing. It is just that fact that I was not the only one drunk on New Years eve." What does this have anything with New year? "You were drunk and you swore with you old Gramma that you will break up with that pig." Bella laughed. Rosalie's face was hilarious.

* * *

So when we finally set off to go. I ended in car with Jasper, Rosalie and Demetri. Emmet was with Tanya, Paul and Jacob and Bella ended up with Caius, which about I was lightly nervous, these two seemed to be little two close. One hour drive to Swan mansion where we all will be staying just started and we were already laughing like idiots. Emmet and I set on speakerphones and we were talking and making jokes. First in convoy was Emmet with his Jeep Wrangler, then me with my silver baby and Bella in Bugatti. My eyes almost fell off when she drove in driveway.

Bella didn't put speakerphone up, but I was glancing in mirror to see what are Bella and Caius up to every now and then. After first fifteen minutes of driving with Rosalie in front passenger seat and few hilarious jokes from Emmet, I noticed that Rosalie was glancing back too. For fifteen and half long second everyone was silent until Rosalie broke silence with disturbing question for Tanya.

"So, T, what do you think? Are they fucking?" We heard Tanya's breathe stuck and Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Who with who?" Tanya played dumb. Rosalie who obviously knew what Tanya is doing, set of speakerphone and before anyone could even say a thing, turned to Demetri and asked question again.

"Wait you are serious? Caius and Bella?" Demetri couldn't believe. Rosalie who was still unpleased then turned to Jasper.

"Rose, please. Why would you think that?" Jasper kinda begged.

"Oh, come on. She was so sad when he didn't come. And for the matter of fact I know that neither of you was with her in few last months. Jasper sure, they fucked when she came here.." Jasper gave her a look."Oh, please... I talked with Tanya... And Demetri, you weren't in Forks." Rosalie just looked down, Like she spilled big secret.

"Wait."Jasper turned to Demetri. "You two fucked? When?" Jazz asked and this is officially the most awkward conversation I was in ever.

"Um.." Demetri sighed.

"Yeah, they did." Rosalie said instead of Demetri.

"Okay, okay... Before you say a thing we didn't."Rosalie glanced on Demetri. "We were in Caius's house, practicing. She wore her mini tutu dress and we got to Caius's office to download music for background." "She made few jokes about sex, I returned and well soon enough I had her straddling me while kissing in my bed..." Demetri glanced at Jasper. "Caius arrived home, we heard car in driveway and that is it." Demetri finished. Rosalie and Jasper busted out laughing.

"Demetri your brother is cockblocker."Jasper started. "And were about to have the best time of your life." Rosalie finished.

"What does that mean Rosalie?"I asked her. I mean she is girl talking about another girl's sex life.

"Oh, nothing Edward. It is just that I was dared by Paul to have full make out with Bella once, it wasn't even awkward. That girl does miracles with that tounge of hers.." Rosalie laughed.

"Well, than. This certainly is.. awkward."

Rest of drive was not so awkward. We set speakerphone again on and joked. Suddenly, when we were like five minutes from Swan mansion, Bella and Caius joined speakerphone and asked us if we all wanted to race. Since Emmet immediately said yes, I have agreed too. In mirror I could see Bella and Caius smirking. Emmet and I both speeded and after few corners we lost Bella. I was stupid enough not to look back and see where she disappeared. Emmet asked if I see her. We asked on speakerphone where she is and all we heard was scream.

"Caius! Caius!" And line went dead.

Since road was surrounded with forests, Emmet and I agreed to turn around and see where they are. Mostly because we were panicked as hell. Who wouldn't be we were all speeding a lot over limit and suddenly she despaired and only thing we heard are screams. So we turned. We drove to place where we last saw them when line on speakerphone went on.

"Oh, boys. Still think I am damsel in distress ?" We heard her ask accompanied by sound laugh and tires. Once again line went off.

"Dammit!" Emmet cursed.

"She tricked us!" I yelled.

"Duh.." Rosalie and Jasper sighed.

* * *

When we pulled in driveway. Rosalie commented of beauty of Swan mansion. Bella's car was already in garage and gate was automatically closing when we entered the yard. Bella shouted from somewhere to park cars in garage. Rosalie's jaw touched floor when she saw all babies on garage. Her eyes were shining like diamonds. I was about to ask what is wrong when Jasper stopped me by whispering in my ear that Rosalie is car freak and knows everything about cars.

Emmet and Jasper needed to use 'force' to pull Rosalie out of garage, but in the end she agreed to leave after Paul commented that she is here to see Bella, not cars. It was funny to see Rosalie shoting glares on him. Tanya and Jacob laughed. Jasper explained to me how Paul and Rosalie never agree while Jacob and Tanya mostly agree on everything. I was about to asked something, but scream and sound of splash made us all run in backyard where outdoor pool is.

Isabella Swan Cullen was in poll, fully clothed while Caius was smirking at her. Tanya and Jacob wanted to bet that Caius will end up in pool, but Rosalie and Paul had another idea. Funny thing in this case they both agreed. Paul and Rosalie betted that Bella and Caius are riling something. Tanya and Jacob agreed on bet, oh boy, they wer so sure that there is nothing between them. Demetri stood aside. Jasper joined Rosalie's side and I joined Tanya's side because I really wanted to know that they are not riling anything.

Bella who is still in pool, kicked her shoes out while muttering something about Jimmy Cho. She told him to pull her up and when she did she asked him if he trust her, He said yes and realized his mistake. He was in pool second after while she said "Well, you really shouldn't."

Caius just laughed and got out by himself and told her to run. We were all laughing while Caius was chasing Bella around yard. Funny thing too was that Bella's whole outfit was see through, but she just carried on with chase. Tanya and Rosalie wanted girl power so they cheered on Bella who is fast little thing. Demetri was on his ass laughing at his brother while Jasper and Emmet tried to make bet who will win in this chase.

After two minutes of running around like they own no head. Bella started teasing. Caius would run to her, but she would change her ways in last seconds before he catches her. Bees were all around yard looking for nectar in flowers. Bella was running barefoot and first thing that crosses your mind with that combination happened. Of course, Bella stood on bee. She cursed and and jumped on one leg away from Caius. Since Bella couldn't run, bet was of as soon as chase stopped. Caius picked Bella up bridal style and carried her in house with us following on loose.

Me being doctor's son knew what to do, but Caius apparently knew too. I wonder what is with him, how old is he, in which school he goes and most important what is he to Bella. Caius instructed Rosalie to help Bella with changing in dry clothes while he does the same. I was about to help Bella go up to stairs, but she was already in arms od Caius. What a dick. Few minutes later he came down in living room where we all were and opened little cabinet with medicaments. He took some cream and painkillers. As he got down he was again upstairs in seconds and after minute he came down wiith Bella in his hands and Rosalie by his side. He sat down on couch with Bella in his lap.

I felt everybody staring at them, but I couldn't help, but stare too. They really are close. Her arms were around his neck and he was playing with Bella's hair, they looked like couple. Things weren't actually really awkward, we all sat down and talked. Jasper was sitting on floor for unknown reason, Rosalie's head was in Tanya's lap, Demetri was in armchair and rest of us filled empty places here and there.

Talk we had was useful. I learned lot about this new people. Rosalie Hale is model and her now ex boyfriend wanted to have a threesome with Rosalie and Bella. Bella seriously have too much obsessed people after her. Paula and Jacob are Black brothers and they lost their mom when they were children and are original from La Push small place near Forks. Voulturi brothers, Caius and Demetri lost both of their parents and they were adopted by their Uncle Aro until Caius became legally able to took care of his little brother. They inherited money and company from their parents and now Caius works in collaboration with Swan company.

I noticed that Bella's friend are all rich, smart and have lost someone. After this little talk I actually think that Caius is not dick. He is just more grown up than anyone of us in room, maybe with exception of Bella. Bella and Caius along with Demetri lost their parents, Bella and Caius are both young and in charge of big companies, It may seem odd, but I saw many similarities between Caius and Bella. And yet I couldn't understand one similarity, expression one their faces.

We joked, played games on e-box in pairs. Jasper was paired with Demetri , Jacob with Tanya, Paul with Rosalie, Emmet with me and of course Caius with Bella. Paul and Rosalie won over Jacob and Tanya, but lost against Demetri and Jasper who lost against us. Bella and Caius won every game just in few moves. Once you thought you understand their moves, their strategy changes and bring you down. Emmet really wanted to win, I wanted too, but Caius and Bella we're just like go on with it. Wining wasn't important, just fun, but still they won every game before. While other players were screaming and throwing unneeded punches every where, they both stayed calm. Still like they are reading a book.

Emmet and I were first to chose tools. We thought that this is advantage because then we can chose strongest while Caius and Bella will be stuck with not so good tools. So we did that. We were ready to kick their asses, we waited second to see which tools they chose and Emmet laughed aloud. They chose worst weapons ever. Emmet's ego was big, mine even bigger, we were blinded. In eyes of our mind we already won, and these eyes wanted to dig theirselves out when we lost. I felt miserable.

* * *

After long day we were all of to bed before eleven. Well first we ate ordered pizza and since Mom gave us thumbs up for staying in Bella's house we stayed. Bella prepared room for everyone. With the fact that Swan mansion is rudely too bog, there was plenty of room for everybody. My room was first in long hall which had good look on pool. Acros me was Demetri's room and then were girls and boys in this hall. In other hall, at end was Bella's room and across her Caius's room. By chance, I don't think so.

I found more similarities between Caius and Bella. For example they both hate orange color and diaries, they love maths and strange book named 'Why didn't you kill yourself' and another strange thing. While we were eating I noticed that Caius is vegetarian like Bella. I learned that he was in same school as Bella was in New York, he plays piano and guitar and he definitely rocks on X-box with Bella.

I couldn't sleep so I decided to go to kitchen and and drink some wather. I tried to be as silent as possible not to wake anyone, but when I returned upstairs I saw Demetri staring at something through window in hall.

"Hey." I stood next to him.

"Hey". He glanced at me and returned his focus on something outside.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Looking at.."He gestured with his finger to pool. "That." I glanced at pool and looked back at Demetri when I realized that he isn't pointing on pool, He is pointing at what is inside of pool.

It looks like Rosalie and Paul won their bet. Bella and Caius are riling something. I am sure, one hundred percent sure. Her they are swimming in pool and giggling like kids. I envy Caius, here his is fooling around with girl I love. What a pity. I will die alone.

"Oh."

"Don't worry, things won't go much further."He said just as I watched Bella in embrace of Caius. I could only assume that her legs are tangled around his hips. Her hands were in his hair. His hand catched one loose strand of hair and placed it behind her ear. If I didn't envy him, I would think they are cute. I could see Bella biting her lip while he is kissing her neck. She is probably trying to stop a moan coming out of her mouth. He smiled and she kissed him, passionately. I looked away.

"How do you know that? They look pretty much.. cozy." I finally responded.

"Yeah, they do.." I rolled my eyes. "But he is thee years older the she is, while she is still underage and also Marcus was our cousin." Shock, yes.

"You mean... Oh God, it is that how she met him? By you?" I asked.

"No. Marcus came one day and introduce his new girlfriend. Ah, look they pulled away."Demetri said without of hint of surprise in his voice.

"How did you know they will?" I asked Demetri, this boy surely knows something.

"Because they are the same."I was confused when he glanced in my way. "They were both pushed to grow up faster and well since they are pure genius, they have same habits, like thinking too much." Demerti looked outside again. " Caius's IQ was 194 when he was five years old. I along with few experts assume that Bella's IQ is eve higher. " Wow, that is lot of brains.

"God.. So is it true that intelligent people are the most miserable ones?" Did I just ask the most stupid question ever, probably.

"If you took Caius as example, I don't know what to tell you. But their mood changes a lot. One second their are the most happy person on planet..."

"An in other they wish they were never born." I finished.

"Exactly." Review

**So my dears, as I said updating will go slower because of school, but I will update stories.**

**Sorry for mistakes and please tell me what are you thinking.**

**Wicked Daphne**

**xoxo**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter twenty**

**Edge**

**EPOV**

**An: **

**_I am so fuckingly sorry for mistakes and long wait._**

I woke up in soft bed. Covers were so soft, silky. I guess being rich is nice then. I took a tour through house. Every bed has same expensive covers and overpriced... everything. My dad is the doctor so we do have money, but we are not shoving it a lot. Still everybody knows we have, but same is with Bella, everybody knows she is a rich kid.

It was six thirty in morning, too early, but still I decided to rise up and shine like sunshine... Just kidding I decide to take shower. As in every other room, bathroom is linked to bedroom. Marble tiles, big mirror, bathtub and shower, I guess this is how perfect bathroom looks like, but in my opinion it is too big. Whole house is too big. Dozens of rooms, halls, window and expensive things.

I guess if you live alone, you could get lonely.. Auch, I wonder if Bella is lonely. I mean except for oversized house, there are more things that can make you lonely and fact that she lives alone because she has no family only adds to that. That is probably why dad wanted Bella to live with us, so she doesn't get lonely. I can only think of way she keeps herself out of bore, but knowing her, she might not even be lonely. She might use that time for herself and read or play piano, guitar or dance even. Maybe...

Water was perfect. Not cold, not hot, just warm. I assume Bella, placed fresh towels and shampoos on sink. Since she is girl you would except girly stuff, but no towels was plain white, sure it was probably over priced judging by its softness, but still plain and shampoo was for men. North for men by Oriflame for body and conditioner for hair, actually same as I have. How did she know? We shall never know.

After fifteen minutes of amazing shower, I was perfectly washed and savory (nice smelling?). 'Plain' towels were even softer then I imagined, damn, I will not call them plain anymore. After my hair was mostly free from water drops, I went to bedroom so I can dress up. Nothing special, casual, summer clothes, but still suitable for Forks.

By the time I was ready, it was seven thirty, I guess shower took me longer then. What to do next? My stomach growled. Well we will eat then. When exited room I heard silent music coming from floor above me. I decided to take a look, so I walked to staircase. While I was walking, I was wondering who else is up so early.

I knew what is on that floor, indoor pool, gym and some random doors to another room. I finally set a step on last stair and reached the top of Himalaya. Kidding, stairs weren't so long. To pool room, I went first, there was nobody in there so I checked gym, still no one. Fine! I thought. I will follow sound of music just as Lykke Li follows rivers.

Sound lead me down hall to 'random doors'. Hell, I was never in there. What the heck could be in there. Lets go and found out. I was about to pull doorknob when I noticed something on doors. Doors were made from massive oak tree, but that is not important, I noticed few words written on wood with elegant, but childlike handwriting. Words were written really low on wood, like child wrote them. Bella's handwriting.

_'I must'_

I thought about it for a moment. What did she must to do? This is written ages before today and I wonder what did little Bella must do when she was little. Is this a reminder or something? I have a lot of different theories, but none of them is right I belive, Bella was different even as child and I noticed that just now when I know she is. Strange, maybe I am self-centered after all. No wonder Bella called me jerk and broke my arm.

There are so many things I was able to find out about her, but never did. What kind of friend I was when we were kids? I never knew she plays or dances. I am self-centered since always. I begun to act even worse when she started dating Emmet. I don't know what I felt then. I don't know why I started hating her or when, I just know I did. Long time passed after I discovered that all things I did were made from jealousy I felt towards my brother.

Today, I feel ashamed. I made Bella's life living hell because she chose my brother over me. But I have done it unknowingly. I didn't know about my feeling towards her. It was easier when we were children. All together and friends. Maybe that caused jealousy, fact that I might lose a friend which in the end I did. Stupid ego! Even stupider me! Agh, my mother would be ashamed, I believe she had no intention of raising moron.

I pulled doorknob and entered room. Studio. Music studio and window kinda a thing which throws a sight directly at another studio, dance studio. Music studio is relatively small towards dance studio, but it is still big. Sound which seemed so silent was now much more louder. Somebody was playing guitar, classical one. I closed doors behind me and took a look.

"Come on Demetri, this is best I can!"Femine voice of Rosalie Hale got to my ears. Rosalie and Demetri were in dance studio, judging by the sound.

"Come on Blondie! You can do better, much more better Like threee times better." Demetri mocked her.

"Well at least I can get threesome,you on other hand.."Now I saw them. Rosalie gestured towards his pants."You are in tights!" Rosalie laughed and stood up from chair she was previously sitting on. I noticed she is the on who played guitar.

"Oh, shut up and play!"

"Sorry, but no. I am going to find Bella, maybe wake her up?"Why did this sound like question. He chuckled.

"Yeah, good luck with finding her. I found her staring at piano when I first came here, she is probably jogging..." Poor guy couldn't even finish his sentence.

"Wait, she is already awake? God I thought that if she spends night with your hot brother she might not wake so early... Oh and God, she just stared at it? She didn't play?" Rosalie cut Demetri's sentence and then began to ramble.

"God woman, do you ever shut up? First they're riling something, but Caius has morals placed to high to sleep with underage girl! Second, yes that that means that you won your bet, because I and Edward saw them kissing and... Third, no she didn't play."

* * *

After eavesdropping Demetri and Rosalie I let them be. God, I was hungry. In kitchen downstairs, I found Emmet already awake making sandwich. God is everybody wake already. I checked around house and after breakfast and found Jacob and Tanya in living room both sleeping on very same couch. TV was still on, they have probably fallen asleep while watching movie together. Paul was still asleep too, I heard loud snoring from room he was placed in.

Caius, I don't give a heck where he is, but just as long as he is away from Bella. I mean what the hell was that yesterday? Dude is three years older from Bella and he thinks that being with her is wrong. Bella is close to being adult so I really can't understand Caius. First they act like couple, they eat each others faces and then he pulls away.

"It is not my problem that I am more fit then you my highness." I heard Bella mocking somebody while entering kitchen when I was deep in thoughts.

"Oh, shut up... It is in my genes, old guy wasn't athlete." Great, she was mocking Caius.

Two chuckling figures of Bella and Caius entered living room. Paul came downstairs as Tanya and Jacob woke fifteen minutes ago, it was hilarious. Tanya's hair was tickling Jacob's nose. He moved, woke and in process woke Tanya too. When they saw each other and position they were in, they screamed in horror. Emmet stood there with huge grin across his face, he looked amused.

Caius and Bella both looked sweaty. Bella's blond hair was tied up in ponytail, while Caius's hair rested on his shoulders. Both of them were wearing black sweatpants with white T-shirt and pair of trainers. Nice, he was jogging with her. Caius's arm was wrapped around Bella's shoulder. Ugh, I want to be this guy. He sat in armchair and pulled Bella in his lap. Jacob and Paul exchanged look.

"Oh, bet progress time!" Jasper appeard from nowhere dragging Rosalie and Demetri with him.

"What bet?"Bella and Caius said at same time and chuckled. Right...

"Um.."

"Oh, come on say it! I want to know!"No one answered. Bella rolled her eyes. "Gosh, you bet about me?What is this time?"Bella glanced at every person in room. No one answered. "Oh."She said suddenly and stood moved from Caius's lap to floor. No shit Sherlock."Seroiusly you bet that Caius and I are doing something behind your backs? You are wicked." She spat and walked out of room, Caius following her. Predictable.

**BPOV**

Ny's gang was in Forks! I am so happy about it, but even more happier since Caius came. Yep, I know he is older and all that, but Caius is man candy and **actually** understands me. Well partly, but more then anyone else. He was through hell himself so I think he know what kind of 'problems' I have. Yes, I have problems. I am not denial.

As much as I was thrilled when they all arrived, something disappointed me. Rosalie came, my best friend came. She hugged hell out of me. Demetri, Jakie and Paulie hugged me, but not to tight. In their eyes I am porcelain doll. Seeing Caius was most joy. He spun me around like little child and drove in car with me.

We talked, He asked if I started reading Marcus's diaries and I answered him that he alway found fun and makes it disappear. He laughed a little, but kinda admitted. He was all into 'you should read diaries' and crap like that. He said that if I read them I will be able to understand what happened. Yeah, why in name of what that is holy would I read diaries of mentally unstable, we talked, drove, raced with cars, cheated in race, got through day and went to pool.

_**Flashback**_

_"Come on Caius it will so much fun!" I said as I was pulling him downstairs with me to outdoor pool._

_"You do own something much more covering than this."He gestured towards my bikini. I rolled my eyes._

_So what? This is first time in months that I am not afraid of someone seeing my scars. Or maybe this is a guy thing. I can't help my sexiness, so I just add on it. Yes, I am aware of my looks. It happens when you listen everybody telling you how hot or beautiful you are, you become big ego person, but screw it. So to add on my sexiness I wore the smallest bikini I have. I bet I looked hot in that red bikini of mine. Maybe that is why Caius seems nervous. I am hot._

_"Well, maybe I could go naked then?" I turned to face him. He gulped. "As I thought."I smiled wickedly._

_We came outside and raced to pool. He jumped in and waited for me to join. He raised his arms in air as in waiting to catch me. I smiled again and dived in. When I was under water I swam right in front of him, His face was inches away from mine. He chuckled._

_"You find something amusing Caius?" I asked him while blinking 'innocently'._

_"You." He took deep breath and disappeared under water._

_ I glanced around. Left, right, ahead, behind, no Caius. I knew what that meant. I prepared myself with taking deep breath, he pulled me under water. We dived, laughed, swam, we were having fun. As in lots of fun. Caius cheered me. I forgot about problems with him. I felt like I felt with Emmet when we were together. It was perfect. Caius know what I have done. He knows I killed Marcus and still he is here, making me feel safe._

_I rested my back against wall, Caius swam to me. "Can I take a look?"He asked and I knew what he meant. After my nod I turned, so he was facing my bare back._

_"Monstrous."He spat. I closed my eyes trying to push memories away._

_Caius draw line with his finger over 'M' shaped scar I carry. He placed his hands on my tiny waist and forced me to turn. I opened my eyes and stared in his. His hands left my waist and he placed them at wall at each side of my shoulders. I was caged by him, but couldn't care less. This is Caius. He was angry, I saw waked tiran in him, but he wasn't angry with me, person he is angry with is dead and I believe that is what angers him the most. Fact that he can go after Marcus and beat him like shit or slather him._

_"Then it is good that he is dead, isn't it?"I asked unnecessary question. Caius muscles hardened as he squeezed his fists._

_"Indeed." He agreed and we continued with staring contest._

_His eyes were like mirrors, I saw only myself in them. As we stared at each other, he calmed his nerves. I chuckled and before he asked what I forced his head under water. He came back to surface moments after looking murderous, but not really. He pulled me over his back and threw me in deeped water. Water splashed everywhere. I got idea and soon enough we were splashing each other like five year-olds. __He won. He breathed about his victory as he had me pinned do wall. He was placed between my legs, my legs were around his hips. Awkward? No. Hot? Yes. _

_"What is my award?"He asked. His warm breath touched my checks._

_"What do you want?"I aswered his question with question while trying and succeeding to sound seductive. _

_I can said I succeeded because he pulled away from temptation. He would pull even further if I didn't pull him back. He was now even closer to me. My boobs were pressed against his chest. His face, his lips were inch away from my lips. I bit my lip while trying not to smile. I looked in his eyes, blinked once and there was no way out for him then. He couldn't back away, so he decided to give in._

_His lips brushed against mine. So soft I thought while he was still in doubt. He pulled away as much as he could in my squeeze. He looked away. I looked down, I slightly felt embarrassed so I loosened my legs around his hips. My hands linked behind his neck were placed by my sides now. I felt Caius 's stare. I didn't dare to look up. How could I? I have might lost only person who understands because I acted like hormonal teenager. Nice work Bella, once you act normal and see what happened. Well maybe I was not made to be normal._

_I was in deep thoughts when Caius made his move. His pulled my head up by my chin. I thought he is going to say something, but instead of that, he slammed his lips against mine. We created friction as he grabbed my ass so he can lift me up and slammed me against wall. I moaned in his mouth. His hands were everywhere, he was rubbing my thighs as my legs made circle around his hips. My hands were doing same favor to him. I was rubbing them against his muscular chest. Our tounges fought for dominance.  
_

_We pulled away panting. We took few breaths and I began to kissing his neck. He pulled me up and kissed his way down my neck all way to me breasts before he kissed me passionately on lips again. I moaned. He was doing this so damn good. His hands decided to give some attention to me breast as he squeezed my nipple. I moaned again. He flinched, pulled away for second only to mutter something. I am not sure what he said, but it truly sounded like ' Damn you hot woman'._

_He got hard. Yes, he did. I felt him. Lucky me. I pulled my hand in his trunks and squeezed him. He was big. Caius groaned and decided to return favor. His hand removed my bikini panties from way and he played with my clit. Whole time while we were doing this, we never broke contact between our lips. I wanted him. I wanted to ravish him. I wanted everything he wish to give me. I wanted him and he pulled away._

**_End of Flashback_**

"I can't believe! Caius, they supposed to be my friends a look what they did!"I screamed in frustration.

"Well, it looks like our behavior caused suspicions and we can not deny it. It did happened and somebody probably saw us."Damn it how could he be so calm?

"Okay..."I nodded. "Then why do you deny it?"I asked him.

"Bella... I am not denying anything, I am just saying that it can't happen."He answered my question.

"And... Because?"I became impatient.

"Read diaries and you will know."

I stared at him. What is the deal with this stupid diaries I wonder. Always same. Why can't he just answer damn question? I breathed out. This will be epic I can feel it in my bones. I feel that today. It will be today... Calm before the storm.

"No."I whispered. He stepped dead in tracks. "No!"I yelled. "I will fuckingly not read diaries of that fucker! What is the purpose?! He destroyed me! He fuckingly destroyed me and now you want me read about it?!" I yelled into his face. I got angry to easily this time. Voices from living room died as I screamed.

"Where did you put them?" Fucker was still calm. "Where?"He stepped towards me and shook my shoulders.

I didn't answer. I stared at floor. He growled in frustration and hurried up stairs. Rosalie and Paul came out and asked if I am okay. I nodded. Caius was away for few minutes and then we all heard heavy steps. Caius walked towards and stood few steps away from me. Then he brought black book into view. Damn you Caius! How did he find diaries I hid. Damn you brain! I hate when we think same. I feel predictable. He opened diaries at some damn page.

"I met her, I really did. I found her, I still can not believe I really did..."He read few lines from diaries and looked up to see my face. "Go ahead, page 13, second row, first word." He pushed diaries in my hands. I sighed.

"I was looking for Demtri in that damn dance studio. God know I came only to mock him when I saw her. She is everything I want, I need. Her brown hair was the first thing I noticed. Her hair had that beautiful red shine. She came out from Demeti's class. The most beautiful girl, no woman I ever saw. She is perfect in every definition of perfection. Her body, strained in miniature tutu dress and her eyes. I felt big smile stretching all way towards my ears. She truly is the one I waited for. She is my brown-eyed brunette."I looked at Caius. "Why are you torturing me?"

"Turn the page."Was all he said. I did.

"I followed her that day. I followed her towards her home, noticed small things about her. The way she smiles which is magnificent, her walk which is to sexy, her whole being. Everything about her seems right, but that is only on surface. She is something that James would like. She is fake. She hides her emotions and shows what people want to see or hear. She is intelligent I will give her that, but that girl is lost. I found out her name Isa Dwyer, but when I researched that name I found nothing, fake name probably." I read.

"Turn to page 66, seventh row, third word." I turned and started reading where he instructed.

"I found out her real name. It was so easy, all I had to do was ask her. But I guess it is easier when girl like that is your girlfriend. Isabella Swan. Ah, how nice that sounds, when I say that name, it feels like her name dances over. Magnificat, purely magnificent. I wonder where did she hide all my life. Ah, it will be shame to kill her..."I gulped and damn book fell on floor. I was shaking uncontrollably. And yet Caius handed me another diary.

"I believe that Isabella deep inside hate Edward Cullen, that boy is a maniac. Ah, Eddie boy. When I pulled in front of store in Forks, slutty girl named Jessica told me everything I wanted to know. Jessica is boring person, but I decided against killing her. Small town and murder would bring a lot of attention. I am so happy with my findings. Emmet Cullen, Charles Swan, Carlisle and Esme Cullen, Lauren Malory and of course Eddie boy. I linked every connection. Isabella whose mother died, is one special girl. She is to intelligent for her own good."My voice cracked.

"Jasper Hale is an idiot. But Isabella dear is independent and dependent. That girl would do everything for love and that is her weakness. I searched everything twice, I even hacked something for information. Bella has more brains than that prick of my cousin Caius. I just hate that guy. I will kill him, if he doesn't do it before me. Guy is mental. Anyway Isabella's intelligence works same way as Caius's, it turns onto them and eats them." I looked at Caius."She is unstable. She gives in to love to easily. She believes she loves when in reality she doesn't. Thing I am trying to say is that Isabella is doesn't know what love is. She goes for affection." Am I really like that? "Give me november." I said coldly.

Caius handed me black book with hesitation. I saw that look in his eyes. Hurt and anger mixed together in painful mix. Game of anger that burns. It is like game Marcus played with me. While he was sure if what he is about to do, anger blinded him. Lucky for me. He was angry when I didn't give him satisfication of hearing my screams. He was angry when I mocked him, he was angry because I didn't beg him. Anger,kills.

I took diary and took deep breath. Kill me now. Never in my life I felt like this. Since always I knew that my life will be full of ups and downs, but not even in my darkest nightmare I thought that mostly it will be downs. I flashed through few pages, just took a look. I checked last date ever. November 18th 2011. Date of his death.

**_Marcus's diary_**

_November 18th 2011  
_

_Today is the day! I waited for this for so long and here we are. My beautiful Isabella is going to die today. This will be epic. I only wish James is here to share my joy, he would be excited too. Ah, I remember how all of this started. Only as a dare and then whole point of my life was made. But not only my life, James's too. My brother and I share same interest, so it was so freaking amazing when we agreed on this. _

_Isabella's part in this is important to, bigger than James's even. Well now at least. She will always be special, the first. I can tell this is like falling in love, there is always the first. That special one who you will always remember.__ I feel honored._ When she dies, world will lose one amazing creature, special in every way, from beauty to intelligence. And this is why I feel honored because her life is in my hands and I am ready to take it.

_ Even with her dead she will always have her rightful place in my heart. She deserve it, I almost changed my decision and truth to be told that is so sick. I never change my decision, decision I once made, I follow. First kill will be special, second, third,fourth, they will all be special in way..but first with my Isabella, girl who almost had my heart._

_Isabella will be missing, that will bring everybody up, police will be everywhere. All in vain. She will not be will not be found for long time. People will assume her kidnapped. I will play my game smart, James will be my alibi. I will return and mourn her, 'beg' kidnappers for her return on national television, it will all be game. While she is missing, I will look for another special one, brown-eyed brunette. As I look for her, I will send little bits to police and Isabella's father. Her cell, jacket dumped with some documents, bag. Police will once again search for her everywhere. If they follow leads as planned they will end up im small cabin. I will be careful while 'dealing' with Isabella._

_ Every spot of wooden cabin will covered in blood. After founding so much spilled blood, police will be forced to declare her dead, but her body will still be nowhere to be found. I will hide it, so good that even I will have trouble with finding it again. But her body will not be lost for ever, she will be constant reminder of my whole work, every experience with or without her. She will be found, or at least her remains she. Charles Swan will get remains of his daughter before he dies and when my time comes, I might even admit everything. I will be legend, police will never found any prove of my guilt, so it will always be mystery if I really did it or not. Ah, my beautiful Bella._

**_End_**

**_So... Review.._**

**_I am so fuckingly sorry for mistakes and lond wait. _**

**_Wicked Daphne_**


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